Anal sex

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

I realize I just posted today, but I have another question. I hope this is alright. I looked for similar posts, however I have a bit more information/questions surrounding mine.

I am really hoping to have anal sex with my boyfriend--it's sort of a Christmas present to both of us as we've both been wanting it for a bit. Now, what I would like to know are the risks of anal sex without a condom. First and foremost I should say that we are NOT going to go from anal to vaginal and that we are both free of STDs. I'm not letting him anywhere near that until he is cleaned. What is the best way he could clean himself after anal? Also, before anal I plan on giving myself an enema. We plan on using plenty of lube too (most likely Astroglide).

Now I have had anal sex with a partner before without a condom or an enema--and I got a yeast infection a couple of times. However, that person wasn't exactly cleanly and was a bit abusive so I'd prefer not to talk about that. I am however used to the aftermath of having to death with sperm after ejaculation so that isn't really a problem.

Basically I want to know the risks and whether an enema is effective at preventing some of them. I have one last question as well--is it possible for women to orgasm from anal sex? Any first had experiences? Thanks.

Comments

[gunshotbeauty.livejournal.com]

it doesn't specifically answer your question but this is the best guide to with a bunch of links and i know tristan taormino's advice on pretty much everything is amazing so it'd be worth checking that out!

http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/buttsexbeginners

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Thank you but uh, I have some experience with my anus having had anal sex and simply from curiosity. Although, that does give me an idea in that maybe I should invest in more anal toys so that my boyfriend can play with me more without having to worry about his penis.

[pjvilar.livejournal.com]

I have two friends who have HPV as a result of unprotected sex, in one case, anal. Your boyfriend will probably need to specifically request that test from his doctor as it isn't included in a standard battery of tests.

As for the rest: http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/6074.html

Good luck!

[whowehavetofear.livejournal.com]

As far as I know, there is no HPV test for cismen. :[

[pjvilar.livejournal.com]

There is no FDA approved test for cismen. Some doctors will administer an available test method if asked, which is why it needs to be requested.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

He already has HPV from me, which I informed him I had before we started dating. HPV can also be transmitted via oral sex, which is why I warn all of my partners why I have it and let them decide whether they want to have sex or not. I am aware there are different types of HPV but I have gone to the doctor and talked about HPV testing and it appears that there is little they can do when it comes to diagnosing what sort of HPV it is unless it makes itself apparent such as genital warts (which is most likely not the kind I have as none of my partners have gotten them, and my current boyfriend does not have them) because testing for specific HPV types is expensive.

[pjvilar.livejournal.com]

Sure. So it's a non-issue for you in terms of decision making about anal sex. Thanks for the explanation.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Hopefully that wasn't too much information--I just really wish that HPV testing was more available for different types. Have either of the people you've known with HPV experienced genital warts, to your knowledge? I wasn't even aware I had HPV and neither was my first boyfriend until I went to my gynecologist.

[pjvilar.livejournal.com]

Not too much information at all! I agree on testing. One has, but only once or twice, the other never has but tested positive for it. In both cases, the person who transmitted it didn't know they had it either.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Also, with the person who had gotten HPV from anal--were they sure it was from anal? Or had they done PIV or oral beforehand? To clarify, can anal cause HPV (if you know this) or did the person already have HPV and then transmit it through anal sex?

[pjvilar.livejournal.com]

The cismale partner had HPV and transmitted to my friend through anal sex, as she has put it to me.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Oh okay, so there is probably not so much of a risk of anal causing any more than bacterial infections, in that case. Thanks so much for your help.

[x-hypatia-x.livejournal.com]

Anal cannot cause HPV--there's nothing you can do sexually that "causes" a viral infection, just things that may transmit an already-existing infection in one partner to another, and, sometimes, things that may cause a bacterial infection (like getting fecal matter into the vagina).

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I did not know that. I'm a bit ignorant about viral infections. I do understand the risks of bacterial infections.

