Do all women require alot of foreplay?

[astrobot7000.livejournal.com]

When I am with girls, I do not like to spend a lot of time on foreplay. I usually want to spend, maybe 5 minutes at most, then get down to the deed. Of course, if the sex does not bring the woman to orgasm, after I come I will return to her needs until she cums, no matter how long it takes to accomplish. If I spend any more than 5 minutes on foreplay I lose the passion, and therefore I cannot perform.

So my question is, are the women who don't like to spend a lot of time on foreplay rare? My girlfriend tells me that they are very rare indeed (she also tells me that most girls don't like intercourse, just clitoral stimulation, so I never know what to believe from her), but I really wouldn't know. I haven't been with a lot of women. So the question is do all women require alot of foreplay?

EDIT - I suppose I should have initially added that I suffer from mild erectile dysfunction, so none of this is really a choice on my part. If I usually don't get it in within a few minutes, it doesn't come back up.

Comments

[arseaboutface.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Could this be a troll?

[http://users.livejournal.com/__mandymoo/]

For me it depends on my mood. As of late though, I've just been like "hey boyfriend lets do it!" and he's like "let me touch you a little" and I'm just like "you, here now"

[macabre.livejournal.com]

Your girlfriend doesn't know every single woman.

It all varies. Some women like lots of foreplay, others don't. I like lots of foreplay, but I don't need it. I also prefer sex to clitoral stimulation, because I get too sensitive.

[alwaysamommy.livejournal.com]

Not all women require a lot of foreplay, and not all that usually require it always want it because sometimes we want to get down to business, but I can tell you from personal experience that what makes me think someone is better in bed is the amount of foreplay because it demonstrates how much time they're willing to spend to meet my emotional needs (which is USUALLY what the underlying purpose of sex is for a woman) before they meet their own need for release. The best sexual partner I've ever had is the one I am with right now (and have been for almost 3 years) and while he is good with his penis, the thing that makes him so good in bed is the foreplay. I would highly recommend giving her at least 10 minutes, and from what I'm told, it'll make the release better for you.
My SO says little to no foreplay is like watching an action movie but only fast forwarding to the climactic scenes.

[sparkle-lite.livejournal.com]

You seem to have a very selfish attitude about sex. You should be willing to do whatever it takes for the girl you are with, and all girls are different. Maybe if you spent more time getting your girlfriend in the mood and ready for sex through foreplay she would be more likely to orgasm during intercourse. You should be doing whatever you can to make sex a shared experience, and not "let me hurry up and get off so I can get it over with".

[sarah-mae13.livejournal.com]

Like others have said, it depends on the woman.

I would really recommend that you read She Comes First by Ian Kerner (http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Ian-Kerner/dp/0285637223/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-2340671-1864762?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1190523284&sr=1-1). It focuses on oral sex but it also really explains the way a woman's sexual anatomy works. I know that I learned a lot from it.

[mari-mac1109.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely more impressed by a guy who will spend time on foreplay. The female orgasm is TOTALLY different than the male orgasm, so if a guy makes me come more than once, I'll be far more impressed than a guy that makes me come once, after he gets off. I mean, often times an orgasm will make a girl wet enough to have comfortable sex. Five minutes of foreplay doesn't typically make all girls ready for intercourse.

[wishuponakate.livejournal.com]

...I agree with many of the above noters. And remember:

Foreplay starts long before you hit the bedroom!

Make her feel special by setting the mood. Candles, soft pillows/linens, a massage, brush her hair, her favourite meal, talking, laughing, tickling, flirting and talking dirty. I know that if I have that slow build up throughout a date or an evening, I'll rip his clothes off as soon as we get in the door... and everyone's happy.

Get it?

[aineemae.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I want long foreplay and other times I don't.

[strand3d.livejournal.com]

i require little to no foreplay and my boyfriend is the one who wants all the foreplay. To each their own.

[meeso.livejournal.com]

Every girl is different. If your girl is telling you that other girls that don't like to jump right to the sex that pretty much means she's a girl that needs more foreplay with clitoral stimulation. This can be done during sex by reach around, using a vibrator during sex, her touching herself, etc.

I just went to a program that my roommate dragged me too at school called "I <3 the Female Orgasm". It's all about women's sexuality and helped me with my answer above. :) There's a book out written by the presenters with the same name if you want to check that out. :)

[lakemi.livejournal.com]

I don't. I'm super impatient and if my bf is fingering me or whatever I'm trying to get him to just get down to business. I have no idea why this is. It even annoys him sometimes because he is making an effort to be romantic or whatever and I'm rushing things.

