Period rant

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

You know, I've read many posts in this and certain other communities, written by girls/women who obviously feel quite positive about this whole period business. I've always marveled at that, because my own feelings about the phenomenon are quite different....



I hate having my period. Okay? Loathe it. In fact, if there were a way for me to stop it permanently, I'd probably do it in a heartbeat. But since I think it would be rather difficult to convince a doctor to perform a full hysterectomy on a healthy 26-year-old just because she doesn't want it anymore...I'm most likely stuck with it, no?

Right now, I'm on the third day of my period. I'm crampy as hell, I'm bloated like a fucking baby beluga, and I'm moody as all get out. I could deal with all that, though, if I didn't feel so dirty. Seriously. I feel rotten, like I could take four showers a day and still not feel clean.

Of course the pad thing only makes it worse, since every time I go to the bathroom I have a visual reminder of what's going on. I know I've got the option to use tampons, but since they make my cramps have cramps, that's really not an option.

I've heard of women who make art out of used pads and menstrual blood, and while I'm amazed that they're able to do that, I'll be honest: I don't understand it. I don't even want to be reminded of mine at all, let alone turn it into art. The smell, the sight....it just sickens me.

I know it's all terribly unfeminist of me and everything, but I honestly cannot stand having my period. When I skip a month (or two, or three), it's not a cause for concern; I'm too busy thanking whatever God may exist that I get to bypass the whole fucking mess for a while.

And I feel like my poor vagina's stuck in the middle of all this. Normally she and I are best friends. I pay her much attention. :) But, when my damn ovaries & uterus decide to make their presence known -- well, the situation gets icy. My vagina and I spend a week each month not being on speaking terms.



I just felt the need to post this tonight. I hope no one's offended by it, but this is the way I feel, so I won't apologize.

Comments

[koushi.livejournal.com]

Maybe a menstrual cup would be better?

I hate periods too.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

Considering the fact that putting a tampon up there makes me cramp like WHOA, I'm not all that keen on finding out what a menstrual cup would do to me.

And again, with a menstrual cup, I've still got to see the blood. I don't think there's any way for me to win in this situation. I just hate this so much.

[aechei.livejournal.com]

oooh, oooh!
mirena iud!
90% of women have lighter, shorter, or fewer periods. 20% stop having periods altogether.

i haven't had a period since august!
you don't need to have had kids, i am 21 with no children.

check out iud_divas if you are interested.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

....Holy God. I never even thought about getting an IUD. Really.

I'm going to have to check this out.

.....No period since August. I am so envious.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

....Are you in childfree, by any chance? Your icon looks so familiar....

[xxchloroform.livejournal.com]

While I know how you feel with the cramping and all of that, I think our culture has a lot to do with how negative women feel about their periods. If it were more talked about or less reacted to like it was a horrible monster, I think we'd be fine. I mean, seriously, what's it tell a little girl when she asks her dad for tampons and he wrinkles his nose and gags? This isn't everyone, of course, but still. I don't understand how humans have developed such negative perceptions of what's totally normal and healthy. I mean, when other mammals have their periods, it's an aphrodisiac! XD

Periods are an inconvenient thing, yes. But they're 100% absolutely totally and unfailingly normal and natural. Except for transgendered/transsexual men, no one should be ashamed of themselves for something like this. :) I hope in time you come to think about your period in less negative terms.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

I know that periods are normal. And natural. And that every (healthy) woman gets it. And my family never made me feel that this was anything to be ashamed of, or disgusted by. I personally think that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and even though society does have an effect, I don't think it's fair to automatically chalk it up to "Oh, society just made you feel that way." No, actually, this is how I feel -- not how anyone else made me feel.

I feel I must reiterate -- I am not ashamed of my period. I simply don't like it. I don't like anything about it.

Until I cease to suffer from the negative side effects, I figure I will keep seeing my period in this manner.

