vaginapagina | Member Posts

Happy year of the horse! Lunar new year was on Tuesday the 17th. This sticker is a Prezwalski horse by artist Featherbone.

This week was kind of a drag. The week started with the extremely sad news about my friend spikedluv passing away. While she'd passed away a couple weeks ago, I didn't learn about it until Sunday, and I very much miss her presence. I'm still sick, and at this point I'm just tired of it dragging on! I'm coughing a lot, and I'm tired, and I'm going through kleenex way faster than I'd like. Otherwise I feel mostly okay, but I'm just so tired of it, ha. Alex and I did have a lovely day on Monday, visiting the botanic gardens, but everything else was pretty blah. I did push through to get a lot done on Saturday, which sort of felt like it redeemed the do-nothing of the rest of the week, but I still did very little writing and am frustrated by how slow reading has been.

Goals for the week:

I did not finish reading Hell Bent, though I did read some almost every night
I did work on reviews
We did pet-sit for mom and Taylor
We went to the botanic gardens as a bit of a belated Valentine's day
I did not make my phone calls
I did not work on my reading page
I did not work on my WIP outline
I did water my plants. My poor plants.

Tracked habits:

Work - 5/7
Household Maintenance - 5/7
Physical Activity - 3/7
Wrote 500/1000+ Words - 0/7
Non-fiction Writing - 1/7 - over 1000 words
Meta Work - 2/7
Personal Writing - 4/7
Other Creative Things - 1/7
Reading - 7/7 - mostly I read Hell Bent, though I read a bit of my ebook; Alex and I read some of The Luminous Dead
Attention to Media - 7/7 - Sunday we watched the Olympics, and I fell asleep watching youtube; Monday we also watched some youtube; Tuesday we watched some Olympic figure skating, some news coverage, and later a review; Wednesday we watched some news and storm chasing, and then some game playthroughs; Thursday we watched more Olympic figure skating and ski mountaineering (which seems horrible, lol); Friday watched a gaming livestream and some Olympics; Saturday had some Olympics in the background.
Video Games - 0/7
Social Interaction - 3/7

Total words written: 1221 on reviews

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: my apartment

kaberett

inCompleted White Puzzle!!! We were right about That One Piece being the missing one, and now that I'm not worried about spoilers I have poked the internet and it (mostly in the form of reddit) confirms that Those Are The Missing Bit.
one (1) orchid flower is all the way open!
supermarket had discount fancy croissant, so we are most of the way to prepped for Fancy Breakfast tomorrow morning :)

mistressofmuses

I am, tragically and frequently to my own detriment, a procrastinator. I am also a classic millenial who is afraid of the phone. So when I have phone calls I have to make, I will sometimes put them off for far longer than is reasonable.

I've been putting off a minor maintenance thing since *November.*
I needed to call and reschedule a doctor's appointment (because I forgot to ask for the day off).
I needed to call the hospital, because every time I try to pay my bill online the payment declines.

I was going to do all of that three weeks ago. Then I was going to do it two weeks ago. Then I was going to *definitely* do it on my weekend last week. Then when I didn't do it last weekend I was going to force myself to get up early and do it before work. Then when that wasn't going to happen, I was going to make myself sacrifice a lunch break to do it. Then when that still didn't happen, I told myself I really *had* to do it this weekend. I even tried to hype myself up about while at work on Sunday, like "yeah, if you make those calls on Monday, you don't have to worry about them after! You'll be done! You can do whatever you want for the rest of the weekend, guilt-free! It's going to feel like such a relief for it to be off your to-do list!" This morning, I did not want to make those calls, and tried several times to convince myself that tomorrow would be better to make them anyway for some reason (which would of course inevitably lead to putting it off again.)

BUT I MADE THE CALLS.

I called the hospital, and the payment was also declined over the phone, though it at least told the lady on the phone why: it exceeded my bank's daily spending limit.
So I called my bank. They gave me a temporary increase to the spending cap, but told me the charge would probably decline again, but that I should get an immediate call or text from them asking if it was a legit charge, and then I could try again.
So I tried the charge again. Declined. No call or text from the bank.
Fuck it. I just charged a partial amount, and will keep going in and paying it in chunks over the next few days.

I called my doctor's office, and that was at least easy. Pushed my physical out a couple weeks, which will hopefully be good. (Maybe I'll have shaken the cold by then.)

Called for the maintenance thing. They'll come by tomorrow.

...and I felt absolutely no sense of satisfaction or accomplishment, which was really frustrating. :/ Usually when I finally Do The Thing, I at least feel really relieved once it's done! Often a little embarrassed at the same time, because it's typically such a small amount of effort compared to how much I stressed over it, but at least there's some relief! This time... nothing.

Perhaps it's because today I did find out that my insurance is denying coverage of my visit to my PCP (saying I owe an additional $350) because in order to visit my PCP... they say I needed a referral from my PCP.

I am frustrated because that will require additional, probably even WORSE phone calls.

I still feel like I should be glad to have gotten those other calls done with, but if anything it made me feel worse. We went and ran errands, and then I just spent the day sitting like a lump of misery, because I'm still sick and coughing up infection-flavored gunk, and I felt worse instead of better after doing the thing I'd put off, which made it really difficult to try and do anything else.

