Vagina? Lesbian anyone?

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

I want to clear up some things that I had asked a new member who happens to be a fabulously patient and kind person.

I asked her if she was a true lesbian.

I want to elaborate on that, just for a minute.

No one should ever have to prove how much of a lesbian they are. Right? I totally agree that no one but You can decide what you would like to call yourself in regards to your sexuality.

But does your vagina know?

I mean, if you are the type of lesbian that cannot get turned on mentally by a man, is your vagina gonna know, and is it gonna be more tense?

In the same aspect, if you're a lesbian who can also enjoy sex with men, mentally and physically, is your vagina down with penis?

Does your vagina have a direct link with your brain when it comes to this stuff, and does it have more say in how you feel about having sex than we ever thought?

One time I "did stuff" with a guy. I mean, nothing involving vaginal sex, but other stuff. And although my body was aroused, my brain was not. Im a lesbian, and have known this for a long time. So I know that I could probably have sex with a guy, and I could probably be turned on. But I think my vagina might put up a stink. It might tighten, tense up and not let the penis in. It might scream in pain afterwards. Is this possible?

Thanks for your comments, in advance.

Comments

[purplepants.livejournal.com]

i'd say that one's vagina does not determine their sexual orientation, nor does it reaction warrant a sexual orientation. my girlfriend can't stand penis-vagina intercourse, or penetration of any kind, due to vagina problems...and she's bi.

my thoughts on the gender issue are such..and are really just some thoughts. if one defines their sexual orientation on strictly a person's physical being, meaning they have male or female sex organs...does that validate being what sexual orientation one is or not? meaning, is it superficial to be attracted souly on what one finds physically attractive? or is it something else, like energy, the elusive 'space', etc? don't know if i'm making sense...and i know i'm going way off topic..so i shall stop..

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

But is it possible that your vagina can know what your sexual preference is, and rebel against anything else, such as in the lesbian sex worker whose vagina gets irritated when she has intercourse?

Basically the question I posed was how much does your vagina really know?

[dreamfireflame.livejournal.com]

I think what you are saying is possible, but I also think it is connected with your brain. I believe in a range of sexuality, with complete heterosexuality at one end, and complete homosexuality at the other. So if a person is a type of lesbian who can physically have sex with a man, but not enjoy it so much, she's more bisexual with strong female tendencies to me. In that respect, since she prefers females, she is probably not going to have a happy vagina after the sex because it wasn't exactly what she prefers (especially the lady that posted earlier.. besides, being a sexual worker, I don't think your vagina would be happy anyway).
Personally, I am bi with strong male tendencies. I could fall in love and be with a woman, but not just any woman type thing if I were to truly be able to respond to her.

Right. I rambled about my theories and I don't know if I made sense.

Re:

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

I think I kind of get what you are saying...Most people dont feel the same way about men as they do about women and vice versa so in my opinion I guess a bisexual persons vagina wouldnt have much of a problem handling penis, but what your saying is that its possible if she has a stronger tendency towards females.

Thats confusing huh?

An easier way to put it is, no matter what a woman's sexuality, the closer she leans towards lesbian, the harder it will be for her to deal with penis. Hm?

[dreamfireflame.livejournal.com]

Well.. yes.

This might be TMI, but if I try to masturbate while thinking of any random female, my vagina doesn't respond very well. If i think of those I've had crushes on before.. i respond much more.

I think part of it is the whole arousal thing.. physically your body arouses with most touches.. but your brain doesn't get as aroused, and thus affects your physical experiences.. being female, that affects how your vagina reacts and functions.

[isolt.livejournal.com]

Personally, I am bi with strong male tendencies. I could fall in love and be with a woman, but not just any woman type thing if I were to truly be able to respond to her.

Being a lesbian doesn't mean that you could fall in love with *any* woman... it means that when you fall in love, the odds are almost certain that your beloved will be a woman - Just as being straight doesn't mean wanting to sleep with any man who happens by, but that when you fall in love, it will most likely be with a man.

So, I guess I'm saying - of *course* you won't get turned on by just any woman. That's normal.

I am a very picky bisexual. I can still count the number of people I've genuinely wanted to sleep with on both hands - because being bi doesn't mean that I'm attracted to 50% more people or that I'll sleep with anyone.

