Masturbation...am I doing it right?

[camembert-thief.livejournal.com]

Hi there!

I'm 17, and I recently started masturbating. [This is rather embarrassing for me to admit, but] I've had difficulty locating my clit. I know around where it is, and when I start feeling around that area with my fingers, I hit a few sensitive spots, but when I try to stimulate those spots, nothing happens. I've tried masturbating at least seven or eight times by now to no avail.

So, my questions are...how do I locate my clit? And how much stimulation does it take to climax? Because I've rubbed those sensitive spots for a good ten minutes and nothing happens. Also, how many times did you guys have to masturbate before climaxing?

Thank you so much~

Comments

[owl-eyes-4ever.livejournal.com]

It takes practice! Just experiment more, and make sure you relax. Personally I've only gotten myself off with my fingers once and it took a LOT longer than 10 minutes (though admittedly I tend to find it a little too much work so I haven't done it much), so don't stress if you haven't gotten there.

Try using other things besides your fingers. Detachable shower head set to the massage function, perhaps? ;)

[slinkslowdown.livejournal.com]

Seconding the shower head.

[dudewhatthefuuu.livejournal.com]

I think practice might be key for some people. I used to take 20 to 30 minutes to get myself off once, and now it takes maybe a minute or two each and I have several orgasms in one session. Pretty awesome.

[slinkslowdown.livejournal.com]

It took me 3-4 years of trying before I had my first orgasm at 20 years old. I'm 22 now and still can't get off with my fingers/hands--it's only happened once. Vibrators never fail me, though; 1-5 minutes and I'm done. Same goes for my shower head, it only takes me a few minutes to come.

[twisting-vine-x.livejournal.com]

Also, just as a suggestion, it's not necessarily always the clit that's the magic spot - for me, personally, I know it's the area above. I find my clit over-sensitive to the point of being uncomfortable, and I've only gotten off playing with it once, but if I'm using a finger to make circular motions right above my clit, then, well, that's my five-minute orgasm miracle. ;)

Either way, best of luck!

Edit: Also, you know that expression about the brain being one of the main sexual organs in the body? It's so true. Find whatever it is that turns you on - be it a fantasy, or a memory, or just strongly focusing on what you're doing with yourself - and focus on that. It'll help, I promise. :)

THIS^^^

[oh-naomi.livejournal.com]

Hi all, I'm new here tonight...

I didn't give myself my first orgasm until earlier this year, and I've just turned 25! I alternate between using the clit and the area just above, and fantasies are what get me over the line in five minutes or so.

Have fun! :)

Re: THIS^^^

[twisting-vine-x.livejournal.com]

Yay for almost identical five-minute masturbation routines, and for identical kick-ass icons. ;)

Re: THIS^^^

[oh-naomi.livejournal.com]

Haha yes! E-five! :D

[begintohope.livejournal.com]

Seconding the idea of the clit not necessarily being The magic button for everyone - I never stimulate mine directly because it hurts, feels uncomfortable, or just doesn't do anything for me. I alllllways stimulate it through the hood or through the inner labia.

[slantiness.livejournal.com]

^^ This!

[fashiondork.livejournal.com]

ok, this might sound obvious to you but to me it wasn't but I was a lot younger than you when I started...

are you thinking about something that really turns you on? I was trying for a really long time for no avail without thinking about anything because I was too embarrassed to think about my fantasies... I've been doing it for at least 5 years and I still don't quite know where my clit is, but as long as I'm thinking about something it just kind of works if I touch the general area.

And for some people just thinking about nothing works, or thinking about relaxing things like waterfalls or flowers (yes I have actually heard this).

[silentstep.livejournal.com]

You might also try locating your g-spot, which is on the inner wall of your vagina. I know I have a hard time orgasming from clitorital stimulation alone; vaginal stimulation might do the trick.

[camembert-thief.livejournal.com]

On the subject of vaginal stimulation, I keep my nails long. Will that damage my vagina in any way? Will it scratch the wall badly?

