I feel dry...

[without-law.livejournal.com]

Recently I have been deflowered and through each session I have had, which is three including the first time, I have felt really dry. My partner said that he felt that I was wet but I still feel like I wasn't wet. We have tried using lube (plenty of it) but it still wasn't enough. I know that there were times where I have gotten so wet that it was visible through my underwear, so what do you all think the problem is? Is it that I'm just not in the right mindset of my partner is not doing enough to turn me on?

Comments

[tornattheelbo.livejournal.com]

sometimes vaginal lubrication alone isn't enough, or isn't the right texture that's conducive for great sex, sometimes it can be stickier than most people like, which is why manufactured lube is so helpful. Different brands have different textures, so you might have to experiment.

[skankkbby.livejournal.com]

Well, if you've just lost your virginity, and you think you do produce vaginal lubrication, then perhaps it's more psychological than physical.

I don't know you or your situation, so I could totally just be taking a shot in the dark here, but I think the first few times is a little nerve racking. It's new, unfamiliar territory, and a lot of people worry about "doing it right" or whatever. A lot of the time (even for people who've been sexually active for a while) women get lost in their heads instead of the primal in-the-moment act of intercourse.

I will undoubtedly say this over and over in this community but here it is: if it feels like a job or duty more than for your own pleasure, then maybe it's not the time. Anyways, hope I could help (:

[geeksdoitbetter.livejournal.com]

i'd like to second the idea that, if you can feel lubrication with your fingers (and it feels properly slippery) but penetration is still uncomfortable, then you can totally ponder readiness and ways to relax

temperature plays a large role, for me

as well as how large the inserting object is, some things are just too big at the beginning of sexy times, but will fit right in 30 min later

[teprometo.livejournal.com]

Only you can answer the question, "Am I really ready for sex right now?"

I've had vaginismus since age 14. That basically just means that my vagina clenches shut and won't stretch to accommodate insertion. I had this because I had been in a very sexually abusive relationship for a year, and I never acknowledged the psychological impact it had on me. After the long road to discovering what was going on, I realized that I had to stop agreeing to sex I didn't want to be having.

Now, maybe you DO want to be having sex, but do think about it, because it's actually really easy to trick yourself into thinking you want something that you don't.

I'd suggest not relying on lube except to show your partner what the right amount of wet is.

Watch some porn or read some erotica on your own. Do something that gets you really worked up and then feel for yourself how wet you are. Then try to simulate this with the lube and have your partner feel.

Now, I'd encourage you to only have intercourse once you've reached this level of arousal through foreplay. Since it is possible for you to become aroused enough to make your panties wet, you know you can do it. So it's probably a sign that you're not quite mentally or physically ready for intercourse when you're not that wet.

In my experience, when I used lube that dried up, it was because I didn't want to be having sex. I wasn't ready for it.

You're still new to this. Take some time to know yourself, and be sure that your partner is always respecting the boundaries you set up. Quite frankly, who gives a fuck if HE thinks you're wet enough? He's not the one who owns the vagina.

And have fun! If sex is ever a chore or feels like it isn't fun, stop. Believe me. Only trauma lies that way.

[archangelbeth]

There's a chance of a mild yeast infection or BV -- both of those can make penetration painful/uncomfortable/dry.

And then, some people just don't produce sufficient lube for penetration all on their own. Look for commercial lubes with no glycerins (can cause yeasties in some) and no parabens (can be irritating for some).

Must run! Luck!

[without-law.livejournal.com]

Than you all for your input. I will try to all all the advice to heart and apply it,