Oral Sex vs Sensitive Nosed Boyfriend

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. I just joined today, and I read thru pages of postings here, and didn't really find an answer to my question. It may come off as making my boyfriend sound horrible, or make me sound icky, but he's really not, and I'm not either...it's just this one issue we (I) have:
He rarely ever has oral sex with me. And I do it often for him. He says he just has a really sensitive nose, and the smell puts him off. :( This worries me, because I use feminine wash and bathe on a regular basis, so I'm pretty sure I'm healthy. I was wondering if there is a better wash out there that can make the scent...I dunno..something he might prefer...like citrus...(my mother pretty much never explained things to me when I was younger and had to discover the joys of menstruation, wash, and sex all by myself without any direction, and I don't really have any friends to consult about this). I just really miss oral sex. My last boyfriend was all about it, and never seemed to mind my scent. So I figure it must be an issue of the current one.

Sorry if this was covered some place that I missed. And thanks for taking the time to read. :)

Comments

hmmm

[sandramort.livejournal.com]

Maybe he minds the smell of the perfume in the wash stuff? I can't stand it myself -- makes woman's genitals smell like bad air freshener. I'd gag if I had to put my face near that, too! LOL! A vagina doesn't need special "wash" anyway. It's not really very good for your body to use chemicals on such sensitive tissue. Maybe shower just before sex?

ah yes

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

I did notice that the few times he has had oral sex with me was right after I showered and when I didn't use the wash...and when he's been drinking. : shrug : Good point, thanks!

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I have exactly the same issue. I'm slightly strong-smelling (probably because I drink coffee) but not icky. It's just that the boy I live with has an extremely sensitive nose. I don't use "feminine wash" -- it's no better than gentle soap (sometimes worse, if it's scented) but soap's not good for my vulva either. And "feminine wash" is usually more expensive than soap.

Two things that I've found work best for me and the boy I live with are having oral sex fresh out of the shower, the moment I'm out and drying off, or using a tiny bit of very neutral-tasting lube on my vulva. It sort of dilutes it. At any rate, given his nose, I wouldn't expect him to go down on me if I'm more than an hour out of the shower.

(One reason I know my pussy's fine, just a little strong, is that my other boyfriend says that's the case.)

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, didn't think about that at all... I drink coffee as well . :/ Damn the caffiene addiction.

[irememberaurora.livejournal.com]

any guy that's gone down on me prefers the taste of vagina to the taste of douched/'washed' vagina. but also there are lots of men who just don't enjoy giving oral sex, which can suck for their girlfriends. bribe him somehow. ;)

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Hehehe. Yah, indeed sucks. (or lack of suckage)

[septembergrrl.livejournal.com]

I just really miss oral sex. My last boyfriend was all about it, and never seemed to mind my scent. So I figure it must be an issue of the current one

I don't want to get into the relationship counseling aspects, but this is your boyfriend's issue, not yours. If you bathe regularly and don't have some kind of funky infection (which you would have noticed), you smell fine and natural. The vulva is not *supposed* to smell like citrus, dammit.

(You might want to lay off the feminine wash, BTW. It's not necessary, and it can lead to infections.)

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wasn't aware of that. Thanks much. I'm heading to the bathroom right now to toss it out.

[pillu.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with this poster, If your so worried about your smell, stop using the feminine wash and douches etc. they make you smell worse. Sleep without underwear, to let your vulva breathe, smell yourself.....he may just be using it as an excuse. He could be smelling the purfume, or he might just be weird.

But if you want oral, and hes not giving it up, I wouldnt be giving it to him if im not receiving.

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

: Snickers : Very good points. I sleep nude, and I do believe that there will be a cease fire on all oral happenings until some is returned.

And the wash is already in the trash. ;)

[pillu.livejournal.com]

:D Sleeping nude rocks........I was taught at a young age, never wear underwear to bed, it makes you smell and bras are bad for your breasts when you wear them to bed. YAY mum :D

Also, I just thought of this, sometimes when I dont wipe myself properly after going to the bathroom i get a little smelly, maybe you should use unscented baby wipes instead of toilet paper to prevent smellies.

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Oh yaaah....See now? Crap like this is what pisses me off about my mother...She never told me a thing! I always wondered why there were unscented baby wipes in her bathroom, ARGH! :: glares and stomps off :: I'm 22 friggin' years old and have to find this out from lovely people in a lj community, what crap. Thanks so much for shedding some light on things. Everyone has been ever so responsive and helpful! :)

[pillu.livejournal.com]

I mostly use them because I'm a clean freak. I ussualy wipe with one before I think i might be getting anything from my fiance hehe. Just to ensure I smell fresh and look fresh.

