This is getting scary for me.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Okay what if you were friends with a guy that was having lots of trouble in his life , was depress that he just turn 29 never had more then two girlfriends in his life and was still a virgin. What if one night you two had spend the whole night tegether while drinking listning to him talk about problem sand decided to have pity sex with him to ease his pain of never having a sex before. After it was all done you tell him that it was nice but was never going to happen again, it just a one tiime thing and thought that everthing was great between you to. Well the next dat you get weird text message and phone call form the guy wanted to know what you are doing, do you want to hang out with him at first you think it sweet but decline the offer.

When you hang out around friends he wants to be all touching feeling with you, ask you about what your thinking about and keep on bugging you to go on a date with him. Then after awhile he starts telling people that you two are dating each other and mailing gifts to you. It been going on for two weeks and you try to give the guy a hint that your not interested in him like that and that it was just a one time thing. But he refuse to accept that as a answer been trying harder to win you over with buying you jewelry, but still tell him nicely that you can't accept them.

Well now you are in a relationship with somebody and he still hoping to win you over and it starting to scare you alittle that he stole a picture from your apartment when you had last a group of friends over and he was there. But you didn't find that out until today.People tell you to call the cops on him, but you tell them that he not a threat to you and it will go away eventaully.

I just need to find a way to tell him bluntly and harshly, while beeing being alittle nice to him that he driving me crazy with what he doing to win my affection and I'm in a relationship. But I'm trying to write down what to say to him to make my point clrear to him that I'm not interested in him and just want to be friends.

Thanks

Also is there a way to stop heavy menstrual bleeding from leaking on you bedsheet even if you do wear a pad and extra layers of underwear to try to stop it. This is my first time I had this and my poor bed sheet are getting soak mostly every night.

Comments

[missmofo.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm...I'm not sure if this is the community for this, but I'll answer anyway. I think you need to stop being so "nice". I mean, while you probably shouldn't have had sex with him in the first place, there's nothing you can do about that now. You need to sit him down and talk to him firmly. Don't yell or get upset, just be stern and get the point straight across of what you're feeling. If I were you, I'd start to cut off ties with him until he calms down.

[svexsal.livejournal.com]

I agree - hindsight is 20/20 and all you can really do is look forward to protect yourself at this point. And that begins by being as clear as possible that his actions are not okay.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

That what I afaid would have to come next if he doesn't stop bothering me and I been trying to be unfriendly with him for him to get a clue. But like you said I need to really sit him down and talk to him firmly and to hopefully get my point across to him.

Thanks you gor you advice.

[fireaphid.livejournal.com]

I have been in a similar situation, and the reason it went on so long is that you cannot be nice, at all. Either be completely mean to him, to his face, or call the cops and have them do it for you, because it's not going to go away on its own. If you don't do something soon, the situation may escalate to the point where you don't have any options besides the law. Sorry, but in my experience, them's the breaks.

[holdenm-krotch.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your advice and sorry that happen to you.

[fey-bot.livejournal.com]

Pity sex is a big no-no, especially if it's with a 29 year old virgin. You need to find a way to tell him bluntly? Ok. Tell him bluntly. You were drunk and you felt sorry for him. It was a mistake with no chance of reprisal. No chance. No fucking chance at all. That's all. By trying to cushion your words or giving wishy-washy explanations, you're giving him the idea that there's still a chance.

You've already filled him with misguided hope by boinking him and now he's latching on to you for dear life as he sees you as the only woman in the world who will ever lavish such attention onto him. That's pretty cruel enough so you don't have to worry about being any meaner.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Thank you for you help.

[voyevoda.livejournal.com]

Also is there away heavy menstrual bleeding bleeding from leaking on you bedsheet even if you do wear a pad and extra layers of under to try to stop it. This is my first time I had this and my poor bed sheet are getting soak mostly every night.

Lame and annoying as this is- Depends/adult underwear, my heavy-bleeding friend tells me, keeps her from ruining her sheets.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

I heard of those from freinds and they said they work well. Might try it out and buy some tomorrow.