[spiffychicky.livejournal.com]

Oh, I completely agree with you. Girls walk around totally HATING the perfectly natural thing that occurs unfailingly in their body month after month and why? It's as natural as pee-ing. But then you see ads for pads that advertise little cloths to "clean" with so you feel "fresh" and ads for tampons that make them look like candies so no one will have to know you're bleeding (god forbid!!!). It's ingrained. Nobody even thinks of it, but there it is.

[mammothali.livejournal.com]

Periods do suck. I was on the ring for a year and only had a period every 3-4 months. When I got off (it also gave me mood issues) I was so angry to have to deal with my period again. But my cramps are actually better now. The only things I miss are clear skin, infrequent periods, unprotected sex, and... the big boobs :)

Having a sex drive and not being totally moody and depressed, however, trumps it all.

You should definitely look into the IUD, though. I've been thinking about it, too.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

I have big boobs already! BOOYA. ;o)

I have all kinds of things to research now: cloth pads, IUDs....whoot. I'm gonna be busy!

[cordite.livejournal.com]

Totally with you on this one, especially since thanks to my wonderful Depo I've had bleeding for the past ten weeks (which is why I shall not be leaving my doctor's on Monday until he promises me a Mirena!)

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

I refuse to go on Depo after the experience my best friend had with it. I'm not all that anxious to possibly bleed for two months straight; I can barely stand it for five days!

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

Honestly, there's as many different opinions and feelings about menstruation as there are women!

For many women, menstruation is connected to their spirituality, and thus, a positive experience overall. For others, they may choose to appreciate and honour their menstruation as a way of combating the unfair negative views about it that may exist in many societies. For many others, it's simply a time they enjoy for various reasons... an opportunity to reflect on being female, an opportunity to reflect on fertility and adulthood, etcetera.

For me personally... while I truly believe that the negativity surrounding menstruation in society is wrong, and needs to be combated, at the same time I have no positive feelings for my own period... those concepts aren't mutually exclusive. :)

Luckily, I've always had fairly "easy" periods... I don't get noticeable PMS, I've never really had cramps, it's all pretty smooth sailing. However, I just find it an annoyance, and I don't feel any emotional or spiritual connection to it. "Oh good, time to mop blood off the bathroom floor again!"

There's certainly no reason to apologize for not being a fan of menstruation... while I totally cheer on women who enjoy that aspect of their lives, it doesn't mean I have to partake myself. :)

[laura-thrice.livejournal.com]

I've heard of women who make art out of used pads and menstrual blood, and while I'm amazed that they're able to do that, I'll be honest: I don't understand it. I don't even want to be reminded of mine at all, let alone turn it into art. The smell, the sight....it just sickens me.

I don't make menstural art, but look at the passion and disgust that has stirred inside you!! Menstrual art is extremely passionate and emotional. That's why they do it! :)

That and some people just like to play with it..

[br0ken_dolly]

amen, sister. :)

i was actually glad to read your post. because while i think it's cool that some women are utterly empowered by and connected with their periods/cycles, but i simply can't relate.

my period is messy and it's annoying because if i want to have sex it involves towels on the bed and lots of showers and messiness, and that's if *i* am not too grossed out by my own body, let alone my partner! (tho i did luck out with my bf! he's been cool with stuff. bless that man.) i stopped buying white panties YEARS ago.. once i went on bc pills and could control stuff, i branched out and got fancy a bit... but it made me nuts, so i had to go off that.

the smell bugged me when i was younger, too, but if you change pads really often, it's not so bad. plus you don't have to look at it as much. *sigh* and the thought of menstrual cups makes me want to VOMIT. it's bad enough dealing with it locked into a pad or tampon... but a CUP of it??? oh hell NO.

and it's not just my PERIOD, but the week *before* it when my skin sucks so bad that it takes until the *next* round of pms for it to clear up (just for it to get nasty again), and i'm so bitchy i'm lucky my bf doesn't shoot me (tho i've gotten pretty good at hiding and not taking it out on him by avoiding too much talk!)... and i get the "dropsies" so bad that i shatter a beaker in my had at work and nearly sever an artery in the process.

and the week after i worry "is it really over or is it just toying with me??"

i'd love to have my uterus removed. i really would. but no doctor would do that. i've pondered ablation but many doctors seem to think it's not permanent, plus it doesnt help with the hormone fluctuations.

dood. this was the longest lj rant comment in the history of the world. i'm sorry. i guess you hit a nerve :)

but still... amen sister :)

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

*virtual high-five*

i feel your pain. literally.

