men declining sex

[lovethatlovage.livejournal.com]

i never fail to feel hurt when my BF declines sex. it's super silly because when i'm not in the mood he is completely accepting. BUT, if i initiate and he turns me down it becomes a huge issue for me. as in, we need to have a 2 hour long conversation for me to feel okay about it.

anyone else this way? it makes me feel bad because he's a person not a sex machine and he is TOTALLY entitled to his own personal sex drive, it just ends up making me feel vulnerable and stupid when i want sex and he doesn't.

also, we have great sex all the time and it is the most healthy and fufilling sexual relationship i've ever had.

Comments

[lupinelullaby.livejournal.com]

I used to feel this way all the time. I understand exactly what you mean about feeling vulnerable. Also for me, I think my reaction was partially based on a misconception that men always want sex and for him to turn me down means that there must be something wrong with me. It's taken me quite some time to get over that and the rejection still stings sometimes. But, my husband works hard and is really tired when he gets home. He often doesn't get enough sleep. So, really... I can understand why his sex drive just isn't as high as mine. When he does turn me down, I think about those mood killers in his life and it's easier for me to get over that knee-jerk reaction of 'What's wrong with me?'. Sometimes my husband just wants to cuddle and there is nothing wrong with that. =)

[lovethatlovage.livejournal.com]

yeah, too, he almost always puts in more physical effort then me to have sex (our favorite position is him on top, so, he does most of the work). when he's tired or whatever i think he just really doesn't have the energy to please me and he doesn't want to do a half assed job.

but "Also for me, I think my reaction was partially based on a misconception that men always want sex and for him to turn me down means that there must be something wrong with me" is pretty much exactly on point