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

well, I greatly appreciate the tips. I'll be utilizing everything I've learned immediately! :)

[pillu.livejournal.com]

good luck!

[ourika.livejournal.com]

That unscented baby wipes thing isn’t a huge, commonly passed on thing by moms. I use it. I started using it by accident, though. I lived with my sister (who had a baby), so we always had baby wipes around the house. We used them for everything because they were always there. When I moved to a dorm room, I kept a box on my desk. I used it to wipe my hands since there was no sink readily available if I was eating chips. Iused it to clean the soda that someone spilled on my floor. Etc. And it just sort of ended up that I used it after masterbation one day. I was so happy :-) When I got my own place, I put a box in the bathroom.

Since that first time after masterbation, I started using it after sexual encounters. Every partner that I’ve introduced the idea to has thought it was great and wished they’d thought of it sooner! *giggles* There are several women out there now happily sharing the idea with their newest partners. Yay to babywipes.

If I think I may be getting amorous soon, the next time I use the bathroom, I wash my genitals with some water from the faucet (no soap). Sort of rinse ‘em down. And if it’s later in the day, I’ll also change my panties.

I’ve noticed that using various kinds of pads and such tend to make my smell stronger – sometimes to a point that even I don’t like. I think it’s whatever is in the pads reacting with my body. Plain cotton panties (or at least cotton crotches) may also affect you.

I’ve also been told that certain foods (I can’t think of them) will affect your taste/smell. I don’t know how true it is, but citrus is said to be good and garlic and coffee and such are said to be bad. I gave up coffee. Sadness ensued. I drink it once every few weeks now to maek me happy (it’s not a smell thing, it’s a tummy thing that involves needing to take pills in order to survive my every now and then coffee experience). You’d have to REALLY want to make a change in order to miss that yummy, dark goodness!

[angeleyes-05.livejournal.com]

I agree..sometimes when I come home after school and go pee, I'll smell fine. But then after like ten or twenty minutes, I begin to get a fishy smell. I guess it's because sometimes I don't wipe myself good after I go to the bathroom. Good point!

[sourgirli.livejournal.com]

or maybe your boy is like my ex who would never go down on me and told me it smelled bad. i like my new boy better *grin*.

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Lucky girl. ;)

[bohica-susfu.livejournal.com]

Amen to that! My last one was a total whiner about it and used smell/taste as an excuse. I talked to some of his exes, and apparently he gave them all the same excuse too.

Lucky for me, the current one says I'm one of the better smelling/tasting girls he's ever know! So, there goes that bit of self-consciousness.

[minniemoonshine.livejournal.com]

As someone else mentioned, what you eat (ie coffee) can have a big influence on how you smell. Aparently vegetarians have a different smell, and I imagine the amount of sugar and dairy products can influence it in a way too. Maybe do some research on this aspect of it.

Or give your partner something strong smelling to put on the skin directly under his nostrils (like a diluted essential oil or a bit of tiger balm {as long as he doesn't get it on your muscous membranes}). Thank should block out any other smell in the room.

[kimberkid.livejournal.com]

VEGETARIANS TASTE BETTER!!!! *grin* (4 outta 5 cannibals and cunt-lickers agree) *grin*

[sooz.livejournal.com]

word to that!!!!!!!


well not ones that are totally into asparagus.. but ew :P

[emerald87418.livejournal.com]

i tasted like butterscotch before i went on the pill :)
..my boyfriend of 2 years still calls me that, half a year after i went on the pill...

[americanbeauty.livejournal.com]

Something that my ex did...he always had a can of mountain dew or some other pop beside him. It was good for him to wash some of the taste out of his mouth (and cusion the smell too) and it was nice for me because of the temperature change from his cold mouth. Then eventually he just got used to it.

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

iiiiinteresting...

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

Aaah! I just have to point out that taking a drink of Dew (or anything sugared) and then continuing oral sex is a really bad idea if you're prone to yeast infections (or probably even if you're not). Cold water would work though, or seltzer or something.

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

thanks thanks. very good point.

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to reiterate that putting scented stuff in and around your vagina is usually bad, but especially "feminine washes" or douches. It can upset the natural balance of bacteria and things in your vagina and cause infections. That said, the best way to keep clean - warm water and your fingers, in the shower, maybe with some mild soap *only on the outside* (your vulva) if you feel you need it. I second the recommendation of unscented baby wipes sometimes when you feel like you want to clean up a bit.

