natural lube & elusive orgasms

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

I'm 18 and have been with my partner for two years. We are very open with each other and comfortable doing and saying anything with/to each other. We've always been satisfied in our sex life.

So here's the problem:
I can't seem to make natural lube anymore. In the beginning, we just had booty calls so I could "rev myself up" for sex and be ready by the time he came to pick me up. But now we are dating and living together so sex happens whenever and I can never get wet enough for penetration without assistance. Is there anyway I can enhance my lubrication making abilities?

And here's problem number two:
I have had a million billion orgasms. But I've never had one with my lover (or any other partner I've had). He does everything- the man has performed oral sex for almost an hour to no avail. It feels good, and sometimes I start to feel the build, but then he'll shift position or my mind will wander and I'll lose it. The majority of the times I orgasm, I am masturabating in the shower. But I know that isn't the only time I can because I've woken myself up due to climaxing in my sleep. As you can imagine, this is very frustrating. Any advice?


Thank you all in advance, I've been watching this community for ages and you guys are wonderful.

Comments

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure there's anything you can do to increase the amount of natural lubrication, beyond increasing the amount of foreplay. Do you masturbate before sex? It might help, since you seem to know what you like. If that doesn't work, though, that's okay. Are you on hormonal birth control? That can change the amount of lubrication your body produces.

There are many high-quality lubes out there. Some people prefer silicone, others prefer water-based (like Liquid Silk, which works well for me). Glycerin lubes like KY work for some people and exacerbate yeast infections in others. There's a ton of different options, and since you're 18 you should be able to check out your local adult stores for a wide variety. If you don't have anything like that in the area, drugstores have a basic selection of lubes, too.

Do you orgasm outside of the shower and when you aren't asleep? If not, you may start by masturbating and figuring out what works for you, and then trying to relay that to your partner. You might also try using a vibrator, or making sure to engage in clitoral stimulation while having intercourse. This may be something you just need to experiment with and try different things. And always make sure you let him know when something feels good and when you're just getting bored, because girly bits are tricky and what feels good changes day by day or hour by hour.

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the advice. I am on hormonal bc (ortho tricyclen lo) but I've never been able to make an adequate amount of lube without decades of foreplay. I don't orgasm outside of the shower, when I'm awake, but that's not for lack of trying. I get close to orgasm on my own, but it's like sex- feel the build, then it dissapears. Thank you again, though, and when I'm finally off my period, I'll put your advice to good use.

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

I forgot to add, for the most part, clitoral stimulation for sex isn't much of an option for the two of us, as my boyfriend is a big guy, and my fingers don't stay where I put them once the thrusting gets going (which is quite hazardous with long nails! eep).

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

If you enjoy sex on your sides while facing the same direction, or doggy-style, in those positions it's relatively easy for the guy to reach around and work on your clitoris. You could also try a vibe on yourself, which would eliminate the scares of long fingernails. :) My boyfriend's big too -- a foot and two inches taller and nearly twice as heavy as I am, lol. *points to icon* It's pretty funny, but somehow, it works, possibly by defying the laws of physics.

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

Wow you and I have the same exact proportions, height wise, to our -boyfriends. Except mine is 275-280 lbs, which is well over twice my weight.
I heart your icon :)

I know what you mean, defying the laws of physics. Have you attempted standing-up sex? It's possible, but can have potentially hilarious issues involved.

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I think my boy is similar in weight to yours, and I'm 140 so that's just about 2x as much. Thanks! I heart it too, hehe. :)

Ehhh, we haven't really attempted it, lol. I used to have a really tall bed and he could stand while I lay on it, but both of us standing hasn't worked out, since his penis hits above my belly button when we stand in front of each other, hahaha. Do you wear massive heels? Or stand on chairs/telephone books/stairs? I *would* like to try it, I'm just not sure how, heh.

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

LOL, same situation. No phone book. I just stand on my tip toes (really, I could make a ballerina jealous) for the whole feat and bend over (it's kind of doggy style ish...except my hands aren't supporting me). You'll get really awesome calves.

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

Oh! Yes, we've done that one, or at least a variation where I'm over a counter or couch or something. I was thinking of standing but face-to-face... Joy of Sex says it's doable, and I would love to be able to look down and actually see the action going on, hehe, but unless I get stripper heels (like 6 inches or higher) I don't see it happening, sadly.

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

I really don't think my boyfriend and I could ever accomplish that...just way too many size issues that even stripper heels can't fix.

You should get this book, I forget the title, but it's got 52 position from the kama sutra- one for every week. Some of them are just rediculous, and the titles are awesome. Think "flying white tiger" and "archemedes' screw."

[borghalrantipol.livejournal.com]

This thing is wonderful. Seriously. (http://www.sextoys.co.uk/Cock-Rings/Rockin-Rabbit.asp) If you can't find that one specifically at your local "toy store", there are quite a few other similar products on the market, check them out.

Good luck.

[iguanasdefuego.livejournal.com]

That looks intimidating and exhilerating at the same time ^_^ as soon as I get a job, my first paycheck may just be blown at a sex shoppe... Now to hide all the naughty things from the room mate...