Why can't I finish/come?

[spiffygirlx.livejournal.com]

No matter how hard I try, or how much time is spent, either with my boyfriend or by myself, I can't seem to finish/come.

I get really close I think, my body shakes and I get hot and sweat, it starts feeling like I'm going to explode, to the point of discomfort....yet...no come. I've varied techniques: speeding up makes it uncomfortable, slowing down just prolongs the excitement; I can't seem to find a happy medium.

Boyfriend takes his time and is really concerned with making me happy, so I'm starting to sense that he feels...not so good...about not getting me to come. In return, I feel bad, though I can't help it.

Anyone else have this problem? What are some tips to help get me to finish?

Comments

[urbanxassault.livejournal.com]

Are you using penetration alone? Or are you using clitoral stimulation? Ir both? Because I know for me personally, I'll get to that point with penetration but nothing actually happens. I have to have clitoral stimulation to finish.

[acerzen.livejournal.com]

since you've never had an orgasm I am going to make some assumptions but please correct me if I am wrong. I think it is possible that you are putting too much pressure on yourself to orgasm a specific way? Some women orgasm by clit stimulation only, or penetration only or with a combination. Some people orgasm in different ways depending on their mood or what feels good every time.

I have found that my sexuality, libido and things that have turned me on has developed/changed/evolved/devolved? through out the years. What used to get me off each and every time might only work if I had no other option for an uncomfortable amount of time (a week or more). I just don't even try that old way anymore.

So, you never know. It could be something as simple as no penetration or more lube or not touching the clit until you start to get really aroused.

FWIW I did not have my first (awake) orgasm until I was about 23 (though I did have wet dreams).

[spiffygirlx.livejournal.com]

I've attempted just a few different ways, so it's possible that that's it. It's a nuisance though because my boyfriend wants me to help him get me to finish...while I'm like, honey I don't even know how.

[asianonymous.livejournal.com]

I also experience this. :(

[bernthewitch.livejournal.com]

A little out of left field, but are you on any psychotropic medication currently? SSRIs and anti-depressants in general are widely known to affect ones ability to ... finish off. I had a boyfriend a few years ago who, although he could get aroused, could never come mainly due to the anti-depressants he was on. It was deeply frustrating to him (although I thought it wasn't too bad as we used to fuck like rabbits for hours and hours...). Ok that sounded a little selfish but meh, he was an arse.

If not, then... I dunno. How about the pressure - I mean actual touching pressure. I know that even if I want to explode i can't because I am or my husband is applying the wrong pressure. Too heavy and I want to claw my eyes out, too little and I don't feel anything.

Have you tried the water technique? You know, take the shower head / faucet and direct stream of water onto lady bits? That's supposed to work a charm if you're having difficulty with the actual end result.

Good luck. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help.

[tornattheelbo.livejournal.com]

are you on any medications for anxiety, ADD, depression? Most drugs in this class are known for this specific side effect, called anorgasmia.

[spiffygirlx.livejournal.com]

No drugs ):

[bachlava.livejournal.com]

Have you tried using a vibrator? Some women (myself included) just have a very difficult or impossible time climaxing without clitoral stimulation of an intensity that fingers, mouths, and other things alone just can't generate.

[1girl.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. It's pretty easy to throw a vibrator into the mix during regular sex play. If you can get into a position where you don't need to support your weight, you can use a vibrator while he's doing the thrusting, or you could even buy a vibrating cock ring. What my boyfriend and I tend to do is to let him finish (which usually gets me very close) and then he touches me while I use a vibrator to finish. I find it very intimate, and we like it!