Yet another pre-cum question.

[tool007.livejournal.com]

Hi. I recently found this community during some browsing and since it pretty much relates to what I want to be enlightened on, I decided to join.

So, this is it:

Aprox. one week ago, my girlfriend and I were on my bed, "playing" (read: masturbating) with each other. At some point, she said she was ready for her first time, so I put on TWO condom and we did it. Since it was pretty dark, she had to take my penis into her vagina. Didn't last very long. Not because I came, but due to her having quite some pain and wanting to stop. So, I didn't ejaculate inside her (even if some pre-cum was laying around the condom, I suppose it didn't get out since the base is very tough, as if squeezing the penis and it had yet another base (for the second condom) after the first one; plus, I only went in and out four or five times).
Now, two days ago she told me she hadn't realized it at the moment, but before we did it, she had a bit of pre-cum on her hand and was unsure about wheter or not it dried while she was undressing (by touching her clothes and so)... We thought it might be dangerous, since her hand had to touch the vagina during intercourse.

What do you think?

Also, after that, actually, 3 days ago, we had sex again. It all went well. I used two condoms in the first day (I was kind of scared) and one in the second. During the first day (I didn't cum inside her, I was a little shy...), when I used two condoms, I noticed some pre-cum was laying around the condom. Same thing happened the next day, where I started using only one.
I thought it was normal, seeing I followed the panflet which comes with the condoms and teaches how to put one on. However, since, with the thrusts, the condom moves, I started to feel frightened due to the pre-cum moving around and near the base of the condom. Again, I know there is quite some pressure applied by the base and also, I didn't see anything come out (I'm talking about a small amount of pre-cum), but, even so, we decided she would take the Next Morning Pill. So, these two times we had sex were on a Saturday night and a Sunday afternoon. She took the Morning Pill at around 12A.M. on Monday, just before lunchtime. I guess this solves mine and her fears on having seen the pre-cum laying around on the condoms I wore, even without ejaculating inside her.

However, what about the week before, when we had our first time? If pre-cum was laying around on the condom this weekend, it must have been so as well the other week when we started having sex.

This, together with the first referred and described event kind of scares me... ok, a lot. Even more since she is very irregular (and from August to December 2006, her period skipped) and if it were regular, her period should have appeared the Friday before we had sex for the second time - and didn't. This frightens me even more. There is no way for now to tell wheter or not she is indeed pregnant, is there?

This situation is really heavy for both of us, seeing we're only teenagers (both 17)...

Can anyone give their opinion on this matter? I'm pretty sure she would not get pregnant from the intercourse this weekend, since, even if there was something wrong with the condoms, she took the Next Morning Pill a day and a half after the first encounter. What worries me is what happened on our first time.

Thank you for reading all of this. I hope you can leave a word or two on the subject...

Comments

[mind-on-fire.livejournal.com]

Do NOT use two condoms! The friction of the rubber on rubber can actually cause both condoms to break. Just a friendly piece of advice :)

[nildro.livejournal.com]

Well, for starters, you should only use one condom and you should put it on the second you become fully erect. That's just for future reference.

As to your current predicament... I'm having trouble understanding exactly what happened but it sounds unlikely that she's pregnant. A lot of things can delay a woman's period. Stress....a new diet, pretty much anything. Go to the pharmacy and get her a bottle of bubble bath, a chocolate bar and, just in case, a pregnancy test.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

First:

When you're using a condom, DO NOT BY ANY MEANS USE MORE THAN ONE AT A TIME! It's a common myth that lots of people like to "double-bag it", in hopes that "if one breaks, the other will hold." This could not be more false, and has probably been the cause of the spread of some STDs and some unwanted pregnancy. All "double-bagging it" will do is INCREASE the chance of BOTH condoms breaking, because neither will be able to handle the other rubbing against it each time you thrust in. (http://www.teenpuberty.com/index.php?section=male&page=condoms)

and

In fact, "double-bagging" increases the likelihood that the condom will break or slip off during intercourse. (http://www.madison.com/communities/ccse/pages/SexMyths.php?php_page_set=0)

And also: It is possible for pre-ejaculate to contain semen, but it's rare, and it's not very likely to cause pregnancy. The tiny bit that might have been on her hand that might have touched her vulva (it only touched her vagina if it went inside, which it might have done) was unlikely to cause pregnancy.

