length of lasting during PIV

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

this question isn't really about the vag, but it is about PIV so I guess it isn't not about it either

How long my bf lasts during PIV varies, but generally it's around 5 minutes.  I would like for it to last a bit longer, so I asked him if we can try and he agreed.  I said we should try to double it, but if possible work toward 20 min.  He said that's way too long.  Is 20 minutes an unreasonable amount of time for PIV to last? 

Comments

[lightsabove.livejournal.com]

Personally, I have had partners that lasted 5 minutes, and partners last and hour and a half. I guess it depends on the person.

That being said, I don't think it is UNREASONABLE to try to go that long. I think you would have to experiment and see what works.

[mrtentaclenun.livejournal.com]

20 minutes is a completely normal length of time. Ha, some days I wish PIV sex was only 20 minutes! However you need to build up slowly and see what works for you. Don't spend the entire time looking at the clock, just enjoy yourselves!

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

I definitely do enjoy myself, but I think I could maybe enjoy myself 2 or 3 more times... haha

[tsemed-chemed.livejournal.com]

I wish I could "like" this comment!

[annies-fishies.livejournal.com]

I think the average time for me and my boyfriend is about 10 minutes. I can't come from PIV sex so I use it as foreplay and he makes me come after. I personally don't care for marathon sessions as I get sore and lose moisture quickly, but everyone is different and there's really no wrong answer.

[nickelshoe.livejournal.com]

Twenty minutes is a pretty long time for actual thrusting, if that's what you mean. But there's no reason you can't mix it up and do other things as well.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_forcemajeure_/]

yeah, this. I probably wouldn't be able to handle a full twenty minutes of PIV, but we usually total up to over twenty minutes of it. We'll do PIV for a few minutes, then switch to something else, then back to PIV, something else, etc..

[misspaigeb.livejournal.com]

I can't go more than 10-15 minutes without getting some soreness. Usually if we have sex two times in a row my boyfriend lasts about that long.

[gfdssa.livejournal.com]

Do it twice. The first time's for him and the second time's for you!

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is he always lasts way longer the second time. But we usually wind up falling asleep after the first haha

[paraxeni.livejournal.com]

Honestly it's going to vary from person to person. Some guys ejaculate in 30 secs, some go for two hours. Just don't pressurise him. Try and alternate thrusting with other activities, so it lasts longer.

Also, IMO, quality beats quantity. I've had quickies that left me stunned, and longer (up to 8 hours!) sessions that were great, but tiring!

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

oh gosh, I think I'd be in pieces after 8 hours.

[lilpaige.livejournal.com]

If you guys focus too much on time, he may end up getting really nervous and losing his erection. I personally like it to last about 10 mins for the actual sex part, but love tons of foreplay and will occasionally play around with the vibrator after sex just so I can get off one more time. Not sure who does the "work" when you guys are having sex, or if you equally take turns- but definitely mix it up. 20 mins would be a real workout if only one person was doing the work!

[in-pieces.livejournal.com]

omg totally off-topic but you don't have a larger version of your userpic do you??

[lilpaige.livejournal.com]

i wish! i found it on google and made it my user pic YEARS ago, but don't remember what i searched for :/

[velkoria.livejournal.com]

my bf and I usually last anywhere from 15-30 mins. So, 20 mins is entirely reasonable.

[strivingtoohard.livejournal.com]

20 minutes isn't unreasonable but it is a bit on the long side from my experience. My fiance usually lasts around ten minutes give or take a minute. Sometimes he will last 20 minutes or longer especially if I've gotten him off by hand or mouth before PIV.

My past lovers have probably averaged around seven minutes.

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

Sometimes he will last 20 minutes or longer especially if I've gotten him off by hand or mouth before PIV.
I've noticed this too. If I've gotten him off completely by blow job first, or it's the "second round" he'll last around 15 or so.

[magicalsibylle.livejournal.com]

20 minutes of actual thrusting sounds like hell to me, I'd get sore. My partner and I did pure PIV for about 10 minutes once and it was absolutely exhausting for both him and I. Him because he'd already come before and was doing it for me and me because I knew I wouldn't come and being on the edge for 10 minutes starts feeling painful after a while.

[frolicnaked.livejournal.com]

This is true for me too. I read "20 minutes" and started mentally applying that to my own body. Now my pelvic floor muscles are up around my shoulders from the clenching. ;)

[magicalsibylle.livejournal.com]

Haha!

[archangelbeth]

I would generally consider 5-10 minutes or so to be plenty for PIV... if there's been enough foreplay, that is. Heck, 15 seconds can be plenty, if there's enough stimulation prior!

