Sexual "deviancy" what?

[metalkprtty1day.livejournal.com]

I read an article on Msn today about spanking. Apparently recent studies have found that spanking your child increases the chances that the child will be involved in risky sexual behaviour and sexual deviancy. Don't worry, this isn't a spanking debate, but I was surprised by something in the article.

When the article expanded on what type of behaviour was more likely to be manifested in spanked kids, it mentioned "premarital sex without a condom" (I'd like to point out that marital sex without a condom is still a risk if the partners don't want babies - but I'll give the article the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was talking about the transmission of sti's in non-monogamous couples.) It also says that spanked kids are more likely to verbally or physically coerce the person they are dating into having sex.

However, the last behaviour that was mentioned was that the person was more likely to enjoy 'masochistic sex such as spanking during sex." Now, maybe vagina pagina has just opened my eyes to the wide variety of sexual personalities in the world, but I would never have considered spanking during sex to fall into the category of "sexual deviancy". And I wouldn't think that spanking would be categorized as 'risky sex' either.

To me, to fall into the category of sexual deviancy, we'd really be talking about things like rape and pedophilia. But spanking? Really? Personally, I've never tried the whole spanking thing, but if I ever did, I wouldn't consider myself to be a deviant. For that matter, sometimes I like to have my hair pulled during sex, so I guess I already am one, by these standards. (Well I was spanked once or twice as a child, so I guess there's my answer :P )

So what do you guys think? Is the general population just way more closed-minded than Vagpag when it comes to sex? Because honestly, I was just really surprised when I read that.

Let me know what you guys think about this. Am I overreacting to the term "deviant", or is this as suprising as I seem to think it is?

*edited for spelling*

Comments

[superrose.livejournal.com]

I work in television news and when that crossed the wire, we all had a good laugh. None of us considered it deviant, and we all decided that they should study the link between spanking and violence (which at least in the wire copy, they came out and said they ignored) rather than the link between spanking and sex spanking.

[ihave-themoon.livejournal.com]

i dont know about that either. i was spanked as a child and i think i like pretty much just the basic sex. no sexy spankies for me.

[siren-songs.livejournal.com]

That surprises me too. I don't think as sexual spanking as deviant either. I was spanked as a child and I have pretty vanilla sex for the most part.

[emilia-romagna.livejournal.com]

I think you answered your own question, at least as far as it goes for the people who did this study (which I'd love a link to, so I can look at their methodology!)- sounds pretty closed minded to me. I'm not even sure how one would define spanking as sexual deviancy in this case - and I'm sure our friend Kinsey would have problems with this report.

From personal experience, I got spanked once as a child, and am starting to enjoy a little bit of light spanking with my sweetie. I don't consider that deviant, nor do I think they are linked. I also don't think premarital sex without a condom is deviant either - but maybe I'm so f-ed up from that one time that I can't tell what's wrong with me ;)

[metalkprtty1day.livejournal.com]

http://healthandfitness.sympatico.msn.ca/Spanking+Raises+Chances+of+Risky+Deviant+Sexual+Behavior/News/ContentPosting.aspx?isfa=1&newsitemid=64787035&feedname=CP-HEALTHSCOUT&show=False&number=0&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=True

There's the link.....I don't know how to link properly, sorry. :P They don't seem to go into too much detail regarding how they came up with these conclusions, though.

And I think that the condomless sex was meant to fall into the 'risky' category, and not necessarily deviant.

[violet-tigress1.livejournal.com]

So what do you guys think? Is the general population just way more closed-minded than Vagpag when it comes to sex?

Yes.

[my-neighborhood.livejournal.com]

fo sho

[arularia.livejournal.com]

When it comes to things like BDSM, yes, I think the general public is rather biased in thinking that such behavior is somehow deviant and must stem from past abuse. There is huge, huge, HUGE difference between liking to tie up/spank/whatever your lover and acting upon urges to rape or molest someone.

I think the premarital sex without a condom bit is a leftover from the mindset of "OMG little Timmy needs a mommy AND a daddy--YOU CAN'T BE A SINGLE PARENT!! D:" which is complete crap. If a single woman wants to be a mom, but hasn't found her ideal partner yet, so what? If she's willing to put in the time and effort that it's going to take to be a single parent then more power to her and whoever the man was that helped her achieve her pregnancy.

The only risky behavior is going to be having unprotected sex with a partner that you don't know the history of. But if both of you have a clean bill of health and getting pregnant isn't a big deal, then where exactly is the risk in not using a condom?

As for the coercion thing, I'm thinking that that's probably a case of correlation without causation. There's nothing that spanking would teach a child that would also teach them that it's okay to manipulate someone into doing what they want though.