[whowehavetofear.livejournal.com]

I've known people of all genders who could orgasm from anal sex. I can't personally, but I can't orgasm from any kind of sex [Honestly, I get a lot more turned on by giving anal with my strap-on than receiving, but whatever]. A lot of people like to use a vibrator on their clit while being penetrated, so if you're not feeling it at first, maybe try a toy?

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Hmm, thanks. I'm very excited for it, actually it's the first time I've been excited for anal sex because my boyfriend is just so loving and it's his biggest fetish and I cannot wait to give it to him. I really want to get some more toys like anal beads and whatnot (any suggestions?) so that I can get warmed up before actual penetration.

[whowehavetofear.livejournal.com]

If you're into beads, I recommend the silicone kind instead of the ones on a string. The string ones are super hard to clean once you've used them and are also known for having beads with sharp edges that can tear you up inside.

Here are a few good ones:
http://www.tantusinc.com/catalog/Closeout-Items/Beginner-Beads-Red
http://www.tantusinc.com/catalog/Closeout-Items/Advanced-Beads-Blue
http://store.babeland.com/butt-beads/flexi-felix-assorted-colors
http://www.goodvibes.com/display_product.jhtml?id=14BA13

You can usually get a coupon code if you sign up for all of these site's newsletters.

I hope you have fun! :D

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

yay thank you, especially for that recommendation about anal beads because I've been wanting to try them.

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

I'm not a woman (I'm genderqueer) but I do have a clit etc. I have orgasmed during anal sex, generally while on top, which makes it easier to grind & pace matters in a way that's conducive to climax.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

That sounds great, I'll definitely have to try being on top.

[phoenixrising6.livejournal.com]

My guy and I have anal sex semi-regularly, it's a definite possibility at any given time. I've never had an enema but I do make sure that I've been to the bathroom before we get rolling and the one time that I'd been having some "gastrointestinal upset" ;) I just said it wasn't a good idea that day and we played in other ways. As far as hygiene, he always washes as soon as he pulls out and I've only ever known him to use soap and water, altho, now that I think about it, it's the bathroom hand soap and that's antibacterial. ... hmmm... But I've never had any side effects and neither has he.

As far as orgasmic, before last week (we've been doing this some months) I would have said, it's very pleasant, I enjoy it, he enjoys it, but not orgasmic and then I actually had an orgasm. We had been playing a long while and due to the circumstances I was feeling pretty wild and keyed up, I do think it was due more to our position, my legs were locked together (crossed, you know?) and I think I was getting some friction somehow. So yes, I have to say possible but the mechanics of making it happen are something I'll be exploring in the future ;)

And finally re: toys and lubes. We use toys, I almost never enjoy them like I do flesh (hands/cock). I don't know why, I mean they're flexible, silicon (or whatever) isn't cold when it's touching you, we use plenty of lube, but there's just something about them. Maybe it's position. We use whatever's handy for lube, the good stuff, the cheap stuff, [do NOT use the "warming" stuff unless you want to hate your man for an hour or so (!! heheh)] but whatever you use, use *lots* and then add another squirt.

Hope this helps and ya'll have a fun Christmas ;)

[phoenixrising6.livejournal.com]

wow, that's interesting reading. I was really only thinking about the use of soap and water then realized the anti-bacterial properties. Has me re-thinking it's use in general now - thanks!

[gatehorse.livejournal.com]

Just an FYI because the article mentions-as far as I know, research has NOT shown to triclosan to be a contributing factor to antibiotic resistance. However, I would still worry about the developmental/carcinogenic/etc effects.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that's really interesting! I will never use warming lube again after experiencing it from a condom. My goodness was it painful.

[fallconsmate.livejournal.com]

i swear i'm not laughing at your pain but...

my daughter told me about NO WAY EVER AGAIN on the warming lube. in the dressing room at JCPenny. loudly. i about died hearing several "well, i NEVER"'s coming from other dressing rooms. she's an evil evil wretch, she is.