[owl-eyes-4ever.livejournal.com]

You'll know something's not working before you actually hurt yourself. If something doesn't feel right, don't force it.

Again, remember to relax and take it slow. When aroused the vagina can be VERY lubricated, so your nails should just slide off the walls of the vagina, rather than scrape it like they do to your naked skin. Besides, it's pretty flexible in there, and I imagine you'd have to jab in pretty hard to hurt yourself.

[knittinggoddess.livejournal.com]

Keep your nails smooth and not ragged, and you will minimize any scratching.

[gizzybiscuits.livejournal.com]

Personally I've scratched but it just burned for a short while and I haven't noticed any problems from it.

[the-bone-doctor.livejournal.com]

Gloves might come in handy here! They are super slick with lube and there's no raggedy hangnails or rough edges to scrape you.

[camembert-thief.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh! You guys are all so nice!

Thanks to all of you for your advice C:

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

It varies from person to person! Some people only like gentle stimulation over the entire vulva. Some people only like particular types of touch on their clit. And in any case you might find that fingers aren't the way to go initially, as others have said: I worked out roughly how it worked by crossing my legs tightly and tensing my thigh muscles. Took quite a lot of experimentation to get to the point of realising that might be a way to go, though, and I'd tried quite a few times and given up because the sensations got overwhelming to the point of being uncomfortable/not possible for me to keep using fingers directly.

As for the location of the clitoris, you'll probably have more luck finding it when you're already somewhat aroused such that it's erect and likely more sensitive to the touch. Oh, and here's some labelled diagrams (http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/anatomy_pink_parts_female_sexual_anatomy), just in case they might be helpful. Good luck!

[sabishii-kirito.livejournal.com]

It took me forever to get my first orgasm. I tried several times, and when I finally got it, it probably took at least twenty minutes. Now I can usually get off pretty quickly, but there are still times when it takes a while.

If you can get your hands on a vibrator, that might help. It's the only way I can get multiple clitoral orgasms, and they usually come pretty quickly.

[murf1307.livejournal.com]

I'm seventeen as well, and...well, I've been masturbating for a very long time, so here's my two cents:

I don't rub my clit itself -- I rub the hood of my clit, with the first two fingers of my left hand, in an anti-clockwise motion. And I fantasize a lot, which helps tremendously. Vaginal stimulation has always just been "meh" for me.

[emmakitty.livejournal.com]

I would definitely second the advice to relax; in my experience I always enjoy myself more when I don't focus on touching myself in a specific place, but just touching myself wherever feels good. Also I try to focus on just feeling good, but not necessarily having an orgasm. It takes some of the pressure off, helps me relax, and makes masturbation more calm. Whatever you do, just enjoy yourself!

[zebbie356.livejournal.com]

^ This!

With any sexual endeavor, relaxation and enjoyment are key. Getting there is half the fun, just let go!

P.S. Icon <3

[patchworkorange]

My most sensitive spot is along the right side of my clit. And I move the hood over that spot, almost like a "tickle" motion with the tip of my finger. I can't have a hard pressing, or a rubbing etc.

There are so many different ways to touch and some may just not work for you. I agree with the shower head..that's how I had my first orgasm.

[neffiline.livejournal.com]

Hi there!

Everyone is different, so it's really just about trying things out and trying a lot of them. And yes, it can take longer than 10 minutes.

For me, I find that using my fingers right on my skin/clit doesn't stimulate as well, so I've learned to do it ON TOP of my panties, cotton panties are best. I don't know why, it just feels softer and warmer again my skin/clit and that feels way better than fingers right away. It's the same when my boyfriend fingers me, I prefer over panties than raw against the skin.

If you find your fingers/hand are getting tired, try using an object, or even a cushion while laying on your stomach and rub against it. That could work too!