[metalkprtty1day.livejournal.com]

unrelated and slightly naive question here: what does the 's' in BDSM stand for? I've never figured it out. :P

[bj-felds.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I was so pissed when I read that article this morning. I understand that not everyone is comfortable with BDSM but that article was ridiculous.

[my-name-is-jenn.livejournal.com]

See, I'm completely opposite from that article. I was spanked as a child and I'm anything but "sexually deviant," as it is described in that article.

[pyraterose.livejournal.com]

same here.
I'm 18 and still a virgin too.
OH NOEZ!

[ends-and-means.livejournal.com]

they probably consider oral sex to be "deviant" as well...

that said, i was rarely spanked as a child (3 times, tops), but i DO like smacking my boyfriend's hiney from time to time.... haha.

[katastrophe1187.livejournal.com]

Lols! My bf wont let me come near his booty, unless he wants it scratched. O_o

[archangelbeth]

Is the general population just way more closed-minded than Vagpag when it comes to sex?

...probably, yes.

(Personally, if they'd stopped with "more likely to coerce," then hey, that'd be sufficient to me... On the other hand, I suppose if they're trying to convince a certain audience that spanking isn't useful, calling masochism "sexual deviancy" would be the way to do it.)

[indis-earfalas.livejournal.com]

Feh. That article made me laugh.

I wasn't ever spanked as a child (I'm sure my parents would have, if necessary, but I was a completely timid and wussy kid - so I was hardly ever naughty), and yet I could be considered a deviant by more conservative types.

Also, if that was the case, wouldn't all of the older generations of people - those who were spanked and more - be full of deviants? Yet, stereotypically, the older generations are the ones who frown on "deviant" behaviour.

Also, both of my besties were spanked as kids. One of them even had to go out and choose her own switch (bit of stick off a tree - too thin and she'd get in more shit). The other ones mother would be considered abusive, by todays standards (actually, even then it was borderline). Neither of them would ever consider trying some of the things I've done. So.

Is the general population just way more closed-minded than Vagpag when it comes to sex?

For sure. Well, I think there's a bigger divide now, between those who are and those who aren't. Or, possibly, more people are willing to admit to being a bit more adventurous (actually, that's not the right word, I can't think of the right one), especially on here - which worries (and scares) the people who are less so.

OR ... I could be talking out of my arse, because I've only been awake for 15 minutes and I'm only 1/2 way through my first coffee.

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'd think a more thin one would hurt *more*...

[pyraterose.livejournal.com]

Just another article trying to convince parents not to punish their children apparently. I was spanked two times in my life and had my mouth washed out with soap once and I promise I never did those things again. Then I see kids now who just get their xbox taken away for a day or are told they can't watch their favorite show as "punishment" for something they've done. These are the kids that will be fucked up later in life when they realize that there are real consequences for their actions.

/rant.

On topic, though, I really don't understand what that would have to do with anything. I especially wouldn't consider spanking "deviancy" or "risky" either. *shrugs*

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

I remember getting a whack on the bum or leg sometimes when I did something naughty, but most of the time just the threat was enough. My dad chased me with a thong (the shoe kind) multiple times but never actually used it on me, and my mum once had me over the sink with soap in hand, but never actually did the deed. To this day I won't swear in front of my parents, and I'm now 28. :)

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! snarl! HISS!

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

It's the same with spanking, Straus said. "If a person says, 'I was spanked, and I don't have any interest in bondage and discipline sex, that's correct, but it's not because spanking is OK, it's because they're one of the lucky ones."

WHAT

Dude, not being us does not make you "the lucky ones."

*gnashing of teeth*

Re: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! snarl! HISS!

[xochiquetzl]

What you said. Grrr.

[doomweasel.livejournal.com]

There's actually a book that came out not too long ago called "America Unzipped," in which the author travels all around the US interviewing various "sexual deviants." The thrust of the book is that everyone is a sexual deviant in some form - and therefore no one is.

