body image

[thighslaps.livejournal.com]

My gine looks like this
but I'd rather it look like this ..


I used to make fun of vaginas with "beef curtains," but recently I took a look ~downstairs~, and uhh mine are bigger than I thought.
I could be getting laid soon, but I'm scared to take my undies off...

Should I just assume he won't care... or assume that he won't be surprised because brunette girls tend to have bigger labia.... (judging from porn) .. . ?

I'm scared he's going to look down there & say "who ordered Arby's..." ...

This is probably a dumb concern.

Still, does sex hurt more if you have big labia?  (from getting pulled in & out ...) ?

*edit*
lost my virginity last night...   o_O
pulled em apart, no pain.
thanks for all your comments.. made me feel a lot less insecure! 

Comments

[archangelbeth]

*nod* I've got the brown hair, and microlabia. Like, probably a tutu-ruffle or something. I don't think hair-color has much effect. O:>

I agree -- any sex partner who makes hurtful jokes about one's naked body should, at the least, instantly lose sex-partner-status and privileges.

[ahota84.livejournal.com]

Have you looked at the Everyday bodies project here at vagpag? I'm pretty sure there's all different sizes and shapes of labia that are beatiful, not just blondes...:)

[musicgirl312.livejournal.com]

Your icon is pure brilliance.

[lydia9679.livejournal.com]

I have pretty long labia, and I have never been asked that question about "beef curtains." It's never hurt me either...at least not as far as that goes, but I was afraid that it would too when I was a virgin. Most guys won't care, and the ones who do aren't really worth your time anyway.

[musicgirl312.livejournal.com]

Rule 1: Using porn to judge how things are "supposed to be" only leads to sad, sad puppies
Advice 2: Check out the Everday Bodies Project to get an idea of the way all kinds of bodies can look! (http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/9358497.html)
Rule 3: Any guy worth sharing time with won't care about the length of your labia
Rule 4: If he does care, see rule 3
Advice 5: Love your body and enjoy sex- positively!

[so-says-ali.livejournal.com]

I'm just going to throw this out there, but typically guys are so thankful to be getting laid that they won't jeopardize that by commenting on the downtown region.

[ktnzgtklws.livejournal.com]

LOL. I was going to say the same thing! ;-)
Oh, and if they *do*... they tend to be self centered, egotistical asses who are atempting to manipulate you by playing on the rather random irrational body issues women tend to have.

[fey-bot.livejournal.com]

they might get in your way if you're not properly lubed up, but it's more of a slight annoyance then a giant wall of china to smash through. my left labia is very, very long (it juts out) while my right is teeny tiny, it's amazing i don't limp when i walk...

my first told me to "get that fixed." he was also a cockface. if your guy makes a comment about your labia, slap him in the face and leave.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__justlikeyou/]

My left is also longer than my right by a bit-- noticeable for sure, but nobody's cared so far.

My boy is glorious and has NEVER made a negative comment about my body. I loves him, in all his squishy-cuddly, long-haired, blue-eyed glory.

[toxicpooh.livejournal.com]

Assume what you want. He could love bigger ones, love them because they're yours, hate them, or just not care. My boyfriend prefers my bigger ones because he can do more with oral and he feels them on his penis while having sex- adds something extra.

You can see my labia while I'm standing and the only problem I have is that when I'm not wet enough and I don't spread them apart they do get pulled inward as he's entering.

Make sure yours are spread and most likely it won't be painful or hard to insert.

[omg-anna.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. The pulling-inward doesn't actually *hurt,* it just feels awkward for me.

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

Any guy who would make fun of how you look down there, you shouldn't be sleeping with.

Also, I'm a brunette and my labia are teensy. Porn is definitely not a good place to learn what people really look like. The Everyday Bodies Project is much better for that :)

[theburntcereal.livejournal.com]

Here, here!
Brunette's with small labia! :D
We are... the anti-porn! lol

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

Why do you expect this behavior from your guy? Is it something you know about him, or just some fear in your mind? Why do you prefer the look of shorter labia?

[thighslaps.livejournal.com]

I really doubt he'd say anything like that ..

I'm probably waay more critical of myself than he is of me

and I guess I just think 'small, almost pre-pubescent' labia look better than 'big, sloppy ballsack-like' labia

though now I'm looking at sexylabia.com
and lol I don't know anymore

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I've got very long inner labia myself -- and just like you, at first I was totally convinced that every guy in the world would go running from them.

Well, many men, a husband, and eight years later -- I know that that is so far from the truth. No partner has ever said anything remotely negative about my vulva -- in fact, I've got plenty of compliments on it, and all of my male partners have been pretty darn thrilled to partake of what my genitals have to offer. :)

Hopefully, this experience and realization will help you realize that "beef curtains" is just a really nasty concept. Women should not be made to feel "ugly" based on the natural and normal appearance of their genitals, long inner labia can be totally lovely and are very common, and that we as women can and should really put our foot down on judging other women for their vulvas.

