2 Weeks after first time; nervous about tonight!

[archesophos.livejournal.com]

Hi,

So, my husband and I got married two weeks ago. We both decided to wait until marriage, so we were virgins on our honeymoon night.

It took a long time, there was quite a bit of pain for me (both with my inner muscles and with tearing my hymen, which I felt tear two different times and I still am not sure it's completely split), but we were about as relaxed as could be, laughed about it, and had an intimate first experience.

But after that, while on honeymoon, we tried two other times and I was just too tight/too much in pain (more from the tear, I think) to continue all the way. We did use lube (I'm sure our first-timer clumsiness didn't help), but I felt so tight that it was really not a pleasant experience. Despite all the foreplay in the world, once he started going in, the pain killed all of that for me. Anyway...

So immediately after honeymoon, I got my period, and he's a little grossed about about sex with that, which is fine with me, so today, we can finally try again.

The thing is, after two weeks, I still don't think my hymen has healed. It still hurts like hell (especially when I pee or try to clean down there), exactly like a new cut, and when I feel down there I can feel the spot where it is still raw. It sort of feels swelled a bit, right at the entrance; I didn't have any problem with tampons or anything but it hurts a lot - it's just irritated. It doesn't seem to be healing at all, and it hurts to have anything even slightly grazing it, so I am really afraid of how much it is going to hurt to have him trying to penetrate.

Sorry for the graphicness, I just hope that might help with answers. I guess I want to know how long this is going to take to heal, anything I can do about that specific pain (something to numb), if it's safe to use lube on an open cut, and if anyone else had a similar experience?

Comments

[frecklestars.livejournal.com]

I would recommend no lube on an open cut. Give yourself a few days, because as much as it sucks, re-tearing a wound to try to be intimate again just isn't worth it. At least in my opinion; my first time hurt quite badly, and afterward I didn't wait for a little while (and wish I had). Good luck! And congratulations on getting married! :)

[akimova.livejournal.com]

I'd say go see a doctor - you shouldn't be in that much pain after 2 weeks. Also for the tightness factor, maybe warm up to full-blown sex with fingering?

[alwaysamommy.livejournal.com]

When you say you feel an open cut, do you mean inside your vagina? Your hymen is on the inside but the area between your vaginal opening and your anus is your perenium.

[foureyeddarlin.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on your marriage!

I would also recommend seeing a doctor: in general there is a large blood supply to the genitals, so minor wounds should heal quickly. That you are still experiencing pain is a concern.

[superjen.livejournal.com]

yeah, it does sound like you tore your perineum, so i would go see a doctor and make sure everything's okay down there before you continue.

in terms of sex really hurts... take it real slow. you might want to ask your husband to gently stimulate you with his hands, both inside and outside, and really, however you like. just make sure his nails are trimmed and filed and that his hands are clean. if he's up to it (and if you are) oral might relax you enough to take penetration.

the most important thing, i think, is to engage in a lengthy foreplay. lots of making out, touching, talking, etc. it makes the experience far more relaxed and gives you time to get completely aroused, making your vagina more likely to accommodate a penis.

ps- congratulations on being hitched. enjoy each other!

[scien.livejournal.com]

Definitely no sex until it stops stinging and hurting, wait til you're healed. If it doesn't stop soon see a doctor about it.