I feel dry...

[without-law.livejournal.com]

Recently I have been deflowered and through each session I have had, which is three including the first time, I have felt really dry. My partner said that he felt that I was wet but I still feel like I wasn't wet. We have tried using lube (plenty of it) but it still wasn't enough. I know that there were times where I have gotten so wet that it was visible through my underwear, so what do you all think the problem is? Is it that I'm just not in the right mindset of my partner is not doing enough to turn me on?

Comments

[teprometo.livejournal.com]

Only you can answer the question, "Am I really ready for sex right now?"

I've had vaginismus since age 14. That basically just means that my vagina clenches shut and won't stretch to accommodate insertion. I had this because I had been in a very sexually abusive relationship for a year, and I never acknowledged the psychological impact it had on me. After the long road to discovering what was going on, I realized that I had to stop agreeing to sex I didn't want to be having.

Now, maybe you DO want to be having sex, but do think about it, because it's actually really easy to trick yourself into thinking you want something that you don't.

I'd suggest not relying on lube except to show your partner what the right amount of wet is.

Watch some porn or read some erotica on your own. Do something that gets you really worked up and then feel for yourself how wet you are. Then try to simulate this with the lube and have your partner feel.

Now, I'd encourage you to only have intercourse once you've reached this level of arousal through foreplay. Since it is possible for you to become aroused enough to make your panties wet, you know you can do it. So it's probably a sign that you're not quite mentally or physically ready for intercourse when you're not that wet.

In my experience, when I used lube that dried up, it was because I didn't want to be having sex. I wasn't ready for it.

You're still new to this. Take some time to know yourself, and be sure that your partner is always respecting the boundaries you set up. Quite frankly, who gives a fuck if HE thinks you're wet enough? He's not the one who owns the vagina.

And have fun! If sex is ever a chore or feels like it isn't fun, stop. Believe me. Only trauma lies that way.