Trouble lasting

[glait.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to ask this for awhile, does anyone have any advice or tips for me. My problem is that I cum way to fast, like five minutes and its over, if I was a guy I'd be a premature ejaculator for sure. And to top it off, my boyfriend is more like the sterotypical woman, taking a long time to climax. We've tried varying it up and still, I don't last long. Any suggestions would be awesome or does anyone else have this problem?

Comments

[ilikemytie.livejournal.com]

You haven't said what the problem is. Are you absolutely exhausted beyond further activity by your early orgasm or what? The amazing thing about the woman's body is that we're capable of multiple orgasms.

You've probably tried it all before, but you can try just pleasuring him (orally or manually) and keeping away from really, really stimulating yourself until you get some good headway (so to speak) on approaching your b/f's orgasm.

[misslynn.livejournal.com]

i don't know about you, but i can generally keep going for three or four orgasms. you certainly don't have to stop at one! therefore, i, too, am unclear as to why this is a problem.

[sweetseadragon.livejournal.com]

Possibly TMI...

I can get aroused and finish very quickly, so I sympathize.

Personally, PIV sex doesn't feel good after I orgasm (and I climax from PIV sex), so I make sure to do other things to delay. I try to go very slowly and really take my time enjoying foreplay. Once I find myself getting highly aroused, I'll give my husband oral sex and spend a lot of time focusing on him which allows me to cool off a little bit. He also takes a while to finish, so the oral sex (or occasionally just hands) really helps him a lot. Then when we're both ready for PIV it's a matter of finding the right position (one that won't make me cum too fast).

So, I think maybe spending extra time on your bf might help.

I'm sure many people will disagree with me, but as for the multiple orgasms thing, I think *some* women are capable of it and others are not. Judge as you will, but as a long time listener of Love Line, I've heard Dr. Drew state a number of times that some women are multi-orgasmic and some are not. I don't know specifically where he gets his information from, but according to him, you cannot make a non-multi-orgasmic women (as in a woman who would orgasm once during sexual stimulation) into a woman who can have many. At least for me, I have to go at least 20-30 minutes before attempting to have another orgasm after I've already had one. Often times the second one is less intense/fulfilling and I'd just rather not even bother.

[maggiewatchie.livejournal.com]

i'm the same way, although my resting time is a bit shorter. this after years of trying to multiple, both alone (trying various things) and with a partner (also trying various things).

[sarahsvati.livejournal.com]

I have this "problem" but for me the solution is that I just keep orgasming. I'm not sure if you've tried this, but it is perfect for me! (And is really the opposite of a problem.)

So like everyone else, I too am not sure what the problem is here. Are you too sensitive after coming to do anything sexual? Otherwise you could just continue having sex with your boyfriend and keep orgasming if you feel like it...

[dollunderglass.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately the only advice I have it to a) have a few drinks or b) think about Wilford Brimley.

[cailin-t.livejournal.com]

are you really disinterested after the first orgasm? because if not, there's no reason you can't keep going.. it's not like a premature ejaculation on a guy, because often that makes him soft, and therefor, incapable of having sex.. what happens to you that makes this a big problem? :/

[wannabegoddess.livejournal.com]

I presume you're not comfortable after orgasming (I get twitchy and can hardly be touched let alone had sex with for about 15 minutes after). This is what I do: lots of foreplay that won't get me close (oral/manual sex for him, sensual massage for me) and helping him after I finish (although sometimes I feel a need to curl up in fetal position next to him). Also, sometimes relaxing your vaginal muscles when you notice you're getting close can delay it a bit (or at least it does for me).
My boyfriend doesn't actually mind this trait since it's easier for him to tell that I'm satisfied.

[autumn-sylver.livejournal.com]

As someone who takes an incredibly long amount of time to orgasm during sex, I'm hard pressed to see this as an actual "problem". If the problem is that you just can't go on after you've had an orgasm, then yes, that is a problem, but you weren't very specific.

[glait.livejournal.com]

Sorry for not being more specific, yes I get way to sensitive down there to go on. I've tried experiementing by myself with masturbation and even then, I can get a secound orgasim. I like the idea of consentrating on foreplay and the blowjob/hands idea. I will give it a try next time I see my boy :)

[starryeyesxx.livejournal.com]

i have this problem as well...

(i cant add much, i think that the other girls did a fine job of offering advice and i concur)

but just lettin ya know youre definitely NOT alone in this one!

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

I have the same problem, and yes, I really do see it as a problem.

Foreplay aside, my partner's ideal time for intercourse is probably 40-50 minutes. Mine is more like 10-20 minutes.

After an orgasm, even a "weak" one, there is a period of time where I pretty much can't stand to have my genitals touched.

What's worked pretty well for my partner and me is something like this:

-- PIV sex for X amount of minutes, until I orgasm or until I get bored (yes, I sometimes get bored during sex)
-- then me pulling away from him and performing fellatio (other ways of "teasing" also work here)
-- when I'm sufficiently "desensitized," more PIV sex, generally until we both orgasm