♥

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of in the middle. My period does have two positive things attached to it, though: one -- its appearance means YAY NO BABY. Even on HBC I always am glad to see it for that reason. Positive thing number 2, though this was more when I wasn't on BC: I would start feeling really blah a day or two before my period and would be like, glah, I can feel it's going to happen soon, but until it does, I will feel like crap. Then it'd start and while I would have cramps and still feel like crap, I would feel so much better once it was done. Every day it didn't come I'd feel more blah. So at least having it would take care of the blah feeling.

However, it's certainly never made me feel a) in touch with my body or b) in touch with the earth, or anything like that. In fact I feel *less* in touch with my body on my period because I'm usually not having fun with my girly bits, or even having any desire to (orgasms make my cramps worse that time of the month, generally).

Blood doesn't remotely bother me, but then again I work in the veterinary field and see it all over the place anyway, heh (on the floors, on my hands, on an animal, on towels, etc.). It's never bothered me. But it's hard to play sports in an uncomfortable pad, I will say that.

So periods... overall... just meh for me. It's cool there's no baby, but I wouldn't mind it lasting for, like, a single day only. I can definitely see how you'd hate it.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

I totally hear what you're saying with the whole "in touch with my body" bit. I always feel...almost detached from my body (especially my vagina) when I'm having my period. Honestly? Have you ever heard the song "Detachable Penis"? I almost wish vaginas were detachable...just for five or six days a month. ;o)

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

My period has gotten less and less annoying as the years, but for personal reasons that are a long story I still hate it.

I also can't stand sticking things up my vagina, so I just live with the disadvantages of pads. But you're totally not alone in not feeling the period love.

It seems like lately I have this aversion to buying pads and keeping them around. Maybe it's just me being forgetful and unprepared, but when I get to the point that I'm running out to the store with a rag in my pants I do start thinking I've devloped a serious antipathy toward menstruation.

But I'm 39, so I guess I don't have much longer. I'll probably get sad and weepy about that too though.

[polyphonicvegan.livejournal.com]

I used to have really god awful periods that came every 18-21 days and were really fucking painful the first two days. That all changed when I started eating two tablespoons of ground flax seeds every day (or one tablespoon of flax oil). I eat in my oatmeal. Easy. Now my periods are normal (every 26-28 days) and the cramps aren't even half as bad and only really bother meo n the first day of my cycle. And I only get PMS when I'm really stressed.

Flax is your friend and, in my opinion, a better option than taking tons of hormones. I don't trust hormone treatments. There's really nothing that can convince me they're safe.

[fiain.livejournal.com]

I have never heard of this flax thing before!

::very interested::

Do you know of any info online or such where I could research this?

[aluvrianne.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was like reading one of my own rants, nearly word for word. I had endo and have PCOS which made my periods a living hell. I'm not sure if I hadn't been as miserable as I was if I would have come to the same conclusions. Menstruation was a living nightmare from my first period. I hated the bleeding, the smell, how physically horrible I felt, the waste of money on pads and tampons, the ruined clothing and bedding. . . . I tried HBC and several other things over a span of about ten years and I just couldn't get things under control (I'd never had a normal cycle and when it came, I'd bleed for weeks at a time. The constant anemia, the sore vag that was always plugged or covered up, poor girl couldn't breathe, and the cramps that k-oed me, I just couldn't stand it.) I had a really rough go at the whole period game.