Good luck~

[shdwcat.livejournal.com]

I started masturbating when I was like twelve and I didn't know what it was, much less what a clit or an orgasm was. It just felt really good. Seeing as I didn't know what I was looking for, I had my first orgasm when I was like thirteen, so that's at least year of non-orgasmic funtimes, lol. Just do what feels nice, because sometimes REALLY WANTING THAT ORGASM makes it harder to get there for me, idek. Also might I add that you're pretty awesome for being so open about your sexuality. :)

[camembert-thief.livejournal.com]

Hehe, thanks :] I'm actually taking a huge risk posting here. If my mom found out about any of this, I can't imagine what would happen.

[bitter-suite24.livejournal.com]

I second what everyone else is saying. Relax. Fantasize. The first time I tried with my fingers it took me forever, and then I wasn't even sure I'd actually had an orgasm. It was like, "I think that was one, wasn't it? It must have been..." I switched to a vibrator, and that made things much easier. Now, if I've been fantasizing before hand, it only takes about 5 minutes. I hardly ever use my fingers anymore, but when I do it always takes longer.

[delwyncole.livejournal.com]

Pretty much seconding what everyone else has said. Everyone is different and what works for one person might not work for you.

I'm 33, started masturbating at about 13, but never reached orgasm until I was seventeen. I kept doing it because it felt good, even if I didn't climax, and I kind of think that's what's important. Just do things that feel good and don't worry about the climax. You'll probably get their eventually.

I personally find that with just fingers it can take a really long time for me to climax, especially with just clitoral stimulation. It's much faster with a vibrator or the shower head, and I get a lot out of g-spot simulation too, though I've never managed to climax just from that either.

For me, I kind of like the long slow build, though I have had my hand cramp up a time or two, because it was taking so long.

So don't worry about it. Have fun, and experiment.

[beach-justice.livejournal.com]

just on a personal note how i began masturbating and orgasming (when i was incredibly young) was humping things through my clothing like large body pillows, the side of the bed etc. i think maybe trying to figure out what feels good through your underwear or even pants as well will help because direct stimulation can be tricky. make sure you are thinking sexual thoughts and feeling turned on before even starting to touch down below, you'll be more sensitive and maybe things will be less forced once you start trying to pleasure yourself.

[windup-bird.livejournal.com]

I definitely second this.

[spain-fanatic79.livejournal.com]

Yeahhh that's exactly me. I honestly still do that, I can't get myself off by touching myself, idk why, it feels weird.

[supercrook.livejournal.com]

I masturbated exclusively by rubbing flat-handed for a long time (since 8 or 9 over here), but now I've gravitated towards something that works out better for me, which is rubbing the hood of my clit between the thumb and first two fingers of my right hand. (Now after getting used to this grip I can't masturbate with my other hand, which is a bit of a pain, but doesn't trouble me too much.) Seconding trying different grips, or a showerhead if you have access to one.

[lironess.livejournal.com]

First of all you really need to get acquainted with what is down there...

You will need a hand mirror...large one is better....and good lighting...

If your room is not bright enough have a flashlight handy. You hold the mirror down there and shine the flashlight on the mirror so that the light reflects onto the vulva. If the mirror is larger you can hold it with your thighs and then move things around with your hand that is not holding the flash light.

The clit will be pretty much hiding in the skin at the top. If you gently pull back just under the mound you may be able to see the hood better...if you pull back the hood you will see a tiny lump which is the clit itself.

Second thing...always use some kind of lube when you are touching your clit or around it. It can get abraded and sore without it. It will also feel better.

For me direct clitoral stimulation is WAY to much. It is very very sensitive. When you feel around it you can feel the shaft just above and that is what I rub...with lube...through the skin of the hood.

For me masturbation is not likely to give me an orgasm, but it still feels good. You could try a vibrator too but those do nothing for me either...

[greenpoeticeye.livejournal.com]

I totally second the lube advice. It can make all the difference sometimes.

