[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_paganprincess/ posting in [community profile] vaginapagina
Im really starting to think somthing is WRONG with me.. Im 8 months post partum and everytime me and my husband attempt to have sex it hurts. It hurts when he penetrates acouple of inches( i was always under the understanding that you only have nerves in the bottum 2 inches of your vagina so im confused!) Its really hard to describe it feels like burning/stinging and just that I cant let him go any further becase it hurts to much.

It also stings and hurts to use lube?? I have no idea why...

has anyone had this? know what it is? any advice/ideas

some background:

1st baby
vaginal delivery
i had a 2nd degree rip/no epi. and lots of stitches which i thought healed well I had no pain.
I exclusivly breastfeed my infant.

Thanks in advance for any comments!

Date: 2010-11-16 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] possessedrabbit.livejournal.com
It hurts for me a lot of the time, too :( Sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it does. It seems I'll go a while with no pain, then a while with pain, then a while without pain... I never thought about it.

It doesn't feel like stinging for me, though, it feels like... someone poking hard until it hurts, only it's already to the point and he's just poking it more.

I could not figure out a way to make that not sound dirty.

Date: 2010-11-16 11:44 pm (UTC)
kuangning: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kuangning
Where does it hurt? If the pain is when he "bottoms out" as it were, that might be your cervix. If the pain is near the entrance of your vagina, though, that might be where he's pressing against your stitches. If your husband's thicker on the shaft than at the head, the head might slip in but the shaft press against your stitches, and that would explain it being only when he's an inch or two in. (I had that issue with my firstborn. The tear was jagged, the stitching was uneven, and the doctor, probably out of misguided concern for my ex's pleasure, sewed up further than was strictly necessary so I was tight. Result? More than a year later, sex was still painful unless we went extremely slowly, I re-tore the area slightly a few times, and I still get occasional twinges where the stitches were -- and that child is now fourteen years old.) Changing positions might help; try with you on top, since that way you can control the depth and angle.

Date: 2010-11-16 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draiochta-faol.livejournal.com
It's gonna hurt for a while. Try a water based lube or something like Astroglide (the best thing ever after I gave birth to my first child).

Basically, your body is still adjusting to not being pregnant. Use more lube than you think you will need and take it slow. I never needed lube until the first 6-8 months after I gave birth. I was dry, couldn't get myself wet for anything, and it was pretty painful to have sex. The astroglide we had was given to me as a joke, but man did it come in handy. We used 1/2 the bottle (pretty big bottle too) before I started to feel like myself again.

Date: 2010-11-16 11:52 pm (UTC)
archangelbeth: An egyptian-inspired eye, centered between feathered wings. (Eye in the Pyrawings)
From: [personal profile] archangelbeth
You may have one or more of several things going on:

1) Reduced lubrication and/or thinned vaginal tissue, due to hormone changes from breastfeeding. Extra lube and going slowly, with lots of foreplay, would be the things to try for this.

2) Potential for yeast infection, or BV! Get checked by a doctor?

3) Scar tissue! I had a c-section, but somehow got some "blood blister" abscesses vaginally anyway. They were lanced at the gyno's (which hurt a lot; the novocain or whatever it was... was not working well!), and for many months after, initial entry would have some degree of pain or discomfort -- basically, the tip of his penis would hit the back of my vagina, where the scars were, and they didn't take kindly to that. Over years, this has become a non-problem.

If it's scar tissue, I'd talk with a doctor and ask if there's any creams you can use vaginally to facilitate healing. I'd also try having your spouse do gentle fingering, and see if you two can figure out if it's hurting all around, or just where the scar tissue is. It's possible that you can find a position where entry doesn't bash against the scar. Your husband probably has a curve to his penis of some degree (having a slight curve is the norm, far as I know), and you may be able to adjust y'all's relative positions so that the curve is not positioned to poke you in sore spots.

4) Vaginismus. This is a blink-reflex of the vaginal muscles, tightening up in anticipation of pain, and to try to prevent penetration. Depending on how your birthing experience was, your vagina (and/or your subconscious) may be going, "Do not want anything in there! Ever! Again!" And it'd have to re-learn that, no, really, sometimes this is great fun. For this, ideally you'd want a Pelvic Pain Specialist, but if you wanted to try treating it "on the cheap," comments on http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/19126649.html have both some suggestions for things you could do at home, and a link to a probably-even-more-useful site about vaginismus. (Even if you do not currently have vaginismus, try to avoid having painful penetration, so you don't develop it...)

I hope something here helps!

Date: 2010-11-17 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-gersemi.livejournal.com
I always have issue number 1) post-partum. Every single time. Hmpf. Lube doesn't help because, as the OP said, it stings, too.

Most of the time I just push past the pain/discomfort and then it's good, although I'm very sore afterwards. :/

Date: 2010-11-17 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] may-third.livejournal.com
It took my sister a while to get back into the swing of having non-painful sex after she had her first baby...She felt the same things more or less that you're describing. She didn't really do anything special but she did start exercising a lot more and instead of using synthetic lube she started using coconut oil. It has healing/soothing properties and can be used on bruises/burns, etc, so she found that really helpful. And she used A LOT of it.

If you wanna try coconut oil both my sister and I (I've never given birth) recommend Nutiva organic extra virgin coconut oil. It revitalized her sensitive parts after giving birth, and for me has been EXTREMELY helpful/has revolutionized my sex life.

Worth a try, hope you feel better :)

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