Thanks for you help.

[sotepetsenu.livejournal.com]

That, or try sleeping on an old crib pad or a couple of towels/a big towel folded up a bit.

[bezsmertni.livejournal.com]

I second the towels!

Also, when I sleep on my belly as opposed to my back, I almost never have leakage problems. So try that if you're not doing so already.

[shadowobsessed.livejournal.com]

Well, about the bed sheet thing...
pads are usually never enough to me, so I'd have to recommend tampons. :/
a tampon and a pad is usually all it takes.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

I thought the pads would do better then the tampons with heavy bleeding but was wrong in that exception.

Thnaks for your help.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

I think it's awfully strange that your friend Tom posted here a few days ago under your account with a story about his wife and you guys happen to have the same exact spelling and grammatical structure.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Well there is not conspiracy if that what you getting at, but I just let him use my computer to get help here. I'm sorry if that makes it awfully strange.

Have a good night

[tokio.livejournal.com]

Not a conspiracy necessarily, I just think it's odd that you and your friend Tom sound exactly alike. It's almost as though you're speaking ASL rather than standard English, which has an entirely different structure. Are you guys deaf?

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

He's deaf and I don't know why it was like that that we sound alike in each other post.

Have a great night.

[oopsiedaisies7.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought this was a bit strange..

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Oh yes....

Conspiracy.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

I'm glad too! I didn't think anyone else was with me here.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

I wish I didn't have people being awfully strange suspension of my written stlye and tom. But I guess I brought it upon my self for that for some reason.

Again there nothing strange going on and I wish that you would believe me.

[svexsal.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a conspiracy per se, but I don't think that VP is the relationship advice community the OP is seeking it to be.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

I so very sorry for being guilty of doing that and I won't do it anymore so not to cause anymore problems. :)

[tokio.livejournal.com]

I don't necessarily think it's a conspiracy, either. I just find it to be VERY strange. OP, try posting in datinandrelatin. Your inquiries are much more suited to that community.

[svexsal.livejournal.com]

Good idea. I second this.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the link and again so sorry. :)

[orangecrush1189.livejournal.com]

Yeah for real. Not a conspiracy, just something's up.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

I adore your icon.

[orangecrush1189.livejournal.com]

Thanks:) It's from a painting of Kurt Halsey's.

[hallwayjulie.livejournal.com]

Yeah I noticed this too.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

You're in a relationship but you slept with this guy? Open relationship?

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Yes I'm in a relationship with a girl now, were started out with a open relationship. But we decided to take things slowly now.

[silverwing26.livejournal.com]

As for the sheets... i keep some towels around fo rthis purpose. of course if you're a big toss-and-turn sleeper it might not help.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

That the problem too I'm a big big toss-and-turn sleeper at night and putting towels on the bed just don't see to work. :)

Thanks for you help.

[slipstreamborne.livejournal.com]

Low-tech, but if you have any old towels you could spread them out--one or two layers--or if that's not enough put a plastic bag underneath.

If all else fails, time to bust out the old, crappy sheets that won't be ruined any less by some blood. You can get a waterproof fitted sheet to put under the old sheets in order to protect the mattress.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

That sould like a good ideas to try and the old crappy sheets I have are really uncomfortable to sleep on, but then again I shouldn't really be picky right now should I right?

Thanks for your help. :)

[bashfulbanshee.livejournal.com]

For heavy menstrual bleeding:

This is not really very cheap or quick in the short run, but if you think you might experience heavy bleeding for a while, you could always get a really big long cloth pad. Homemade Mama is very popular with her products:

http://hyenacart.com/HomemadeMama/
Look into the ultimate pads. They're huuuge. And you don't need as much coverage with cloth compared to disposable pads because the blood tends to stay in the cloth more rather than slosh around in the plastic weave top of disposables. If you're worried about washing it, you can just throw it into the washing machine on cold as long as you're not using fabric softener and you'll be fine-- the blood won't stain your other clothes. It's still smaller than washing an entire towel.

