How to get over nerves about receiving oral sex?

[onlygoodbook.livejournal.com]

I've been with my partner (cis-male, I'm cis-female) for almost a year and we have a wonderful relationship and active sex life... and I still can't get over my nerves about oral sex to actually let him go down on me, though he is eager to do so. I love going down on him and so I can imagine that he would earnestly look forward to returning the favor, but I just can't imagine that it won't be a turn off for him. One of my concerns is that I've NEVER had an orgasm. Oral sex is kind of the last frontier. Both PIV sex and being touched by my partner can both feel great, but intense approaching-an-orgasm feelings come and go pretty quickly, dissipating after a few seconds. If oral sex doesn't do it for me either, I am a bit worried that my partner (and I!) will be disappointed. How can I work on my own feelings toward this so that I can relax? I've been sexually active for five years (I'm 23) and I'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with my body. No one is making me feel this way - every sexual partner I've had has been understanding and not taken my inability to orgasm as some kind of deficiency or personal insult, so this is coming from me.

I don't feel insecure or unsure about sex and I have a healthy body image, except for these few square centimeters in this one very particular situation! :-/

EDITED TO ADD: Aiming at orgasm isn't at all the object of sex for me. My partner and I have a great sex life, I think, and I am always happy to be intimate with him. I don't think about reaching orgasm, just enjoying the experience.

Thanks!

Comments

[rikstar.livejournal.com]

I grew up in a very comunicative house hold and I just thought I might share some things with you that my mother has told me!! 1. Every girl is nervous about oral the first time (whether this is true or not doesn't matter, it helps to think so!), you just gotta relax and enjoy the ride (I closed my eyes the first time because I didn't want to see him down there). 2. if you want to experiance an orgasm you need to find your special spots on your own time ( know they self!, or better yet, you have to learn to love yourself before anyone else can love you the way that you deserve to be loved ;) ). 3. communication is the key to reaching orgasm with a partner ( don't be afaid to tell them when something is feeling really good ) 4. the louder you get the better it feels ( i swear I thought she was nuts when she told me this, but it has proven to be absolutely true for me. when I get loud He enjoys it more and it starts feeling better and better hence getting closer to an orgasmic state. 5. if you are afraid that he won't like the smell down there, tell him that you are afraid, chances are he likes it a million times better that you do (guys are just weird like that!). 6. the more you focus on the feeling and just let yourself be in that feeling the more likely you will be to orgasm, don't think about trying to get there, if it's not gonna happen it's just not. Oh and one from me... guys love it down there, but alot of them don't know what they're doing. it is very important to talk to him about how it feels when he's doing his thing. don't be afaid to say no i don't like that, or oh yeah right there! sqirming is totally natural and makes it more fun!! ENJOY and GOOD LUCK! :)