A test can tell whether she's pregnant a couple or three weeks after you had intercourse, but it's pretty unlikely even without the morning-after pill. If you're going to keep having intercourse, though, and don't quite trust condoms, she should talk to her doctor about other forms of birth control.

[h0rsegurrrl.livejournal.com]

I agree, do not use two condoms. They are actually more likely to break this way. The pre-cum around the base of your penis doesn't sound possible if the condom was on correctly, so this was likely your girlfriend's lubrication. Since no ejaculate was involved in any of the acts, it's quite unlikely that she's pregnant.

[sandi1743.livejournal.com]

ECP should only be taken when needed. ECP can either make a period come sooner, later, or will seem to have no effect on the woman's cycle. also, as stated by others, you should not use two condoms as doing that makes it more likely that there will be an issue with breakage.
if she is having issues with her cycles being regular, then she should see a doctor about it as manytime that issue can be fixed by HBC - which would also add an extra layer of protection against pregnancy when used with the condoms. FYI: pregnancy tests can start to be used 14 days after sex if a female still has not gotten her period and is worried about being pregnant.

[starzysky.livejournal.com]

I just have to reiterate the DON'T USE TWO CONDOMS thing. That's a higher risk of breakage b/c of the increased friction.

Pre-cum...YES, theoretically, there are some sperm in pre-cum, and it only takes one to get pregnant. It happens. It's just very difficult, especially w/ correct condom usage (i.e. put one on before you even go near her), to get pregnant that way--b/c there are so few sperm. Based on what you've said I could say I'm 99% sure she's not pregnant. But you are right to be careful regardless.

Since you guys are SO freaked out about pregnancy, it's great that you're being careful & trying to find out this info. She might want to look into getting on birth control. It'll regulate her periods & protect you both from an unwanted pregnancy. If she's not ready to tell her parents she's having sex, she could just say she has really irregular periods & would like to get on birth control so they're more predictable.

It could also help both of you to read up a little about sexual health and reproduction, since you're both newly sexually active. It might ease your fears if you learn about the anatomy, physiology, how birth control & other methods of contraception work, etc.

[starzysky.livejournal.com]

Ok I just want to emphasize more stuff--

1) If you guys read about reproduction & stuff it might make you trust condoms more. If you feel you can rely on condoms and use them correctly 100% of the time, that's great. If not, taking the "morning after pill" every time she is the tiniest bit afraid is not a good idea!

2) So if you guys are still freaked out about just using condoms, and you find that you're wanting to use the morning after pill frequently, then she should definitely be on birth control. Then you can still use condoms (though it's not completely necessary if she's taking the pill correctly) and hopefully you can relax.

[chibiluv.livejournal.com]

The risk of pre ejaculate spilling over the base of the condom is quite small. Were these lubricated condoms? It is quite possible that the sliding, liquid sensation that you felt was from lube that was applied inside the condom. I suggest waiting a few days to a week, and buying a pregnancy test just to be sure and to give yourself some relief.

It sounds like you and your girlfriend are pretty worried about the risks of pregnancy, and I can't blame you. I suggest getting her on birth control to at least regulate her period; or if that is not an option, try buying condoms with spermicidal lubricant and looking into other birth control options such as a diaphram. There are lots of links about birth control in the VP archives and FAQ that are extremely helpful.

Since you two are just starting out on your sexual journey together, I'd like to recommend the book "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides (goofyfootpress.com). It's fun and informative, and is really great for answering all those "how tos" and "What ifs" that pop up all the time. Best of luck to you!