As far as sex with long inner labia -- as long as you make sure to part them before penetration, it shouldn't be an issue. As I said, mine are quite long and stretchy, and if I don't whisk down with my fingers and quickly part them before penetration, they can get pinched during intercourse. As long as I do, it's not a problem at all.

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

y'know, I don't think I'd even *heard* of this preference for tiny labia until I heard feminists mentioning it. I'm glad I was spared the whole angsting over it. I like my body quite well the way it is. Why would I want something I can't even see, or toy with with my hands?

And I'm pretty sure I'd seen porn before I ever heard of this "labia can only look like so" thing, too. And I only started using porn after I was in a relationship. With a guy. Who never said anything about my big lips being bad or ugly (though he did remark that they were quite large.)

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

Large labia are NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL! They are not unusual, they are not ugly, they are not roast beef, and they are not a reason for anyone to make a single negative comment about your body. Anyone who says something negative when they should be feeling thrilled about the awesomeness of getting to see you naked is not worthy of you!!

Forget about which ones you think look better...because it doesn't matter which you think look better. You've got what you've got. Love them! I have big labia too...they're great! More to play with, etc. And they've never caused me problems, ever.

[prettyoctopussy.livejournal.com]

I think all genitalia are kind of weird looking when considered in the cold light of calm examination. And yet, even though (in my opinion) they get even weirder looking when one is aroused, they become really appealing.

As for your imagined "Arby's" comment, I hope that no one would ever say such a horrible thing about the genitalia of someone they're about to have sex with. And if they did, I hope that the party of the first part would tell the party of the second part to beat it, shoving the party of the second part out the door naked and throwing the clothes after him only as an after-thought.

And I hope you will stop making fun of vaginas/vulvas, too. That sort of thing can really hurt people's feelings and make it harder for them to enjoy sex in the future.

(Edited a typo)

[xglassjawx.livejournal.com]

hair color has no correlation to labia size =0)

i have small inner labia like the second photo, but i thought i was gross down there until i took a look at the everyday bodies project here at vagpag. it really made me realize how different and unique we all are. take pride in your vulva! i think any guy would be thrilled just to be having sex, not sit there examining and critiquing your girlie bits!

[nandy-pandy.livejournal.com]

Unless your labia are so long that they already cause problems like pain or getting caught places (I've heard that this can happen; I'm not trying to be funny!), I wouldn't be concerned. As for aesthetics, that's really all on you and your attitude towards your body. Don't compare yourself to other women, especially porn stars (because Lord knows what they've had done); your vulva is more than likely well within the range of normalcy.

Chances are, your guy won't even care what your vulva looks like. If he does, and especially if he makes fun of you, then he doesn't need to be having sex with you, and you don't need to waste your time with someone like that.

[imnotyourstarx.livejournal.com]

i really, really doubt that hair color has any real correlation with how your vulva looks. ive never heard that before.

you are normal. all vaginas look different just like all faces look different. long labia dont really get in the way during sexual activities. especially if you use lube and/or are naturally lubed up enough.

any guy who thinks you are less than a goddess is not worth of your time.

[aechei.livejournal.com]

genitals are bizarre, strange looking things. they're crinkly, oddly colored, fuzzy, frequently damp...ALL of them.

and yet, we still manage to have plenty of sex.

do i have personal aesthetic preferences about the appearance of my partners' genitalia? sure. same as i do about the rest of their bodies. but just as the fact that i prefer small breasts hasn't stopped me from sleeping with a couple of D-cup ladies and my preference for taller men hasn't stopped me from sleeping with a couple guys i can tower over in my combat boots, my preference for a particular design of labia or penis hasn't kept me from those who did not fit that mold. a person is a TOTAL, not a bunch of parts. everyone i've been with has some body parts i love and some i'm not too fond of. that's life. i'm sure they didn't adore some parts of my body, too.

[emilia-romagna.livejournal.com]

Well said!

[gweniveeve.livejournal.com]

Judging from your labia art, what you consider to be "long" isn't even "long," in my opinion.

I seriously doubt he will say anything. Unless he has only been watching porn where the women have very small labia and thus he believes that labia bigger than that is "long."

Brunette girls have bigger labia? Porn doesn't reflect reality. I can't think of a reason why brunette girls would have that trait, other than the fact that labia size is genetic, and some ethnic groups might have bigger labia. (Or that porn stereotypes brunette women as "ethnic" women, and thinks that they do...)

As to whether it will hurt, no one can know for sure. I repeat that the "big labia" picture you have doesn't look long or big to me.

Also, sometimes labia are more "tucked in" than at other times. The pictures you posted could even be the same woman. (I guess I'm also reiterating -- there's not much difference between them!)

Even if you did have statistically "long" labia, they wouldn't necessarily cause any problems, cosmetic or physical (see some of the other comments).