[frankie-cat.livejournal.com]

um. i take issue with the separation of "foreplay" from "the deed". it's all sex. it's just a matter of changing one's perspective. the idea that PIV intercourse is the "real deal" or whatever is so ingrained that a lot of people don't even think about it. but oh well. i just wanted to mention that.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

To me, the stuff that qualifies as "foreplay" in many people's minds is actually just an extension of sex. Part of what that means that even if I'm ready to have intercourse, I don't always want intercourse right away, because I enjoy other activities just as much. I really like oral sex, a lot, and I love having my G-spot stimulated by my partner's fingers, etc. etc. Even just kissing and touching each other is awesome. I'd hate to miss out on that stuff just because the focus is on PIV sex and getting straight to some sort of mythical "point".

I can't speak for all women, though, and neither can your partner. Most women require some level of foreplay at least some of the time, and many probably need a significant amount. Also, many women can orgasm far more easily from clitoral stimulation than intercourse alone. But, there is no statement that applies to all women at once, and everyone is different.

I'm not sure how ED works, here, but if you can, I would try focusing on the activity at hand and enjoying the good feelings you get (and give!) during that activitiy. Then try only focusing on getting/keeping an erection when your partner is ready/is asking for intercourse. Take your time, relax, and don't get upset if it doesn't work the way you want it to instantly. Good luck!

[missjecka.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend loves going down on me, and he goes longer than I usually like. I'm the 20% of women who orgasm from internal, PIV, g-sport orgasms; the other 80% of women out there usually can't orgasm from g-spot stimulation - just clit stimulation.

That being said, some women - myself included - don't enjoy direct clitoral stimulation, which is part of the reason why I don't like it to last too long.

Also, as many have said so far, your girlfriend doesn't know every woman, so she's most likely basing her "Facts" on how she feels and what gossip she and her friends talk about. But, everyone is different.

[archangelbeth]

Depends on what one calls foreplay. And how much in the mood one is to start with. If one is really in the mood for some reason, then hey, "foreplay" can be "getting the clothes out and the condom on."

If I'm not physically in the mood to start, 20-30+ minutes of a backrub/footrub/handrub is nice, and then he can get around to chest-rubs or fingering.

Most women do not orgasm during intercourse; there needs to be clitoral stimulation as well. I can get this during intercourse in certain positions, and other positions allow reach-aroundness.

And yes, lubrication is a definite issue. If there's not enough lube, then it's ow and as I'm not a masochist, that's a turn-off that's going to require more foreplay to get around. And, from what I've seen on VP, I'm pretty un-troubled in such issues -- many women have even more issues about lubrication, and whether they produce enough on their own, or what.

If you and your lass can come to an arrangement of plenty of artificial lube (remember to be careful of brand and ingredients; if someone is prone to yeast infections, or has allergies, certain lubes can be BAD) to start and subsequent after-play, then more power to ya. But, sadly, biology is not really on your side for this one.

(You're not alone -- just think of all the spam for Viagra. Mehhhhh.)

[xevv.livejournal.com]

I usually get an hour to 3 hours (or more, sometimes!) of "foreplay". To be honest, actual intercourse is my least favorite part of sex, and only lasts as long as it takes to get him off. I can't imagine taking less time; my partner is extremely well endowed and even with that much foreplay sex still hurts. My partner and I are pretty heavily into BDSM, with me topping my partner, so there's usually a lot to do before intercourse ever happens. Enjoy foreplay! And indeed, I and most women I know only use intercourse as another means of clitoral stimulation; by ourselves we usually focus on the clitoris to the exclusion of all else. Besides that, I would listen to what the others here are saying, it's all good advice I think.

[lemonadelily.livejournal.com]

All women are different!
I am on a personal mission to inform men that NOT ALL WOMEN ENJOY FOREPLAY OR CLITORAL STIMULATION!
I think I have an LJ post coming...
Personally, I am not a fan of foreplay. I need about 10 minutes of direct touching (other than brushing up against my partner or suggestive comments) and touching bare breasts or through clothing is enough to do the job. Too much foreplay becomes boring and I believe my body attempts to fall asleep. My clit HATES being touched directly. I have never climaxed (alone or with a partner) from direct clitoral stimulation. For me, too much touching leads to pain, and everything down there becomes hypersensitive and eventually shuts down. When my current boyfriend attempts to do it the "right" way (that is, lots of foreplay and touch the clit), I never climax and everything goes numb. However, with a little foreplay and no direct touching, I'm practically climaxing when the PIV sex begins.

This is a public service announcement to everyone: ASK your partner what works and what doesn't. I've had too many boyfriends do what all these self-help forums claim to work for women, and it doesn't work for me. Finally, when the frustrated boyfriends just asked me what wasn't working for me, we were able to change the routine and make sex enjoyable for both of us (if my current boy goes too long he starts to hurt, making climax almost impossible for him).

[my-neighborhood.livejournal.com]

You're girlfriend can't speak for all women. I enjoy intercourse very much and do not require much foreplay. I've found that very few preferences are "rare". All women are different.