Erectile Dysfunction?

[thatgirluhate.livejournal.com]

I'm having a difficult time finding legitimate advice on the internet about a very "sensitive" problem I'm having...

For the last seven years I'd only ever been with one man - he is now 37 years old. We broke things off and were seeing other people for nearly a year. In that time, I took up with a 23 year old man. It was the best sex of my life! Never before had I had an orgasm during intercourse.

Long story short, I am now back with My Old Man (and happy as a lark). However, I've noticed that in comparison to my 23 year old partner, my "Old Man" doesn't seem to get as erect. He can certainly achieve an erection, but it doesn't feel as - hard.

I'd mentioned my conundrum to my doctor (a man of similar age - 40). He insists that it is age related. As he is not a urologist, he was unable to give me advice on how to help my man achieve a firmer erection.

Help! I'm determined to stay with this man for the rest of my life, but I'd hate to think that at the young age of 24, I'll be missing out on amazing sex - for the rest of my life!

Thanks in advance for any advice you ladies can impart!

Comments

[slobbergal.livejournal.com]

has he talked to his doctor about it? I mean, i think he could get viagra to help the situation somewhat. It helps with errection.

[thatgirluhate.livejournal.com]

No. I haven't told him that I'd noticed a difference. Luckily his doc is my doc, as well...

I'm thinking about suprising him with a romantic weekend and a script for Levitra (after doing a bit of net research).

[bubblytoes28.livejournal.com]

i'm a 26 year old with a 40 year old partner and the sex is fantastic.
Is your "old man" willing to see a urologist?

[thatgirluhate.livejournal.com]

Probably. Early in our marriage he'd had surgery for a varicocele, I'm wondering now if that may have affected things...

[dangerousface.livejournal.com]

That sounds about right for a man his age--as men get older, their erection ages as well--an almost-forty man will not have an erection as firm as a twentysomething. Pretty normal. :)

[sparkle-lite.livejournal.com]

I agree! A man's cardiovascular system changes as he ages, and there is not anything that you can do about it.

[superrose.livejournal.com]

I haven't found that to be true at all. The best sex of my life is with my current boyfriend. He's 48; I'm 24. I've found him to get the hardest of anyone I've slept with long term.

[frkyjenn.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one a little offended by the "old man" statement? He's 37! When did 37 become old?

[slobbergal.livejournal.com]

i doubt it. heh. my hubby would have a fit. He turns 38 next month. heh.

[quixotic.livejournal.com]

maybe she's just mocking their age gap. if her experience is anything like mine (i'm 25, my husband is 39), she's probably dealt with her fair share of people acting shocked that she's with such an "old" guy, even though, of course, it's not like he's going to be joining the aarp anytime soon.

-a

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

"Old man" is a dialectal way of referring to a person's husband or father (distinguished by context).

[goth-kittykat.livejournal.com]

i am,but that's because my bf is 38 and we started dating when he was 37 and i was 19. so when people i talked to would call him my old man..i found it offensive...:-/ he's active and isn't old. to me it just comes off as uncaring and like oh whatever, it's that thing over there kind of thing ya know? but that's just me.

[quilt-nut.livejournal.com]

I call my boyfriend of 29 old. ;) But that's just a tease as I'm 22 and he's almost 30.

I really consider "old" to be 75 or older.

[h2ok.livejournal.com]

I had a 20-year-old friend call his similarly aged girlfriend his "old lady." I think it's just a slang term :-P

[arularia.livejournal.com]

How active is he? I know that high blood pressure can do awful things to a man's erection--not saying that that's what the problem is, but it could be. Being more active is good for people in general, but it might be especially good in terms of your bedroom antics.

[thatgirluhate.livejournal.com]

He's in great shape, but he doesn't get a lot of cardio...

that's certainly something to take into account...

[wish-you-would.livejournal.com]

I would definitely say check his blood pressure and things that would effect it. My boyfriend is (eek) 51 (I'm 21) and I can tell whether or not he's taken his blood pressure med's for the previous couple of days by how hard (or not) he is.

[thatgirluhate.livejournal.com]

That's super helpful - thanks! He'd had a bit of a problem with BP in the past, and we'd chalked it up to stress, but it certainly worth looking into. I'm gonna check that out tonight!

[totheleft.livejournal.com]

oh, wow! certainly not criticizing, just commenting, but a 30 year age gap! do you find any problems?

[cheeseydreams.livejournal.com]

I agree with all the medical advice, but have you explored the use of cock rings? It might be worth a try.

[thatgirluhate.livejournal.com]

We'd used one back-in-the-day. I'd mentioned getting another instead of a vibrator. He's really open minded, I'm certainly gonna try it out, again!

[totheleft.livejournal.com]

question - how was he 7 years ago? was it always like this? if so, it's just him, not his age :) as 30 certainly isn't old.

[mangorama.livejournal.com]

I'm having sex with a 37 year old man right now and it is the best sex of my life, but he does occasionally have erection issues (3 or 4 times in the few months we've been together). He says that he's noticed that as he's gotten older his parts just don't work as well. It's true as you get older your arteries are less elastic and it can decrease blood flow to the area. However, even when he's not as hard or loses his erection, the sex is still amazing. For me sex is a lot about the connection and communication. He also always wants to please me, he's not happy if I haven't come 4 or 5 times during the session (something I'm completely capable of doing, so there's not really pressure.) I would encourage you to communicate more with him about what makes sex feel better for you and how to help you orgasm with penetration.

[goddessdeath.livejournal.com]

Just thought I would throw something out there (and hopefully not get totally bashed for it...and will preface it with the disclaimer that I know not ALL men are affected by this, but...) Is he a smoker? A heavy drinker? Marijuana smoker (and you don't have to answer that...It's just a question to ask.) I have heard that smoking can affect a man's quality of erection.

[goth-kittykat.livejournal.com]

yeah..i'm 20 and my bf's 38(soon to be 39) and i haven't noticed anything that would be dysfunctional about his penis when it comes to sex. to me it kinda sounds like the other guy fit you better maybe?

[paperwings86.livejournal.com]

I just have to add that I love this post in that it talks about large age gaps! My soon-to-be husband is 34 and I am 22.