Period rant

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

You know, I've read many posts in this and certain other communities, written by girls/women who obviously feel quite positive about this whole period business. I've always marveled at that, because my own feelings about the phenomenon are quite different....



I hate having my period. Okay? Loathe it. In fact, if there were a way for me to stop it permanently, I'd probably do it in a heartbeat. But since I think it would be rather difficult to convince a doctor to perform a full hysterectomy on a healthy 26-year-old just because she doesn't want it anymore...I'm most likely stuck with it, no?

Right now, I'm on the third day of my period. I'm crampy as hell, I'm bloated like a fucking baby beluga, and I'm moody as all get out. I could deal with all that, though, if I didn't feel so dirty. Seriously. I feel rotten, like I could take four showers a day and still not feel clean.

Of course the pad thing only makes it worse, since every time I go to the bathroom I have a visual reminder of what's going on. I know I've got the option to use tampons, but since they make my cramps have cramps, that's really not an option.

I've heard of women who make art out of used pads and menstrual blood, and while I'm amazed that they're able to do that, I'll be honest: I don't understand it. I don't even want to be reminded of mine at all, let alone turn it into art. The smell, the sight....it just sickens me.

I know it's all terribly unfeminist of me and everything, but I honestly cannot stand having my period. When I skip a month (or two, or three), it's not a cause for concern; I'm too busy thanking whatever God may exist that I get to bypass the whole fucking mess for a while.

And I feel like my poor vagina's stuck in the middle of all this. Normally she and I are best friends. I pay her much attention. :) But, when my damn ovaries & uterus decide to make their presence known -- well, the situation gets icy. My vagina and I spend a week each month not being on speaking terms.



I just felt the need to post this tonight. I hope no one's offended by it, but this is the way I feel, so I won't apologize.

Comments

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of in the middle. My period does have two positive things attached to it, though: one -- its appearance means YAY NO BABY. Even on HBC I always am glad to see it for that reason. Positive thing number 2, though this was more when I wasn't on BC: I would start feeling really blah a day or two before my period and would be like, glah, I can feel it's going to happen soon, but until it does, I will feel like crap. Then it'd start and while I would have cramps and still feel like crap, I would feel so much better once it was done. Every day it didn't come I'd feel more blah. So at least having it would take care of the blah feeling.

However, it's certainly never made me feel a) in touch with my body or b) in touch with the earth, or anything like that. In fact I feel *less* in touch with my body on my period because I'm usually not having fun with my girly bits, or even having any desire to (orgasms make my cramps worse that time of the month, generally).

Blood doesn't remotely bother me, but then again I work in the veterinary field and see it all over the place anyway, heh (on the floors, on my hands, on an animal, on towels, etc.). It's never bothered me. But it's hard to play sports in an uncomfortable pad, I will say that.

So periods... overall... just meh for me. It's cool there's no baby, but I wouldn't mind it lasting for, like, a single day only. I can definitely see how you'd hate it.

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

I totally hear what you're saying with the whole "in touch with my body" bit. I always feel...almost detached from my body (especially my vagina) when I'm having my period. Honestly? Have you ever heard the song "Detachable Penis"? I almost wish vaginas were detachable...just for five or six days a month. ;o)

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's a great song, hehe. ;) I also feel less in touch with myself because I don't get to sleep naked while on my period... I have to sleep in a pad and shorts. Nekkidness is fun! And *having* to wear pajamas (instead of choosing to, when *you* want to) is not so fun. And when I saw my boyfriend every day of the month, it was really irritating not being able to have sex with him, even if I didn't feel much like it anyway. He's squicked by blood, and I usually have no sex drive on my period, so he gets blowjobs and it's fine, but I would prefer to not have a few days a month blocked out. Grr. :-P

[rotf-lmao.livejournal.com]

I hate having to wear underwear. I usually don't, but obviously when one is wearing a pad, underwear is more or less required. :op

And the sleeping naked thing...yeah, I hear you there, too.

I just feel so restricted by the whole thing!