How to get a man to take direction...

[babity.livejournal.com]

Well...  Its not exactly vagina focused, but it does pertain to my sexuality, and my vagina comes into play there, so its totally on topic, yes?

Anyways, my husband isn't exactly the best kisser.  And the oral sex has actually gone downhill in the course of our relationship.  He just doesn't take any of the subtle hints that all the magazines and websites tell you to use.  How would I go about changing this?

Comments

[neaira.livejournal.com]

Talk to him. Some guys are really lacking in the "take a hint" department... mine definitely is! Don't be judgemental, but front your comments with something like "I like what you did just now, but it REALLY drives me crazy when you do it THIS way!"

;)

[babity.livejournal.com]

That just might work (I have months before this actually happens as he is currently over seas, but it was in my head so I figured might as well talk about it!) Its a little bold for me, but the norm obviously isn't working.

[neaira.livejournal.com]

In my experience, he'll most likely be so into pleasuring you that he won't even notice that you're being more forward than usual.

[jasminelily.livejournal.com]

Stop hinting. In my experience, men do not get hints. At all. Just tell him what you like and what you want him to do.

[oboegoddess.livejournal.com]

Like everyone else said. If he isn't getting it right by himself, tell him what you want him to do.

[briar-witch.livejournal.com]

Be direct (while still being kind). Sometimes that's simply the only way. That way he knows exactly what you want and won't have to guess.

I've noticed that many magazines claim to tell you what a man "really" thinks or wants. I've found, in my relationship with my husband, that's it's more productive to ignore the magazines and simply ask my husband what he thinks and wants. No magazine can ever replace the direct input of my husband when it comes to what he thinks, wants, and does.

[briar-witch.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I love your icon by the way.
:)

[sugarini.livejournal.com]

Like everyone else said, just tell him.

To be more specific, you can steer the conversation towards sex and just start saying stuff like "I would love it if you ____" Or "It is so hot when ____"

[scien.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you just have to talk to him I'm afraid. No shortcuts there. It can be done without insult though.

Here for example is a rather lovely little guide I found (http://www.clitical.com/how-to/kissing.php) on how to train a bad kisser:

from Lou Paget’s book, How to be a Great Lover: Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that will Blow His Mind.

“The best way to address the so-called kissing problem is to show him how you like to be kissed. By following these 4 steps, you could have your perfect kiss as early as tonight:

1. Tell him how much you love to kiss

2. Kiss him the way you love to be kissed so he knows exactly what that feels like.

3. Stop, pull back, and say to him, “Will you show me what it feels like to be kissed by me?”

4. If he kisses you right, make sure he knows how much you enjoyed it and show him how stimulated you feel. Men tend to not forget what gets them results. (If he didn’t do it right, repeat steps 1-3 as may times as necessary.)”

[fadingtogray.livejournal.com]

Talk to him, but know that some things will come with time.

My boyfriend was a pretty terrible kisser when we first met as well. I can't say I ever really talked to him about it other than saying "I don't like it when you do that, or I like it when you do that" but I guess over time our kissing styles have adapted to each other's. I can't even honestly remember what I didn't like about his kissing to begin with at this point :).

As far as oral, that is an area where you should be more direct about what you do and do not like. My boy tends not to forget the things that drive me most crazy, so he's actually pretty happy when I let him know exactly what I want. :D