I don't know if this is the place for it, but I need help

[angi-is-altered.livejournal.com]

About 4 years into our marriage, I found out my husband was wearing my underwear and bras. He was also involved with an on-line sex community. I did not handle it well.  I am pretty understand,but I felt betrayed. Anyways, we have now been married 11 years. He dropped the community,but he still wears my underwear. I know this but he refuses to talk about it.

Today my 4 year old daughter made a horrifying discovery of many of my underthings hidden under my dresser. They were all dirty. Now you have to understand I HATE dirty clothes and do the wash every single day. My only deduction is that they were used by my husband. 

Now I have the task of bringing this up with him. I don't want to be angry but I am pretty upset my daughter found them and touched them. I ran her to the bathroom and scrubbed her hands.

Should I bring it up tonight or wait a few days and then bring it up. What do I say? I am in a unconformable spot here.

Any suggestions,advice will be helpful.

Comments

[makale-83.livejournal.com]

Not a big deal that he wears women's underthings. It IS a big deal that he wears YOURS and then DOESN'T WASH THEM. I would be upset about that too!!

I would just bring it up after your daughter goes to bed and say something like, If you want to continue your habit of wearing women's underwear - you have to go buy your own. You are not permitted to wear mine ANYMORE, and if I find anymore of my things in my drawers DIRTY then XYZ will happen.

Obviously XYZ is up to you.