my partner has herpes

[-birkenstock.livejournal.com]

ok, we just found out that my fiancee has genital herpes.  i know that there is no 100% safe sex.. but i have a few questions regarding what is safer.

he has only had one outbreak, one small thing that blistered over and has now scabbed, and a little redness on the tip of his penis. 

obviously, we know not to have sex while he is having an outbreak, or if one is coming on.  does this include him performing oral sex on me?  he has never had a cold sore or anything, can it still be transmitted?  should we avoid oral sex all together, during an outbreak or not?

how long after the scab heals is it considered ok to have sex?

Comments

[littlemissalien.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I've been exposed to both types of herpes and have never had a single symptom of the classic outbreak. Maybe I'm just lucky. My Mum has had oral herpes (cold sores) since before I was born and has always been careful when she feels she is getting one (usually a couple of times a year). Similarly, my partner has genital herpes and has only ever had two outbreaks (the first time he got it and once when we were together about 2 years ago).

I've been STD tested and am STD free (although I've recieved treatment for HPV in the past), I spoke to my GP and the shedding of the virus is believed to only be present in 1 in 5 or 6 people with the virus. Also, I have recurrent shingles/post-herpetic neuralgia which means I have a strain of HSV anyway, so I was told not to stress, I could be uninfected or immune, or even have it but not get symptoms. I was told that much of the population do have it but are asymptomatic.

You could take a look at http://www.herpes.org.uk/ (http://www.herpes.org.uk/) for a less scaremongering approach.