[mystofthestars.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned before, but you should as well try out different positions. I remember that at the start it was much easier and faster for me to reach my orgasm when I masturbated while sitting on a chair, while it took so much longer when I was laying down.
Don't be scared to experiment: try laying belly up or down, laying on your side, sitting, standing, your legs open or closed, arching your back... it might take a while before you find out what works best for you, but don't be discouraged :)

[begintohope.livejournal.com]

If you feel comfortable watching porn online, try going on a website like YouPorn & searching for a variety of stuff that you think might turn you on - cunnilingus? gay boys? women masturbating? When you start to feel your body responding & wanting stimulation, you might find that anything you do after that is more effective.

Above all, don't psych yourself out by placing too much importance on orgasm. Just do what feels good & see what happens, without having high expectations or making demands of yourself. You probably wouldn't respond well to a lover who was that demanding, so don't be that way with yourself either!

[abovepoetics.livejournal.com]

Be gentle, be present, get into it - and my girlfriend's advice? Hold your breathe. (... obviously with safety in mind)

[spain-fanatic79.livejournal.com]

It's weird, but I started when I was really young and I didn't even know what I was doing until very recently. I never touch myself, I just hump pillows and stuff. I've tried, but I just can't get off like that *shrugs* it's different for everybody.

me, I have random things that turn me on, like biting. Not gonna lie, I'm a huge fan of Spanish soccer and some of those guys...unf. I have a huge fetish for boys in Spain jerseys and other soccer jerseys.

I say all that to say, find your thing and you'll come to enjoy it.

And thanks for posting, this is my first time posting a comment here too :D

[camembert-thief.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know what my fetishes are and what turns me on. But for some reason, when I try to fantasize while touching myself, I just can't. My brain doesn't want to do both at the same time. Like, when I start fantasizing, my hand stops moving. And when my hand moves, I can't fantasize.

I don't know, maybe it's just sensory overload. I'll try some other way of touching myself and see if it works.

[exoticway.livejournal.com]

I can never get myself off with just fingers. A vibrator can work wonders, or the shower head. Mostly its just about trying different things until you hit on something that works for you. Good luck!

[death-hendry.livejournal.com]

Wooo boy. There's a looot fo spots than can do the trick, and sometimes the effectiveness of them depends on what mood you're in from day to day.

My clit used to be more sensitive. Now I get a cheap thrill, but rubbing it really gets me nowhere. Sometimes it's very sensitive, othertimes it's like you describe, don't get much out of it, kinda dull. I've been going at it since i was about 7, because I have hormone imbalance wierdness which i assume is what gave me an oddly early fascination for this kinda stuff.
You may well need toys to get off. I think the one time I managed it with fingers, it was severely disappointing.

I relise since you're 17, you probably cant just waltz into an adult store that easily and get yourself a toy. I suggest finding a plush toy (one of those cheap novelty ones, sometimes there are cat toys that have these) that has a pull string mechanical weight vibrator in it. You can take the thing out, they usually aren't very big, and when no one's home to hear it, try using that.
I had one of those for nearly 10 years, and it was my old faithful utnil it finally bit the dust, by which time I was old enough and cashed up enough to go buy stuff from an adult store.

If clit doesn't do it for you, you can try spreading the skin above and stimulating the shaft there, or playing around the labia, etcetc.
And if you find pushing anything inside your vagina to be uncomfortable, so long as it's not painful, persist with getting it used to touch, cause once it is, it makes getting off easier as well sometimes. The frontal area of the vulva can feel really awesome sometimes when stimulated in tandem with the clitoris. Like everyone else says, it's a matter of relax and explore really.

Also, if you need some 'inspiration', the safest pronz source i know is Newfapchan.org . I have never gotten attacked by malicious software there, nor are the people on there particularly bad. I seriously wish this site had existed when I was a teen. Just dont click on video links, I don't trust downloads, but the pictures are all fine.

[deanna martin (from livejournal.com)]

All men and woman should be using "fleshlighttoys.com" for masturbating, I can never understand why most people are sexual repressed