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

"... try buying condoms with spermicidal lubricant..."

Just as a quick note, this section (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=Non-Hormonal_Birth_Control#Spermicide) of the Vulvapedia mentions that the World Health Organization no longer recommends condoms with spermicidal lubricant already on them. Essentially, they're no more effective than condoms without spermicide; they are, however, still more effective than no condom at all. ;)

[chibiluv.livejournal.com]

Thankyou, I was unaware of that.

[persephani.livejournal.com]

some of the comments read to me like they imply that if you don't trust condoms, your girlfriend needs to be on the pill. i just wanted to point out the other forms of birth control: barriers such as a diaphram, spermicidal foams, etc. Most of these can be used with a condom, and don't have hormones that can have negative side effects.

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

Very good point. Though all forms of contraception -- not just hormones -- have both benefits and drawbacks, hormonal birth control is by far not the only backup method that works with condoms. The OP might want to look into VP's Vulvapedia entries on non-hormonal birth control (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=Non-Hormonal_Birth_Control) and on hormonal birth control (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=Hormonal_Birth_Control) for a full range of options. :)

i think i'll try to help :]

[xbreakurfacex.livejournal.com]

in my expertise' lol, pre-cum does not include semen only if you havent peed before the last time you came. (aka the night before, you jacked off and then you didn't pee all day) however, that is unlikely so you really have nothing to worry about.

oh and dont use two condoms. it breaks more easily & make sure you either get lubricated condoms and/or lube. me and my boyfriend bought some and it works wonders. & if she took the EC, tell her to watch closely for her period if it doesn't come in a month after you take the EC pill CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY

hope everything turns out well.

Happy trails :]

(frozen)

[http://users.livejournal.com/___figurine/]

you used two condoms at once?
i'm trying so hard not to be a bitch about this.

(frozen)

[wish-babe.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but.. why is that comment even necessary? The poster is looking for friendly advice. He is only 17. Maybe his school doesn't have the wonderful sex education some other schools have. You don't know if he even HAD any sex education. He was just trying to protect his girlfriend from becoming pregnant and doing what he thought was best.

(frozen)

[laurenoid.livejournal.com]

Safe space. Safe space!!

(frozen) Maintainer Note -- Safe Space Warning

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

Hi, __figurine. I'm writing on behalf of the VP Team to express concern that the attitude and/or wording above do not foster what we consider safe space (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_is_.22Safe_Space.22.3F) in this community. Specifically, we are concerned that when you say, "you used two condoms at once? i'm trying so hard not to be a bitch about this," it judges the OP for something he did not already know. While it's perfectly acceptable to provide correct information to a VP member, it's not okay to do so in a way that belittles that person.

Please consider this a warning as well as a friendly reminder to take this opportunity to review VP's policies. You can find more information on safe space (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_is_.22Safe_Space.22.3F) in our FAQ (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ), as linked here:

--What are VP's rules? (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_are_the_rules.3F)
--What is "safe space"? (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_is_.22Safe_Space.22.3F)
--What do you mean by "empowerment" and why is it important in VP? (http://www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=VaginaPagina_FAQ#What_do_you_mean_by_.22empowerment.22_and_why_is_it_important_in_VP.3F)

You are more than welcome to make a post over in contact_vp or to contact us via email (http://www.vaginapagina.com/contact.php) If you'd like to talk more about this matter or clarify any points; we only ask that you refrain from commenting further here out of respect for the OP. For that reason, replies to this thread will be frozen.

Thanks!
Tori
For the VP Team (http://www.vaginapagina.com/contact.php)
contact_vp

[laurenoid.livejournal.com]

You've gotten some wonderful responses to your questions, so I'll just chime in to say KUDOS to you for feeling comfortable asking questions and trying to educate yourself. It's unfortunate that I feel a bit surprised when I see a man (especially a younger man) taking a real active interest in sexual health, but I just wanted to acknowledge it. Best of luck to you and your partner.

