Friend with insecurities about low sex drive

[betterbebalboa.livejournal.com]

Hi wonderful vagpag members!

I'm writing on behalf of a good friend. We've recently started talking openly about our sexuality, and it's a bit odd because we're very different people. I love sex, marathon sex sessions, sexual experimentation, oral sex (I actually really enjoy giving blowjobs), dom/sub play including switching roles, the works. She doesn't really understand or feel comfortable yet with her sexuality, and while she's had sexual experiences, she considers herself relatively asexual and uninterested in sex. I feel like BOTH our situations are normal, healthy female understandings of sexuality, and that we can both be really happy in our own self-understanding. However, she feels differently: she views herself as "broken" and "bad at sex" because of her response to sexuality. This makes me really sad, because I don't see anything at all broken or bad about her.

One thing she views as a problem is her inability to masturbate, because she doesn't get turned on when her boyfriend is not around. As she sees it, she can't ever expect someone else to please her if she can't please herself. In my case, I did take the learn-to-give-myself-an-orgasm-first route, but I think it's perfectly fine if her sexual exploration is something she does with a partner rather than on her own.

Another problem she has is difficulty talking about sex with her boyfriend, mostly because she's uncomfortable with the whole idea and doesn't know what she wants. This means that her past sexual experiences felt a little coerced to her, or at least like she had very little control over what was going on, because she just let her partner take charge. Of course, this makes her less than eager to try again, at least not for a long time--which is also totally cool, and she should wait as long as she wants before she tries again.

The good news is that we both ended up with someone perfect for us--me with a lovely sex-crazed fiend, her with a physically passive and, well, not-sex-crazed partner who's happy to take things as absolutely slow as she wants. So there's no urgency to "fix" anything. I'm just afraid that with the attitude I hear her taking, she'll end up feeling like she doesn't "deserve" to have good physical experiences, because she's somehow "broken" and will never figure out what she wants anyway. How can I help boost her confidence about being who and how she is?

First period stories are fun!

[lynsey18.livejournal.com]

....because most every women has one. Nothing really embarrassing for me really. I was like SUPER ULTRA prepared because I was 15 (almost 16) at the time. WHen I finally did get it, i just politely excused myself from class and took care of my business. Actually probably the most embarrassing thing about my first period was that my little sister got hers first (and boobs, too. actuallly i am STILL waiting for those. grrrrrr!) and everybody was making a big deal about it. It seriously bothered me but after a few months of "womanhood" i quickly realized that I was the lucky one. LOL

soooo yeah, i thought it would be fun to share stories. What's yours?

Uncooperative Vagina

[hope-lecks.livejournal.com]

Hi VPers ~

I just have a quick question. I've had a YI for a week or so and I tried to treat it myself, that didn't work (shocking.) Anyway, I went to the doctor and she prescribed me Diflucan AND said that I might have a little bacterial overgrowth and wrote me a prescription for Metrogel. She said don't start taking the metrogel right away, wait a few days and then if I'm still having problems use the metrogel.

So, my question is....what's my cue to use the metrogel? I'm still having a general yucky feeling going on down there and I'm set to take the last Diflucan pill today. There's a little discharge but it's more consistent with a YI than any of the BV symptoms I've read. I've never had BV before. Is there anything to be gained/lost by just using the metrogel to get this thing OVER? Thanks!!

Vaginal tearing/irritation

[kimblast.livejournal.com]

* I am going to see the doctor tomorrow.

On Friday my boyfriend and I had sex 4 times during a 7-hour period. Before being successful during the 4th time, he had tried entering me from the back. I was very dry at that point and only the head of his penis went inside but it hurt like no other. So we waited and tried again. The sex was good, but slightly painful.

On Saturday night I felt a stinging pain below my vagina. I noticed extremely small dots of blood on my underwear. There have been none since. The pain is only at that external point, the area right outside the bottom of my vagina. It hurts to walk and it stings like heck when urine passes over that area. I checked myself in the mirror and that area is now swollen. :/

Any suggestions on reducing the pain that I am feeling right now? I am going to see my doctor tomorrow. I am hoping to stay infection-free. My partner and I are both STI-free so I do not believe this is an STD. Of course I will be abstaining from sex until I am fully healed.