[velmaodella.livejournal.com]

I'm bi and damn picky. The idea that bisexuals get more action is so silly to me. It just makes the pool bigger... no gaurentees that water's any easier to swim in.

Re:

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

HAHA Yes I totally agree. Although I am not bisexual I dont think that bisexuals have a greater choice of sex partners, its just no longer about gender

[purplepants.livejournal.com]

so i'm reading this as does your vagina control you or do you control your vagina? i know, for myself, i have my preferences with regards to the physical..and i also know that i fall in love with a brain, regardless of boobs, penises or vaginas. my vagina knows and feels how i like it to feel...

[4hour-ramona.livejournal.com]

see, i'm wondering about considering the vagina as a separate entity. one's sexual response is a whole body issue, and if you are in a position you ar enot comfortable with, for whatever reason - political, emotional, gender oriented, whatever - your whole body will react (or not) in accordance.

Re:

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

Thats also true. And the vagina also responds. I was basically wondering if the vagina responded at all. Because, when Im uncomfortable there are parts of me that DONT react to that

My buck fiddy

[bookgrrrl.livejournal.com]

Here's what I think: I self-identify as lesbian or queer. I have never had sex w/ a man, only women.

However- (isn't there always a however??) There are certainly a variety of things that turn me on. Personally, I find gay male porn flicks or erotic fiction hot. (figure that one out). I also find very effeminate men, and dirty hippy boys attractive. I don't see myself ever having sex w/ a man, not neccissarily because I can't get aroused by men, but because I can't see myself ever having the combination of brains,heart,and body that I need to become intimate w/ someone. (not to mention the fact that I'm in a mutually monogamous relationship w/ a woman that I hope lasts until I breathe my last breath).

Also- I think that one needs to be aware that lesbian sex doesn't necissarily mean non-penetrative (is that a word!?!) sex. I know lots of dykes, myself included, that enjoy penetration as a part of their sexual behaviors. Does my vagina know it's a woman? Nah, my vagina is cool, but my brain controls her.

And finally- I think that sexuality is incredibly fluid and that we need to respect that fluidity in ourselves and others.

So- am I a "true" lesbian? I don't like the connotation of "true"... Is a lesbian who has never had sex w/ a woman any less a lesbian? I don't think so. Is a woman who has had male partners and is now in a relationship w/ a woman any less a lesbian? Not if that's how she self-identifies. Is a MtF transgendered person who is in a relationship w/ a woman any less a lesbian, nope, not to me...

It's all about self-identity to me, I'm not the great judge of sexuality, people can do that for themselves, and I should respect it.

Sorry for blathering on... i hope I made sense.

Re: My buck fiddy

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

I dont really think that there is a way to define sexuality at all. But, say that someone is lesbian enough to not want a penis in her, is her vag gonna clench up?

I too enjoy the penetration part of sex, but my girlfriend's hands are not only small, but non-forceful, poseable and a totally different shape than a penis. I think a vagina DOES know that its a penis or someone's hand. Also, if the person is lesbian enough to have the thought of penis entering her vagina disturb her, is her vagina gonna be too happy about it?

Re: My buck fiddy

[bookgrrrl.livejournal.com]

I have a real problem with the phrase "lesbian enough".

Honestly, in the case in which you are referring (lesbian sex worker) I think that she has an allergy to latex, most likely, or perhaps an STD. There are a lot of lesbian sex workers out there. I don't think that their lesbianism is causing problems in their line of work, otherwise it'd be awful tough to do their jobs. I don't think that their vaginas are "rejecting" penises.

Also, I don't think my vagina knows squat. My brain does the thinking, not my bits.

Re: My buck fiddy

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

You did not understand what I wrote if you have a problem with the snip phrase "lesbian enough"

"say that someone is lesbian enough to not want a penis in her, is her vag gonna clench up?"

I will rephrase it for you.

If a woman is the type of lesbian that does not want penis in her is her vag gonna enjoy it or will it rebel?

I am in no way saying that you have to be graded on your level of lesbianism or that a lesbian can be "not lesbian enough" if thats what you were thinking.

I also disagree with you, I do think that a vagina knows and has a direct connection with your brain, just like the rest of your body

Re: My buck fiddy

[bookgrrrl.livejournal.com]

By saying "Lesbian enough" you are quantifying the word lesbian. If you didn't mean that, fine, but you should watch your phrasing if you don't want to be misunderstood. "Enough" means: Sufficient to meet a need or satisfy a desire; adequate OR an adequate number or quantity.

