Masturbation and Orgasm

[ska-loo1600.livejournal.com]

Please forgive the dummy account, but this is a little embarrassing for me to post on my normal account. Also, I'm so sorry, but the tags wouldn't work for me. 

I'm 22 years old, in a serious and monogamous relationship, and have been sexually active since I was 16. Despite having enjoyable sexual encounters, I have never reached orgasm. Never with oral, PIV, etc. It feels great but I never reach orgasm. Of course, I have no idea what it would feel like if I did, so I don't know if I'm getting close or not. My partner is willing to take all the time I need, but I tend to get frustrated and would rather get on with the main event.

All this being said, I've also never masturbated. Not due to lack of trying, though. I get myself fully comfortable, relaxed, and then I can't get turned on. This isn't a problem when I'm with my partner. I've tried using the bathtub, vibrators, fingers, etc, and nothing works. If my partner and I decide to masturbate mutually, I start off turned out because he's been touching me, but then as soon as I touch myself, I lose all of that turned on feeling. 

Basically, I want to know how to turn myself on and reach orgasm on my own, so that I know how to get there during sex with a partner. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? I don't have anyone to talk to about this in my life right now, but I know that the wonderful people at VP will be supportive and non-judgmental. Thank you in advance!

Comments

[retronymical.livejournal.com]

Well, do you know what turns you on? That might be part of the problem, and you may need to experiment. Some people like to fantasize, and some people like to watch or read something to help them along. Do you have any specific fetishes?

[ska-loo1600.livejournal.com]

I think this is part of my problem. I haven't really ever gotten turned on during porn, and as far as I can tell, I don't have any fetishes. I may need to explore this more. Also, I have gotten a little excited when reading erotica (? the short stories in the back of Cosmo, ha) so maybe that could be an option. Thank you!