(died laughing, that is. she got her twisted sense of humor from me.)

[phoenixrising6.livejournal.com]

the bad/funny thing was that at first it was kind of good and then kinda not good but okay but then it just kept getting worse and worse and he was all horrified because he really thought it was going to be a good thing but there I was getting all spazzed (it's a growing burn). He was rubbing ice all over. ... it was really a funny little while and even now has me giggling again. Poor baby. He was completely freaked out =)

[lurkerwisp.livejournal.com]

Just adding my two cents here:

Also don't use "tingling" stuff for exactly the same reason.

That was such a bad night. :c

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness, I've used both. The tingling stuff kills me too. SO PAINFUL. I only use regular lube and flavored lube. I've been REALLY loving Astroglide though.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

Cleaning: Antibacterial soap, followed by some sort of genital-friendly moisturizer? I normally dislike antibacterial soap, but anal cleanup seems like the perfect place for that. The moisturizer is important because overdrying can cause cracks in the skin, which means the skin is no longer protective.

Lube: If condoms aren't in the picture, and neither are any cheap silicone toys (they contain latex), then try coconut oil! It's also a great moisturizer for the genitals. I've never used the coconut oil for anal, because we use barriers for that. But I love it as PIV lube, and have heard rave reviews of it as anal lube.

Orgasms: FWIW, I squirt with anal penetration, and can totally feel my g-spot being stimulated through the rectal walls.

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Squirt? That's really cool. Thanks for the moisturizer idea! I want to keep him as healthy as possible. The first person I had anal with it was very uncomfortable, but I was really pressured into it each time. However with my current boyfriend I am comfortable enough to have multiple orgasms during PIV which has never happened before with any other guy so I think anal will be tons of fun.

[okamikaze.livejournal.com]

Just throwing my two cents in.

I've tried coconut oil for anal and it didn't really end too well. Granted, my butt likes to pretend it's a pretty princess sometimes and ANYTHING hurts like a mother, but I found that coconut oil isn't thick enough for anal plus it absorbs into the skin eventually, so you have to reapply often. It's great for everything else, but I prefer silicone lube for anal. It's thicker, doesn't absorb, and doesn't get tacky!

And re: orgasms, I totally can come from anal. The bf is trying to figure out how to make me squirt with it. Hahaha

[shdwcat.livejournal.com]

We just use regular soap with warm water in the shower and he makes sure to pee to clean his urethra. Idk if that's enough but that's what we do. We used condoms for anal at first but then we didn't. We are exclusive and each others' first partners.

Tbh I'm the kind of person who gets super super wet, like, dripping wet (plus I hate anal when I'm not super turned on) and that's enough lube. He goes super slow which is lovely. ♥

Idk about orgasming (honestly I don't know if I orgasm during PIV or not bc I've only had clit orgasms while masturbating and maybe I just can't tell? idk), but it feels really, really good. I like it best when I'm on my stomach and he's fucking into me shallow and fast. At first it hurts bc he's kinda big, but then it starts feeling really really really good, esp when he's moving like that.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that reminds me! Cranberry pills are also effective for men when it comes to UTI resistance. OP, your partner might want to take steps to avoid UTIs. They're less likely with penises, because the length of the urethra protects the kidneys and bladder. But still, they're not fun for anyone.

[trying2recover.livejournal.com]

I have never used an enema before anal sex, but I do think it sounds like a pretty good idea to clean things up a bit. Whenever I've had anal, I've never used a condom. I haven't had any problems whatsoever. The only risks that I can think of are STDs (which you can already rule out) and anal tearing (which won't happen if you use plenty of lube).

And YESSSS you can have an orgasm from anal sex! One of the best orgasms I have EVER had was having anal sex while doing reverse cowgirl style. It also intensifies the experience if you have a vibrator to hold on your clit during the process. Sometimes I'll even have a dildo in my vagina and hold a vibrator to my clit while having anal.