I don't know how you expected anyone to take it any other way.

And yes, your vagina has a connection to your brain. As does every other part of your body. But it is silly to say that my feet "know" what shoes I'm wearing. I think I do understand what you're trying to say, but I can't say that I agree with you.

Re: My buck fiddy

[velmaodella.livejournal.com]

When i saw the phrase "lesbian enough" I took it to mean a woman who has no sexual feelings for a man. There are many women who are bi and consider themselves lesbian, just as there are bi women who say they're straight. I'm also thinking of my gay friends who came out after marriages. More that the words themselves might not fully describe someone's desires or interests, or that the person suppressed different desires. I don't know. Maybe I'm not getting my point out. I do understand why the phrase bothers you. Language frequently doesn't have the words we need to fully articulate concepts.

Re: My buck fiddy

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

Thankyou for that, I think you understood what I was saying.

Re: My buck fiddy

[bookgrrrl.livejournal.com]

Language frequently doesn't have the words we need to fully articulate concepts.

Well said!

No, no it doesn't...and it's especially hard online. Thanks for your imput!

Re: My buck fiddy

[velmaodella.livejournal.com]

Gay male porn turns me on as well. The only rationale I can come up with is this: Porn is much easier to find than erotica. And porn is largely geared towards a male audience. A lot of times I have a hard time buying the woman, as in either she looks too much like a fantasy or I'm not convinced she's turned on and enjoying herself. Lesbian porn is full of make-up and long red nails and high heeled shoes -- all of which a lesbian might be into although I've never met one of them (and as far as all the women I've ever met, no two ultra-femmey women have had interest in each other). So the only porn easy to find, where both partners convincingly portray pleasure, is gay male porn. But, truth be told, any visual image of two people I find to be attractive getting it on and enjoying it turns me on.

Re: My buck fiddy

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

Yeah no shit huh? Lesbian porn is too unbelievable. I hate it infact. I dont think gay male porn turns me on either, but I do get what you're saying. I would love to find a tasteful lesbian porn or whatever that actually did it for me.

Re: My buck fiddy

[firinel.livejournal.com]

http://www.goodvibrations.com has some that was created by lesbians for lesbians (or bisexuals, I suppose), so one can assume that as far as believability goes, they're more likely to have hit the mark then the porn that is made by straight men for straight men.

Re: My buck fiddy

[isolt.livejournal.com]

Go to SIR Video (http://www.sirvideo.com) for porn made by dykes, for dykes. It's good stuff ;)

But, truth be told, any visual image of two people I find to be attractive getting it on and enjoying it turns me on.

me too :D

Re: My buck fiddy

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I think that made perfect sense, and that was exactly what I was trying to convey when I replied to the comment which originally spawned this post.

Re: My buck fiddy

[eddie-offermann.livejournal.com]

I don't know exactly how I came to be reading or posting in this community, but one of my friends' friends lists had it and well, here I am and interested in the discussion so... yeah.

My best friend for a zillion years (since we were little) is a gay man that has (almost) never found women attractive - but (stereotypically, in the sense that he's still a guy) he's extremely aroused by porn featuring girl/girl activity. So I wonder if it's not that unusual. For him - it's all about "like and like" I think. Homosexuality is what 'works' for him, regardless of gender.

I'm a poor judge myself. I'm finding myself becoming 'more and more bi' as the days go on, and what I find arousing can be quite different from time to time and is frequently even rather odd.

To the point of the original post: I think sexual response is incredibly mental, but not ruled by it. In clinical settings, psychologists are sometimes in a position to counsel women who have been raped and, though the event was irredeemably negative, it's a fact that some women experience orgasms during their rapes: a contributing factor to considerable post-traumatic stress. Sometimes our bodies just do what the neurons tell them to do.

Re: My buck fiddy

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

I agree. with everything that you said.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I got physically aroused when my gyno had to put a finger on my clit to push it aside when she was doing a pap scraping of my vulva. The scrape hurt, it was a doctor's finger in a clinical setting, yet I popped a little clit woodie. Gynecology isn't one of my kinks. Sometimes physical reactions are pure physiology.

Re:

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

True, agreed. Yet I think there is still some merit to the vagina standing up to the wants of its owner. If someone tried to put their penis in me, I really think my vagina would not be pleased.