I finally found a doctor who understood that my "female problems" were completely dictating how I lived and that I was unable to function like a normal person. I had a hysterectomy on 8/31. I'm 26. It's one of the best things I've ever done. Of course, I still get to face menopause when my ovaries finally crap out on me. I wish the best for you.

[shellabelle81.livejournal.com]

I feel the exact same way you do. Except you're lucky that yours skips a month or two every now and again. Mine has been on time every single month since I first got it.

I've never heard of people making art out of it. I couldn't even imagine doing that.

[nosecretlies.livejournal.com]

let me just say: im with you!

[flyingwild.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely with you.

I hate getting my period. It doesn't make me feel womanly, it's nothing more than a huge pain in the ass. I could do very well without the cramps, ruined panties, and huge pads (I've been having tampon issues lately and I just simply don't like the idea of a cup). And don't even get me started on PMS - I'm over-emotional and touchy enough as it is, I really do not need to be crying for no reason at all or wanting to kill people at the drop of a pin!

And of course there is the fact that in the nearly 8 years I've been getting my period, it's never been able to be regular for more than 3-4 months at a time, if I'm lucky. I just finished my period yesterday, but when it finally came? Three weeks late. What the hell, uterus. That's just ridiculous.

Ugh. It's just so annoying and messy and downright inconvenient. Thankfully I should be going on BC soon so that should hopefully help matters some. I really hope so. Because as far as I'm concerned, getting my period is the worst part of being a woman.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

Don't blame your uterus for the lateness, but your ovaries. The time between ovulation and menstruation essentially doesn't vary in an individual women, no matter how irregular her periods are -- it's the time between one menstruation and the next ovulation that can vary immensely.

And that's my random fact of the day in this post. :D

[lotus82.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's perfectly understandable that you feel that way. Period is not meant to be fun =)
I pretty much hate mine, too - I like it for a second, when it just arrived and I can be assured that everything's in working order and I'm not pregnant, and then I just go on hating it. Especially that rotten feeling you described - big time!

[sandi1743.livejournal.com]

have you tried using red raspberry leaf tea?
i found that he did help with the bloating and cramping.
hot cod liver oil packs the week before my period stated also helped to make the cramps and bloating less as well - I have used instead and really enjoyed it as i do not have to worry about the cramps that i would get from using tampons. Having endo and PCOS means that pain, bloating, cramps, etc are all "normal"...got to love old male docs to just told me to "suck it and deal" thankfully i have 2 wonderful docs who have helped me help myself when it comes to dealing with my periods (and for rx the cont hbc so i only have to deal with my periods when i want to...and lets be honest...i really do not like to so i do not!). i know that you said that HBC did not work for you, and some talked about the merina IUD - just check to see if the formulation of progesterone in that is similar to any of your other pills. Also, FYI in some women an IUD can make cramps worse. I think that there is a community here - IUD_Diva (i think) - where they can answer many of your questions.
Also, using wet cloths after using the bathroom helps get rid of that icky feeling!
good luck.

[beachbanshee.livejournal.com]

When I was younger my feelings towards my period were different. It was a right of passage celebrated by the women in my family. Never heavy or uncomfortable just something that women had to deal with. Then getting it meant I was not pregnant, yippee! Then not getting it meant I was pregnant, yippee! I am now in the phase of my life where it is simply a nuisance. Heavy, messy and uncomfortable. I have switched to a Diva and this helps some. I am sick of raging hormones and just about everything associated with getting my period. My baby days are over and I just want it to stop. But at 38 I probably have about 10 years left to deal with this.

[ennyleve.livejournal.com]

i don't think hating your period is remotely antithetical to being a feminist. Being a feminist involves believing that women should have equality with men... and while that normally comes with a healthy dose of body-loving, liking something that's messy and uncomfortable is really totally unrelated... I mean, if some women feel all empowered by their periods that's great, but honestly, i think it's more natural to not be a fan of cramps and leaking blood. (or at least completely in line with our other social perceptions about cleanliness that no one could try to blame on the patriarchy/etc, and thus i still think, totally unrelated to feminist ideals)