In conclusion, don't trust porn as a reliable indicator of what's "normal."

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

yep. porn can be fun if you like it, but it's acting. it doesn't reflect real bodies, the real world, etc. thinking porn is sex is like thinking rambo is daily reality.

[marithra.livejournal.com]

I don't like my larger inner labia but I never ever want to change it. EVER! I just don't like the look but the two guys I've slept with have never commented, other then my cuch is really hot (shrug). But then again mens genitals are just as strange and pretty damn fascinating. So yes you are normal, and the only time mine really bothers me during the act is when I'm not slippery enough. Then I just ask for more foreplay. ^_~

[masterskasumi.livejournal.com]

Redhead with protruding labia checking in here.
I have never had one complaint in 30+ years of sexual activity.
My SO loves them and in fact tells me often how pretty he thinks they are...usually as he is playing with them/looking at them all up close and personal. :)

[supahfreak16.livejournal.com]

hair color and labia size are not interrelated genes.

[not-a-hipster.livejournal.com]

No joke, I have dark dark brown hair and have like the tiniest labia known to man.

( being able to say that sentence with abandon, by the way. =D)

[my-neighborhood.livejournal.com]

I really hope you've stopped refferring to them as "beef curtains" and making fun of them. It's incredibly cruel and frankly immature to make someone feel as though how their body looks somehow equates their worth as a person.

I'm sure though now that you've experienced what it's like, you've adopted a different perspective. I personally have never understood why the length or your labia matters. I have long labia and I love my vulva, and my boyfriend is obsessed with it. I'd honestly be very confused if a guy (or girl I 'spose :) ) TURNED DOWN sex because the length and colour of the vuvla didn't meet his specifications. I definitely wouldn't bother having sex with someone with that little understanding of the female body.

Every single myth you've heard about long labia is not true. Also, porn is a TERRIBLE reference to real life- the vast majority of it is cosmetic surgery, airbrushing, camera tricks and all-round fake, because porn is about exaggeration.

I hope you'll be able to see soon there's nothing negative or wrong with any shape or colour of vulvas :)

[h2ok.livejournal.com]

I have dark, almost black, hair and my inner labia are essentially nonexistent. I do, however, get a lot of pleasure of out what I do have, especially during sex. If there's proper lubrication, if feels really good having them rubbed up and down a guy's shaft. I also like lightly pulling at them during manual stimulation. So, personally, I wish mine were a big longer. :)

[ilovemeganm.livejournal.com]

my right is longer than the left and i've only been complimented
more to play with! please realize that all women are completely different down there. it's all good.

Floppy FTW

[emilia-romagna.livejournal.com]

As a blonde with almost freakishly long labia, I can say from personal experience that long labia don't interfere with sex, and don't hurt as long as you make sure they're out of the way for penetration.

I'd like to repeat the suggestion to check out the Everyday Bodies Project. I'm glad that you're exploring this and asking questions about it instead of hording insecurities, that's a really good start to accepting your own body. I didn't realize my labia were any different than anyone else's until I saw the EBP, and I told my boyfriend that mine seemed, ahem, a little crazy long. His response? "But I love your floppy labia!" Eloquent, that one, and strangely reassuring.

Re: Floppy FTW

[xojennakateox.livejournal.com]

haha aren't boys funny? I've been complimented on how fun my "Long stretchy pussy lips" are to play with.

[theburntcereal.livejournal.com]

_{Stereotypes are hurtful. =C
I'm a brunette and I have small, almost non-existent inner labia.
It hurts when people talk about small labia as being pre-pubescent (as someone put it, "like a little girl's cunnie"), just like I imagine it hurts for women with big labia to hear that theirs are unkempt or not "tidy" or "neat."
Labia of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, and anyone who ever insults your body should be kicked in the face promptly and removed from any bed scene. That's in such poor taste.}

[leads-to-sex.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I am appalled by this entry and hope the original poster makes a visit to the Everyday Body Project ASAP. (I know this was linked in an earlier comment, but it is REALLY helpful so here's the link again: http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/9358497.html )

I never realized my genitals were completely normal until I saw the variety of labia that are shown in there. I am so thankful for this community and I wish that showing a variety in genital shape would become a part of mainstream sexual education so we can get past such hurtful stereotypes and assumptions. We're always taught that variance in physical appearance is normal and accepted, but society is so quiet about what our private parts "should" look like. It's hard to get the right idea from the flat line drawings we were all shown in middle school. The only time I remember seeing actual photos of genitals even through high school were when they were showing examples of STD's. In fact, when my labia were grown out long after puberty and after I'd had sex, I was afraid I had some sort of STD.

And no, OP, sex doesn't hurt because of labia size. It's only ever hurt for me when I'm not lubricated enough. (Natural lubrication for me, never used the synthetic stuff.)

P.S. Please, PLEASE check out the Everyday Bodies project! There are galleries of all different body parts to show a wide range of what is "normal."