Boooooo.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Location: my apartment

joshuaorrizonte

Hello. Been a while. I started keeping a private journal, because I didn’t think anyone was reading this one. No judgment involved in that statement, of course, at all. It was what it was. I’ve been made aware that was a misconception, so.

Here I am.

I had an MRI liver elasticity test done in November that showed that the Fibroscan was a false alarm. I still have no scarring on my liver, which is a relief and a half. However, I’m not having any such luck with my pulmonologist. Two CT scans have shown signs of interstitial lung disease, and I’m going for a third in April, because my pulmonologist simply does not believe the first two. That’s aggravating as hell and I’m annoyed at having treatment for potential lung disease delayed because my pulmonologist can’t fathom my difficulty breathing is anything but being fat—I’m sorry, *deconditioned.*

I am losing weight, but feeling worse as it goes. I can’t wait to hear what my PCP and pulmonologist thinks of that correlation.

I’m done with the eating disorder clinic; my official diagnosis at the end was ”Binge Eating Disorder in Remission,” something my team has never seen happen before. I’m very happy about that, and I feel like that is a huge accomplishment.

My bank recs are all done and caught up. I’m quite pleased with my performance at work, except for the fact that I’m down to filing and file purges now, and I can’t do a whole lot of that at once, because I end up breathless and in pain. I’m going to try one more time when I go back to work tomorrow, if there’s nothing to do, but if I end up in the state I was in on Thursday, I’m going to give them a heads up that I’m seeking an accommodation, because no job is worth literally harming myself to do.

I say I’m going to try one more time because, while I called out on Friday because of how I still felt, it turns out I was actually sick, so maybe the pain and breathlessness was from that. I have off today, too (blizzard last night), and I’m very, very much hoping I’m well enough to work tomorrow, because if not, I’ve gotta drag my ass to urgent care and I really don’t want to do that. We’ll see.

Also: I won my workplace’s Ugly Christmas Sweater contest this year. That was nice.

There isn’t much more to say today. I’ll start updating again, although perhaps not every day. We’ll see.

<3

Current Music: Sad Story, Loveaholic

kaberett

Reading. Finished The Rose Field (Pullman)!!! I am Making Arrangements for it to Leave My House. ( Read more... )

ANYWAY. I finished it. It Is Done.

Then read the first few pages of Dead Hand Rule (Gladstone; latest in the Craft Wars) before deciding that actually I need to reread at least the end of Wicked Problems in order to remember what's going on...

Writing. Progress continues both glacial and extant.

Listening. My relisten-while-actually-awake of the first chunk of The Hidden Almanac continues, slowly.

Playing. We have finished an Exploders run on Hard in Inkulinati. I am contemplating, given how smoothly that went, whether I want to have a try at Very Hard...

Cooking. It's not quite "this week's breakfast dal, and a loaf of bread", but it does sort of feel like it was. Partly because for reasons we did not get our usual box of veg on Monday last week, which meant that we were scrabbling around using up Shelf Things and the occasional Supermarket Discount Item...

NO WAIT, I also DID make buckwheat pancakes, and inspired by lnr combined Tinned Pear and Stem Ginger with Vanilla Essence and also Ground Cardamom to go in same. V good. Will repeat.

Eating. My mother acquired for us, as A Special Treat, a variety of Baked Goods from The Fancy Bakery In Eddington: my favourite is still the fig-and-?ricotta, but the blueberry-and-?ricotta is also very good, as is the fougasse. A was extremely pleased with the pain aux raisins. AND my mother made some excellent baba ganoush, eaten with said fougasse.

This week also feat. rainbow bagels (which we got to watch some of the manufacturing process for!) as well as misc other foodstuffs from Shalom Hot Beigels.

A has some coffee and butterscotch cake (leftovers from a test bake!) from Flour Arrangements; alas by the time I got my act together to actually collect Excess Test Cake the apple pie and lemon had both all gone...

Exploring. I got to spend a little time in the City of London Cemetery, which is currently ablaze with (among other things) purple crocuses; we also (on our second attempt) managed to go on A Snowdrop Walk Around Anglesey (with thanks to aldabra for reminding me that it is That Time Of Year still!). Snowdrops excellent. May or may not get around to sharing some photos. (Our first attempt at A Snowdrop Walk Around Anglesey Abbey wound up mutating into a poke around the back of Churchill and Astronomy to peer at bulbs and other plants misc, which was also very enjoyable even if I did once again fail to take A to see the Barbara Hepworth.)

Growing. ... I bought a bag of snowdrops In The Green at Anglesey, to go into the ground around the cherry tree at the allotment? The lemongrass seedlings haven't all died?

mistressofmuses

It's been a little bit. Have some pics of some creatures.

Bella yearns for apples.

(From back when I was trying to slowly work up to more solid food, ha.)

Pictures of Bella, Berry Mad, Guava Splash, Ripley, and Jaspurr:

Bella watches the Westminster Dog Show.