People just don't like to admit it. ;D

[seserakh.livejournal.com]

neat, I'd like to read that book

[seserakh.livejournal.com]

That really is a closed-minded, nuclear family-centric, abstinence only, missionary position only article. You're not alone in thinking that. And, sadly, I think most of the general population really is more closed-minded about sex than we are here. :(

[goth-kittykat.livejournal.com]

i got spanked until i was 15.

i consider myself to be a sexual 'deviant'. while i'm not into s&m i tend to be interested in other areas of bdsm where my partner is in the controlling role...maybe that has something to do with it? i liked being spanked with my partner, maybe it's because i chose to do it, or maybe being spanked trains you to somehow like it? who knows! i won't bore you with the other stuff but i consider myself to be a deviant because i am open to various sexual things that i think most people aren't. i know i'm not doing that with my kids!

i do have sex without a condom(we educatedly choose to do the pull out method, my partner is 38 and seems to be very in control with himself) and i haven't been married yet. i've never been the one to really initiate sex, with my ex he did but i didn't want to, with my current we both did.lol

[odetta-to-detta.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...I was spanked as a child and I'm asexual. Is that sexual deviency? :P

[aramina48.livejournal.com]

Argh. I saw this article and purposely didn't read it for just this reason. I was sure it was going to be an "OMG being spanked as a kid makes you a sexual deviant!" thing. What a shock.

For the record, I'm a twenty-year-old virgin, and my mama took a leather belt to my ass when I did something wrong. It hurt, big time. I didn't like it, and I would usually cry and scream and beg for her not to do it.

As an adult? The idea of doing that with a partner turns me on. Do I think that has anything to do with my childhood? Um, no. My mother didn't use biting me as a form of punishment, but that's definitely something that gets me. And, going the other way, the idea of washing my mouth out with soap or being forced to eat hot sauce (two of Mom's punishments) makes me squirm, and not in a good way.

My vote? This "study" is biased BS.

[odetta-to-detta.livejournal.com]

My dad threatened my sis and I with belts. He never actually got around to using it, though (though spankings were common enough...more for my sister since I was well behaved). Once we tried to call his bluff and didn't quiet down when told us to (it was very very late at night and he was tring to sleep), and he came storming down the stairs, belt in hand, complete with buckle (and he was a rodeo man, so the buckle was scary).

We shut-up and ran to our room. Never again did we call one of dad's bluffs (though looking back on ut, I'm still not entirely convinced he would have actually belted our butts. But seeing was enough).

I came out asexual and my sis a "deviant" in some ways. Totally biased BS, this study.

[pqowlaks.livejournal.com]

I don't consider it sexually deviant behavior... it seems kind of silly to me.

At the same time I was not really spanked that much when I was little but word from my parents is that I used to ask my dad to spank me :\ :\ Apparently I used to say, "spank me, daddy" hahaha ew. I don't remember that at all... I actually don't think my dad ever DID spank me, but instead it was my mom doing the punishing like that so I dunno, but I do like being spanked in bed...

alternative..

[jen-floridagal.livejournal.com]

What happens behind closed doors as long as you are safe, sane and consensual , you would be surprised who likes what...

[xochiquetzl]

Is the general population just way more closed-minded than Vagpag when it comes to sex?

Yes!

Am I overreacting to the term "deviant",

No.

or is this as suprising as I seem to think it is?

Yes.

I don't know. I probably shouldn't be surprised, because I know that BDSM folk are considered "sick" by a lot of people, but I continue to be surprised when I see it.

[bellazoemom.livejournal.com]

I was not spanked as a child. I do not spank my children. However. I love to get spanked by my husband. I don't mean a little pat on the ass...I mean welts. Maybe I am sexually deviant, but it isn't from being spanked as a child. LOL I guess I consider myself more sexually free than deviant, but I like sex rough, mixed with restraints and submission and I love to try something new. That being said, I have only one partner now (my husband) and none of our sex life is risky in anyway.

[dial-zero.livejournal.com]

My mom sent me an article about the same study (the professor was from the University of New Hampshire, I grew up in NH):

http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008802290332

I was like, blah blah whatever... until I got to the last paragraph:

But unlike coercing sex or having unprotected sex, masochistic sex isn't usually considered harmful, Straus said. Though there aren't adverse effects, Straus said he doesn't condone it.

"For me, gentle, loving sex is the thing," he said. "I think the world would be better if there were more people who liked gentle, loving sex than (people who) linked even play-violence to sex."

Fuck him and what he "condones." Seriously. He can have all the vanilla sex he wants, but don't try to make people feel bad for liking what they like (and he says there aren't adverse effects!!!)

[metalkprtty1day.livejournal.com]

Oh wow...that's brutal. It definitely makes it pretty easy to disregard most of what this guy is saying, as he definitely seems more than a little bit biased.

It just seems so strange to me to hear stuff like that from a someone in a scientific field, doing scientific research based on facts. It's just so ambiguous. "it's not really harmful, but the world would be better if people didn't bite eachother when they were fucking....."

[x-jazzhands.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA.

I was never spanked as a child. So why do I like it when my boyfriend leaves bruised handprints on my ass? The world may never know.