Foods that might make you more strong smelling include meat, coffee, asparagus, brussel sprouts, and sometimes spicy food. Pineapple is supposed to help sweeten your taste. Mostly though, just make sure you're hydrated, eating right, and letting your vulva breathe. If you're doing those things and you don't have an infection, then there's nothing wrong iwth your smell - it's probably your boyfriend's sensitivity, not your scent that's the problem.

I'm sorry your mom wasn't very helpful with the whole growing-up-and-keeping-you-informed thing, but if you hang out here for a while you will learn a lot of things your mom never told you really quickly, I bet. :)

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

I greatly appreciate the wonderful advice, I have learned so much already in the few short hours I've been a member! Thanks for the tips, and I will most certainly be an avid reader from now on!

[sadiedecayed.livejournal.com]

my boy was the exact same way, and i made quite a few posts here and other places about it. my kitty was feeling quite upset and neglected. i don't know what changed, but he doesn't think it smells or feels weird down there any more, and goes at it quite often. don't let it make you feel weird and just try to talk to him about it, cause sometimes guys just have issues with it and need to be worked into it. do you eat a lot of meat? i'm mostly vegetarian and i've heard here and there that lack of meat sometimes helps w/smells and/or tastes. i dunno, the post above or a few posts up with tips on what to eat seemed a lot more helpful. take care. xo

[purrrplekitty.livejournal.com]

Have you tried putting a dab of flavored lube down there before he goes down on you? Lucky for me, my hubby loves to perform oral sex, but I'm not so excited about it. I picked up some grape flavored body candy one time and went to town on him. lol He's used it on me a few times as well. There were no side effects except for being a little sticky afterwards.

[foreverlost18.livejournal.com]

some guys like to do it but some don't. i wouldn't be too worried about it. and if his nose is relaly sensitive, plug his nose. lol. sorry. i dont know what to say about that. sorry i'm not much help

[seiva-sadism.livejournal.com]

Tell him to breathe through his mouth.
It might be distracted-cunnilingus but it's viable.

no one has mentioned this but...

[azrielle.livejournal.com]

Have you noticed that your scent is different in the past few months at all?

I was dating a new boy a few years ago and noticed that my vagina gradually started smelling stronger. I didn't feel burning, or have an extra amount of discharge...everything looked alright and I had no STDs but what I didn't know and found out after a my yearly papsmear is that I had Bacterial Vaginosis. It's a fairly common infection and can be triggered if your boy's Ph level and your Ph level don't jive that well together. It might be something to think about? Who knows? I mentioned it to my boy cause I noticed the smell and noticed that he wasn't going downtown too often anymore, he agreed that there was a stronger smell(but hadn't said anything to hurt my feelings)... it was cleared up quickly with meds, I started using condoms with that guy (since I seemed to be "allergic" to his semen)and was getting me some oral loving again in no time.

If everything is cool and you have no infection then showering before, the baby wipes and cutting out the douching might help. I used to douche and it didn't do anything for me but make me taste unclean in my opinion, and in fact the douching made my bv worse! Maybe even trimming your pubic hair could help, if you don't already shave...hair tends to hold scents...

Whatever you do, or don't do...I will send happy oral sex vibes your way! ;)

Re: no one has mentioned this but...

[xvmoonchildvx.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks so much for the friendly advice and the fantastic vibes being sent, heheh! I do shave, and I am going to look into perhaps BV being the culprit if the baby wipes don't seem to solve my woes. Thanks !

Please don't flame me

[dafadddu.livejournal.com]

Some guys just do not like to give oral. I really despise the attitude that you shouldn't give a guy oral (if you like to do it) just because he doesn't like to give oral.

I just don't see sex as a give/take kind of thing. I give pleasure, I receive pleasure. I'm not picky on what kind of pleasure it is. And trying to force my husband to do something for me that turns him off, or that he just plain doesn't enjoy, will not improve the situation one bit.

Maybe he just plain has a sensitive nose. I do too, and sometimes I smell funky strong. I know I'm clean, but sometimes my vagina just smells extremely strong, musky. I don't like it when I smell that strong.

Just a question (because I saw the suggestion in a pervious post): if it were you that didn't like giving oral, would you find it acceptable if he decided to deny you pleasure until you wized up and did it for him? Somehow, I don't think so.

Maybe I'm just weird, but I hate the idea that men must do everything for a woman, whether he wants to or not. I find it just as bad an attitude as men who treat women like slaves.