(The American Kennel Club does not recognize the American Pit Bull Terrier as a breed, which is why Bella does her FastCAT and other titles under the "All American Dog" category. American Staffordshire Terrier is the closest to her breed.)

Majestic.

Cozy.

Berry Mad has turned her entire pond into her personal mud puddle.

Guava Splash!

Watching you.

Ripley the garter snake!

Ripley says :P

And Jaspurr! No one will out-comfy him.

In unrelated news, I did not dodge the cough. :( I hoped I was in the clear, because Alex was coughing by day three or four. After a week, I figured I was safe... but day nine? I think? brought the cough, which has only gotten worse today.

But in surgery recovery, the scabs and all their accompanying glue are finally gone! Incision sites are still quite tender, but seem to be healing up really well. I've had occasional twinges in my lower right abdomen (where my appendix was), but very slight and pretty infrequent, so nothing I'm too worried about.

Right now I really just wish the cold and accompanying cough would go away! I thought I was on the mend on Thursday, when I woke up still sick, but feeling much better than previous days... but alas, it was a false alarm, and I was back to crappy yesterday and today, but with extra cough! It's been kicking my ass, and I've been struggling to do much of anything the last several days. I'll try to get caught back up here as soon as I can.

Current Mood: sick
Current Location: my apartment

kaberett

Breakfast dal. This experiment continues to work extremely well.
I have definitely reached the point with the Incomplete White Puzzle where it's speeding up significantly on account of enough pieces are in place to significantly reduce the number of possible combinations that need checking. Today's decision was to start filling in from the bottom edge, where I still had a chunk that was just edge and no middles, because I think that up in the top left (interior) corner I've identified The Missing Piece, and will get annoyed if I wind up with non-contiguous gaps...
Today alternating Locate One Puzzle Piece with Do One Useful Job has been nice and smooth and easy. I have got Several things done. Is pleased.
Really really enjoying my ridiculous washi tape collection. Today I self-indulgently Added More Week Dividers, including replacing some pre-existing ones that I was Not Enjoying, Actually.
( Exercise & embodiment. )

mistressofmuses

The one good thing about not being able to go on the trip with Taylor and mom was that it meant I was in town for Mark's memorial.

It was organized at one of the main goth clubs, for a couple hours before the club night itself.

There was an amazing turnout - so, so many people came out. While many are people we don't personally know, many of them are people I recognize from "back in the day," when we were out at the clubs three+ nights a week.

They set up a table with all of the merch he had left. Mostly Voicecoil, but a little bit of Gravity Corps and even some Synapse stuff. It was all "pay what you want, please just take it." We chipped in some money for the fund for his roommate, and took some shirts and stickers and things.

There was a slideshow of all the pictures of him that people had shared. They had a mic set up so that people could go up and share stories about him. Lots of people did. So many about what a colossal asshole he could be—and was, lol—but also how despite that, he was also very kind and inspirational and supportive to so many people. So many people had stories about the times they saw him when the performance was off, or at least turned down. We concluded basically every story with a hearty shared "FUCK YOU, MARK SOUSA!" toast.

(I cried. Several times.)

I think he would have loved it.

And there were plenty of jokes about how much he absolutely would have loved having so many people gathering together to focus on him. And so many people did! But it breaks my heart that he maybe didn't know how important he was to so many people.

PJ, his partner of 16 years (though they had broken up), gave us the bust of him in the picture above. She thanked us for always being such strong supporters of all of his projects, and good friends to him. Another of his friends had designed and printed the little busts. It's also how Mark would want to be remembered, ha.

I miss him, and am still having a hard time fully believing that he's gone.

The festival coming up in May replaced Voicecoil on their lineup poster, though they'll also have a memorial for him at the event. That hit me hard. As delighted as I of course was for the headliners at the festival, getting to see him as one of the openers was one of the many things I was so looking forward to. It's hard to realize that... there aren't any more Voicecoil shows. I'm so glad for all the ones we went to, all the times we did hang out with Mark at the club or at his house or after a show... but I really wish there was another. And another. And another after that. I still don't feel ready to think of the last show as the last one.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: my apartment

kaberett

I have introduced my mother to this, I have introduced the Child's household to this, I am writing it down because clearly It Is Time for me to do so.

( Read more... )

kaberett

Specifically: I find myself in possession of both a superking duvet cover and a deep fitted double sheet that are mostly Genuinely Nice Cotton... and have both got holes worn through them in one specific place.

I have accepted about myself that I am not a person who will tolerate sleeping on patched bedsheets (because Textures). I am loathe to just hand them over to rag recycling. I am scared of trying to sew anything out of them, but might manage it with some encouragement.

I would greatly appreciate people Being Opinionated on this topic.

Profile

VaginaPagina

(( VaginaPagina.com ))

February 2019

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
					1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28

(( VaginaPagina ))

34,000+ Vulva-Loving Superstars

Member Posts

Habit Tracking: Week 08 (February 15 - February 21)

some good things make a post

But where is my dopamine hit??

A plethora of stuff

vital functions

Miscellaneous pet pics:

some good things

Miss you, Mark

[food] the kale thing

what does one do with Sad Bedsheets?

Profile

February 2019

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags