Why do we always freak? Discussion

[katastrophe1187.livejournal.com]

I have been a member of vaginapagina for about a year now. It is one of my favorite sites and has helped me in more ways than one many times. However,I always notice that there are freak out posts. Late periods, pregnancy symptoms, fear of pill not working etc. Now I'm not ragging on anyone, I have posted a number of those posts myself. What I want to know is why do we do it? We are all smart, sophisticated, modern day people, so why when something isnt right do we assume pregnancy? Why is it the worst thing that can happen? Why can't we think clearly even though we know we are being irrational?

I dont know. Does it have something to do with society? And how pregnancy is percieved? Or how abortion has been red flagged as "the evilest of evils?" Are we subconsciously playing into the hands of those who want us to be afraid, despite knowing better?

As I said I don't know. But I know I hate myself after I have a "freak attack," I just want to know if anyone else out there feels the same or understands what I am saying.

Comments

[as-she-melts.livejournal.com]

For me, my current pregnancy scare (yes, posted about in vagpag twice) is about money. I don't have money for a kid OR an abortion. I just can't afford health care, and I'm saying that as someone with great insurance in the U.S. Despite having insurance, I can't afford to see a psychiatrist so I can get some antidepressants, let alone an *elective* procedure like an abortion. It's stupid as hell for me to do anything that could get me even close to pregnant, because I can't afford school, I can't afford rent, and I sure as shit can't afford to pay for an abortion. The idea that I might have to *stop buying groceries* in order to pay for an abortion is terrifying--not the notion of abortion itself.

I realize that the National Abortion Fund exists, as well as some state funds, but honestly I don't feel like I should get any of that money. I'm white, cis-gender, Ivy-educated, health insured, able-bodied, etc. etc. etc., and I feel that the NAF should be used by women who are less privileged than myself. I live in NYC where I am not limited by hard to get to providers. I can't put an abortion on my insurance, however, as I am still insured by my mother's employer. She's pro-choice and very supportive, but she dropped out of law school when she was only a few months older than I am right now in order to have me. I just feel like if she could do it (and she's an amazing woman, btw), I should be able to, too. But I'm not able to. I'm just not. It's the only thing I've never been able to tell her.

Maybe that's another reason right there. My partner is kinda "eh" about the whole thing, I can't tell my mom (who is my bff), and I'm new to the city and have no friends here. It fucking sucks. Of course I'm panicking. I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you, OP, it's just that this is (obviously) something I've been thinking a lot about in recent days.

[as-she-melts.livejournal.com]

Re: the psychiatrist. I did give natural antidepressant recommendations to someone in an earlier post from "my psychiatrist." I went to one appointment and found out she didn't participate with my insurance. I had to put the $300 appointment on my credit card D:

[crucibelle.livejournal.com]

I feel so bad for you that you cannot get the anti-depressants that you need. As someone who suffers from severe depression, that just breaks my heart. Is it possible that there is a psychiatrist in your area that does accept your particular insurance? I wish you the best, and I hope you are able to obtain the medication you need in the near future.

[as-she-melts.livejournal.com]

I've been working on finding an affordable psychiatrist, but it's hard when my tiny insurance company is in the midwest and I'm in New York. Hardly anyone is in "the network," whatev that means. I'm sure there's someone I could find, it's just that... that... I LOVED the $300 psych so so so much. She's positively brilliant--she specializes in anxiety/depression as well as pelvic pain and vulvodynia. It's like she materialized out of my "characteristics of the best mental health care provider imaginable" list. I just can't afford to see her :(

Thanks for the kind words, as well!

[archangelbeth]

*offers you a hug, too*

If it helps... Even though in all my pregnancy scares, I'd have chosen to keep the kid, because of the circumstances and who I am... I had such a rough time of pregnancy that I would not judge anyone who hadn't chosen that willingly. It's entirely possible that your mom would have the same intellectual response, and would be able to throttle down any emotional responses. (It's in our selfish genes, to want to continue those genes, so I could hardly promise that anyone, facing "oh, hey, grandmotherhood!" might not go "squee" somewhere deep in her psyche, and have to get over that.)

But I don't know for sure, of course, and I hope that the situation never arises for you where you'd need to test it.

[ldy-shadow.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

I'm going to hijack here for just a minute regarding your mental health issues. (continuing mental health is something I'm passionate about, as I went by with undiagnosed bipolar disorder for many years.)

New York has an AMAZING mental health system that they call very plainly the "Office of Mental Health."

They have county-based programs available to the public, both the insured as well as the uninsured. IIRC, as recently as a year or so ago they were offering a medication program regardless of whether or not you were insured, it was based more on income, and even the lines there were blurry. (I'm basing this on recall from what an acquaintance was able to receive, so don't quote me.)

Anyway, my point is that it's a resource you should look into. At best, you get the help you need. At worst, you waste a bit of time surfing the web and making some phonecalls.