If there's not enough stimulation prior, then I'd need more time with the hip-tricks I have for stimulation-during-PIV, and then 20 might be an upper limit. I think I'd be about ready to take a nap then... >_>

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

The average duration of PIV only, if that's what's being asked, is about five to ten minutes, usually landing somewhere around seven. So 20 minutes, while certainly possible for many people, is generally on the fairly long side of average.

Like others said -- I would try not to focus too much on the numbers, but instead to focus on trying things that are fun and enjoyable for both of you that may also prolong sex overall. Switching between PIV and other activities, for instance, or experimenting with different positions and speeds that may allow slower pacing.

[io2012.livejournal.com]

Not that I have a ton of experience with this - being female-bodied myself, but I understand a good method for "lasting longer" includes training by bringing the guy to the edge of cumming (but not actually coming) and having him stop it by either contracting or relaxing his Kegel muscles (it's different for each guy). This could be done via oral, manual, or vaginal sex. The key is to have him last just a bit longer than usual. So if he normally lasts 5mins, try for 6-7min with your first session, and build from there. On the other hand, I wouldn't recommend this method if your guy is going to get down on himself for cumming too soon. It needs to be light, fun, and playful. ;-)

If that option doesn't work, some guys last longer when wearing condoms (the extra layer seems to help a bit). And of course, you can always try the 2x method (he cums once, then again). If you are worried about becoming unaroused during his refractory period, incorporate a sex toy into play that he can use on you until he becomes ready again. After all - dildos never go soft! :-D

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

I suggested the "edging" thing to him because I read it online but he just doesn't seem to want to try it. I won't push it because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

It's well above average. But really, average doesn't matter much. Everyone is different, and the fact that he's telling you that it is unreasonable for HIM basically tells you what you need to know - it is (or at least seems to him) to be unreasonable for him and his body. Honestly, I would recommend that you just simply believe him...it would be dismissive to disbelieve someone's opinion of what is reasonable for their own body. His opinion may change if you work on this, but I'd leave that to his discretion, not yours.

There are some methods commonly taught in sex therapy to prolong an erection. (Or to treat "pre-mature ejaculation," but your partner really isn't ejaculating prematurely). You can google them I'm sure...they are generally called the stop start technique, and the squeeze technique, I believe. Be aware though, that some people critique the idea "training" to prolong an erection, primarily because the ways in which that is done can have unintended consequences. Primarily, training to last longer can basically become training to dissociate from sex, to try NOT to feel good because it will make you come, to focus your attention elsewhere. Or else be so focused on monitoring physical sensation that you become emotionally withdrawn and are no longer with your partner, but are mentally isolating yourself to focus on the sensation.

[rojarabbits.livejournal.com]

Everyone is different, and the fact that he's telling you that it is unreasonable for HIM basically tells you what you need to know - it is (or at least seems to him) to be unreasonable for him and his body.
while he didn't say it directly, I think this is what he meant. 20 min may be feasible for some, but I'm sure he knows his body and it may not be possible for him

[treasuretherain.livejournal.com]

It generally varies from person to person, but guys can work on building up their "resilience" on their own, also, getting to know his own body can help him, such as having you in missionary (I know, I know) or in other positions where he can control the pace and such, and he can slow himself down to last longer.

I've been with guys that last 5 minutes, and the current partner, who lasts FOREVER. Both are sometimes awesome, and sometimes leave me all "ohpoooo" Because my previous partner could completely rock my world in 5-10 minutes, and I've had other guys who could have gone for all of eternity and I would have been completely bored.

I'm really into sex, and I love the experience, so long sex is often wonderful for me, but there are days when I just want some quick orgasms and a nap, and that's not possible with this guy so I'm like "OMG HURRY THE FUCK UP" in my head, sometimes lol

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Hey, nothing wrong with missionary.

[hairballsplat.livejournal.com]

I'd be VERY uncomfortable by 20 minutes...sore and raw. 10 is plenty for actual PIV for me. i've never thought about an average for my husband and me, but it also depends on our level of exhaustion, time of day, how long before the kids will wake up, etc.

[thenuddpants.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend can and does last 20 minutes, but there are also some times when we have PIV sex that only lasts 5 or 10. A notable thing though, is that he can "dry orgasm" and keep having sex (and does that specifically in order to be able to have sex longer... which I appreciate!).

Any sex we have that includes 20 minutes of PIV is usually accompanied by ample foreplay beforehand and also throughout the sex... sometimes we fuck for ~5-10 minutes and then break for a bit and focus on oral/manual stimulation, change positions, tease, etc. I don't think he's ever penetrated me and then just thrusted for 20 minutes solid, but we like to change things up a bit, so ymmv. Our whole "sex" start-to-finish can vary from 30 minutes to an hour, but I don't think we've ever had a quickie that was less than 30 minutes or so (in total length, not just PIV time)