Anonymous Post - Difficulty in Vaginal Penetration

[free-me07.livejournal.com]

Hi! As you probably know, from time to time the VP Team makes posts on behalf of people who wish to remain anonymous or who do not have LJ accounts. This is one such post. Thanks in advance for your helpful comments!

P.S. For more info on anonymous posts, see this link.

Lissie
For the VP Team
contact_vp


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I have a load of vagina problems all of which come down to the fact that I cannot insert anything into my vagina - so no tampons, no PIV sex. I tried getting an annual exam twice and both times no luck. The doctor told me to return after I had sex - advice that initially depressed me but now just makes me angry. I need help on two things:

1. I have tried to insert very thin vibes and a single condom covered finger with lots of Astroglide but no luck. I also tried this during my period when I would be more lubricated but it did not work. I feel like my vagina has this small opening like between the couch cushions but no 'hole' as such. I am very frustrated with this and am considering that I have a thick hymen for some reason. I tried to look using a mirror and a flashlight but just see a small triangular indentation but no vaginal opening.

2. I have an appointment to see a new doctor. I am worried that I will not be able to tell the doctor what my problem is and that she will end up thinking that I just need to 'relax more'.

Is there any specific language I should use when I speak with the doctor? Is there some drug they can give me to help me relax? And, can I ask about my hymen. My ex-doc would never answer any of my questions about my hymen, and I felt too humiliated to press. I somehow felt that she was judging me because of my abstinent upbringing (which was due to not being able to manage PIV sex and not religious
reasons/upbringing)

Comments

[laurensellscorn.livejournal.com]

You are paying a medical professional to find out what's wrong with you; you aren't there to be judged or have your concerns shrugged aside. If people will complain to a waitress earning minimum wage about the way the food they paid for turned out, why is demanding service of a highly-paid professional less common? Going in with this mindset helps a lot!

In addition to the excellent suggestions above (using a list is very helpful) you might ask to have a nurse in the room with you, especially during the exam. It can feel easier to have someone by your side so it doesn't feel so one-on-one, and is the best substitute to bringing a trusted friend/family member with you.

I had hell getting diagnosed. Trust me, I got all the relaxation lines, all the "it's all in your head"'s, was made to feel like utter crap. If your doctor proves incompetent despite your best efforts, leave after asking for your payment back in the front office if you had to pay in advance. If they refuse, ask how to lodge a complaint to the doctor's superior.

Then get on the phone and call around to any doctor covered by your insurance, and ask the doctor or nurse how many women with chronic vulva pain they see (use terms like vulvodynia, vestibulitis, vaginismus to test to see if they know what they're talking about) and do not make an appointment unless you're convinced they can help you. You don't deserve any more wasted time or money, not to mention disappointment!

I'm hoping for the best for you. Wish you could update us, but I understand why you want to stay anonymous.