And those who have experienced this before, how long did it take you to heal?

WHERE IS MY SEX DRIVE GONE!!

[penguin6.livejournal.com]

ive been on the pill about 7 or 8 months now, since then ive gained about half a stone and my sex drive is next to nothing and i havent had a real orgasim since summer.
not to mention mood swings and how depressed ive bn lately-but im not sure if tis the pill or just me getting upset over not being able to lose weight.
ive heard stuff on the internet, about how the pill makes your sex drive disappear and its never goes back to the way it was even when you come off it.
is this true?

i posted before about how i was considering coming off the pill for a short time, but im not considering coming off the pill for good or at leats try a different one, so i can get my sex drive back!ill be going back to the doctor in about a month and half to get my next load of pills, but honestly should i just make an appointment sooner?
(im using the pill called microlite incase your wondering..)

thanks girls!
xxx

Update- Vasectomy Talks

[bellazoemom.livejournal.com]

I had my big talk this weekend. We had some down time after the kids were in bed so I asked him to check his email. I had emailed him stories I found and info/websites on vasectomies..even pictures. LOL He read everything and was actually very surprised how fast it was (usually 7-15 minutes). After he read it I asked him what he thought about everything he read. He said he wasn't really worried about me getting pregnant. So we talked about the fact that I am not on any type of hormones and I am having periods..etc etc. I reminded him about another couple we know that had adopted 2 kids and she got pregnant several years later. We look over my labs that show I am functioning normally now. Then I asked him if there was anything AT ALL inside him that would make him want another child. He quickly answered no. He said..let me think about all this. A few hours later he says "I am going to schedule it for my break". I asked him if he was sure. I asked him why he decided to do it..was it for me, or was it because he knew he didn't want more children. He said he was doing it because he didn't want more children and he surely didn't want to have to wear condoms. LOL I told him "maybe we should wait a little longer (break comes up in a few weeks) and really think about it." I knew I would be upset once the choice had been made. It's hard to say for sure you will NEVER give birth when you have wanted to do it so badly. I told him he would need to be alot stronger than me..because I know it will be hard to, once again, medically take it off the table. He said I should consider it already done as he would not be changing his mind. I cried..alot. He was comforting and wonderful and we will be fine:)


In the end, what is best for my family is what will happen and he has realized that my body has changed and we are now needing to be careful and aware until this is done.

Thank you for all the advice. Many of you were right about what I needed to do..you girls are awesome!

Colposcopy/pap question.

[melodic-lyrics.livejournal.com]

Hi Ladies!

Today I had a colposcopy because of an abnormal pap I had back in november. During the colposcopy the doctor gave me a pap smear AND took a biopsy. Why would this be? I was expecting a biopsy of the abnormal cells, but why another pap smear?

Anyhow, he said over all my cervix looks pretty normal, but I have mild dysplasia.

So...any insight you guys might have would be great! Thanks.

Update!

[justreadmyspine.livejournal.com]

A couple of people told me to update when I found out if I was pregnant or not, so here I am!

I'M PREGNANT! :D

I'm about 7 weeks along now, and getting an internal ultrasound on Wednesday. Anyone ever had one of those before?

Either way, my husband and I are really excited about all of it :)

Possible Pre-Cum, Possible Pregnancy?

[lunderpope.livejournal.com]

I know that it is really rare to become pregnant from pre-cum, but today, my boy and I got a little carried away and he went inside for probably less than a minute. This is the first time ever without a condom (we didn't have any). He only pumped once or twice, but I'm still nervous that I could possibly become pregnant (I'm not on any form of birth control, besides the usual condoms). My question is, how long does it take to find out (when should I take a test?). My period should start in by next Monday, if I get it, does that mean I'm not pregnant, or will it effect next month's period? I think taking EC might be a bit drastic, since he didn't really stay in too long, but what do you think? Please Help!