[wish-babe.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure you've already had it beaten into your head not to use 2 condoms at once. I know that in theory it sounds good, but like said above, it can actually make it easier for condoms to break/come off. So, now you know that! :) Anyways, from what I've read in the past, pre-cum does not have a very high sperm count. As far as I can see, I think that she was just worried about getting pregnant (being her first time and being 17) and she stressed her body into skipping her period. I think it happens to a lot of girls. Like posters above said, ANYTHING can cause a skipped period. One time, an antibiotic that I had an allergic reaction to caused me to skip a period. So, as you can see, they are tricky things! I really don't think you should be worried. I hope you both have great weeks! :D

[tool007.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all the enlightening responses!

Yeah, I now know better not to use two condoms at the same time :p I only did that two times, though. One on our first time, where there was really almost no action (as I said, I only went in and out some 4-5 times, seeing she was on some serious pain) and the other on the weekend whereafter she took the Next Morning Pill.

By the way, as stated, she has an irregular period. Does this, in any way, come in the way of the Morning Pill's effects?

Oh, and we've decided to attend a Planed Parenthood session on our local health center so she begins taking the pill.

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

"By the way, as stated, she has an irregular period. Does this, in any way, come in the way of the Morning Pill's effects?"

If you mean that she had an irregular cycle before taking EC (the morning after pill), then no, it won't impair the effectiveness of the medication. All it might mean is that -- since she ovulates irregularly -- it would have been more difficult to predict when she had ovulated or was going to ovulate this cycle. Because of this unpredictability, it might actually mean it was a bit better to take EC than not to take it since you weren't sure of whether she was fertile at that time or not, kind of like a "better safe than sorry" thing.

[imnotyourstarx.livejournal.com]

first burning thought: one condom at a time! the friction caused by thrusting can cause the condoms to rip each other, so youre actually getting more protection from one condom versus two.

ok. i know exactly what youre talking about since my partner and i had similar concerns when we lost our virginity last year. the condom will move a little on you, but it shouldnt fall off even if it might feel like it sorta is. condoms work pretty well - i mean, they are made for that sort of thing. :D

after our first time i was convinced that the condom did not work and was on edge all month until my period came. i went on the patch soon after my period started. if you dont trust condoms i would talk to her about hormonal methods for her. i am a HUGE fan of the patch, personally.

also - precum. well, people here will tell you its POSSIBLE to get pregnant from precum, but its not very likely. be that as it may, i would still try to be as careful as possible. put a condom on as soon as youre hard and you should be ok.

[imnotyourstarx.livejournal.com]

....aaaaaand i just realized that you responded to all the above comments, so, yeah... sorry to beat a dead subject.

but a word on the morning after pill: plan b "reboots" a womans system, so she wouldnt get her period at her normal time (if she had one), and thus her whole cycle (her period, when she ovulated) would be rearranged. the morning after pill will work no matter how regular or irregular her periods are.

[mei-no-ninja.livejournal.com]

Being 17 myself and just recently having sex with my boyfriend for the first time (he's a year older), I can understand the paranoia. But honestly, you sound a little [i]too[/i] freaked out. I'm thinking maybe you guys shouldn't have sex if you're so afraid. After all, no matter how you justify it, no matter how much protection you use, sex is for reproduction. Keep that in mind.

I'm not trying to scare you off or anything. :) By all means, if you think you are ready and mature enough to be having sex (and you're the only accurate judge of that) go ahead. But I strongly urge you to read up about your bodies and how they work, reproductive-wise. I think that will ease your mind and help you understand better. Like recommended above, find out about the different methods of birth control as well. If you can, see if you can get the birth control pill. It's more effective than just using condoms, and if you use condoms in addition to the pill, that puts the odds of pregnancy at about 3/1000. (I think.)

Hope I helped, and hope all goes well for you. :D