For your friend who won't get the message:

Yeah, your main goal is you to say you don't want him as bluntly as possible.

"I'm sorry, that sex one night was a one-time deal. I wanted you to feel better that night, but I don't want to be with you. We can be friends, but there is no chance I'd date you. You're not a bad person, but you should try your luck with other people, because this is a dead end. Your extra attention is making me uncomfortable, you seriously can't woo me over. Stop it and be normal. If you can't be normal, I don't think we can be friends."

Basically, you should just give him an ultimatum: Stop being a creep or else I'll never talk to you again. He's desperate and thick-headed. If you don't hurt him, he won't get it. Tell this to him face-to-face, and it's probably a good idea to do it in a public place, like a coffee shop. Make sure you have a good friend a couple of buildings over, so just in case something goes wrong--you at least have instant moral support or someone who can call help.

I'm really worried about your situation, I don't know how much of a threat this guy is and I am really not trying to judge him, but desperate people do desperate things, and it's better to be safe than sorry. Ending his creepy behaviour and protecting yourself and your loved ones are your priorities. Not hurting his feelings or saving the friendship are distant fifths at the most, don't even think about that part. Please take good care of yourself.

[bashfulbanshee.livejournal.com]

More on the heavy menstrual bleeding:

If you're open to the idea of cloth pads, here's a quick list of some of the other sellers I know who sell pads for heavy nights that are at least a foot long.

Naturally Hip: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5457624
Sewfussy: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5130820
County Cloth Creations: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5111482
Solace and Savor http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5818678§ion_id=5451730

I know it's not the cheapest solution upfront, but I just want to let you know that you have a choice other than wearing Depends, because that doesn't sound fun. If your flow is insanely heavy, I'd recommend looking for cloth pads that are 100% waterproof... ones that say that they either have PUL or Procare (which are completely waterproof fabrics), or at least have bottoms that are made out of polyester fleece.

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

You got some really great ideas and thanks for the links. :) Also thank you for the advice.

[ccbabe1689.livejournal.com]

When I have heavy bleeding like that, I wear a "super" tampon AND an over night size pad. works good =)

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your help.

[archangelbeth]

About all I can suggest is that you bluntly tell your friend that he is acting like a stalker, and he's not being romantic, but he's being creepy. He's acting like those psychos in movies and newspapers who go all "if I can't have you, no one can" and try to kill the object of their obsession.

You may wish to tell him that you slept with him so he'd know that he was a good person and have the confidence to go out there and know that he can get someone who will love him back -- not so that he would imprint on you like a baby bird. He needs to go out and become his own person, not relying on other people as crutches, so that he will be attractive to potential partners. (Because most people will detect an emotional black hole eventually and run away screaming. And that's what he's doing right now -- he's trying to co-opt all your emotional energies and turn them on him.)

And... I hate to say it, but I think your friends are right. After you talk to him... you may need to tell him that if he keeps behaving like creepystalkerdude, you are going to have to treat him like a crazy stalker dude and tell the police. Hopefully he's not so far gone that he is a crazy stalker dude now.

I would also be very, very careful not to be alone with him. He sounds like he has some entitlement issues, and is trying to be possessive about you. Without being a mind-reader, I have no way of knowing if he's still sane enough to be consensual, or if he might try to force you to have sex in some attempt to be "manly and aggressive" and "woo you with the power of SEXXORS."

Because he's not behaving rationally, and he is behaving like a crazy stalker. I hope that you can get him to realize this and stop the behavior before it becomes worse.

Good luck!

[archangelbeth]

And for my heavy bleeding, I wear an Always overnight pad with wings, and often a pantiliner up the back, so I don't "wick" blood between my buttocks. That... usually works. If it didn't, on a regular basis, I might just put down a soft towel on the bed.

Good luck on that, too!

[superfan1.livejournal.com]

Always appreciate your help and advice archangelbeth.

Thank you. :)