Is sex like an addiction?

[lunarcapricorn.livejournal.com]

Do some people really NEED sex? Like they can't function without it?

I would like to have a sex-less relationship, but I've noticed that when we go without for a while, my boyfriend gets more determined to have sex. He starts making dirty comments/jokes, grabbing me, touching me more, etc. He's not the nice man I know, he gets scary. Sometimes I really have to fight him off.

I don't understand it because I can go forever without. Do some people just NEED to have sex?

Comments

[thebohomama.livejournal.com]

The best thing someone else already said is this: Sex is a drug. In all other aspects besides chemically, sex is a drug. Some people can try a drug once, take it or leave it and it doesn't bother them. Others? The first tastes makes them insane. They need it, they desire it. They have to have it. People who wouldn't otherwise be violent or corrupt, liars, cheaters, stealers... become them. Sex can invoke the same qualities in people, only its less extreme.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

While I understand what you're trying to say here, I do think it's important to note that desire for sex, even extremely strong desire (like craving a drug), does NOT make force or coercion okay. It is true that sex can make people do things they normally wouldn't sometimes, but being able to control ourselves is what makes us ethical, adult, thinking sexual people. I'm only saying this to ensure that the OP doesn't interpret your comment to mean that her partner "goes crazy" as a result of wanting sex and therefore should not be held responsible for scaring her or forcing her into sexual situations, though I'm pretty sure that's not where you were going with this comment. :)

[pinkgatorgirl06.livejournal.com]

I don't think she meant that coersion (sp?!) ok. I think she meant that it's natural for humans to crave that feeling. Forcing or guilting someone into haveing sex with you is never ok, but thats my opinion.

[thebohomama.livejournal.com]

I'm just trying to give her an explanation for why he seems like he wasn't being himself. The desire for sex is often like the desire for drugs, and men (and women) can get a little down and dirty. Sex can be both about love AND carnal pleasure. If she feels uncomfortable with him, she should discuss it with him. Often time that is the way people are with sex. Good example, I, hate dirty talk. But some people just absolutely think sex isn't sex without some dirty talk... until you tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I didn't know I needed to add in disclaimers that I condoned sexual coercion or rape ;). Just letting her know it doesn't sound like he is a jerk, just that he really wants/likes sex with her, and he enjoys it as a carnal pleasure.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I understand what you're saying - and if it were just about enjoying sex as a carnal pleasure, I'd be on the same page with you. It's just she said he's being scary and possibly forcing himself on her, so I wanted to clarify that enjoying sex as a carnal pleasure doesn't mean that sort of behavior is okay. Scaring your partner is not something that falls within the "normal" range of behavior, regardless of how much one enjoys or wants sex.

But I do agree that communication with regards to comfort levels and so on is very important, yes.

[pinkgatorgirl06.livejournal.com]

Yup yup, it realeases chemicals in the brain. People can harp all they want about it being about love, but love is a chemical too- technically, we as humans are meant to remate every four years to procreate. Ever wonder why you have to "refall" in love? The seven year itch? etc. There are lots and lots of websites on this and information.

That said- if the boyfriend is forcing it, pushing, guilt tripping her, then it needs to stop.