Follow up!

[miss-bushido.livejournal.com]

Since I last posted on here {this entry: http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/11458086.html}, I went to the doctor and had a pap smear to find out what was going on with me.

I found out that my pelvis is smaller than normal, which may be due to the fact that my Mom was told she wouldn't be able to give birth vaginally if her baby {me} was over 8 lbs. I was 8 lbs, 11 ounces, so I'm thinking it had to do with her and genetics {Oh joy :/}. So at least my Nuva Ring has nothing to do with the pain I was feeling.

Getting back on topic, My boyfriend doesn't go in as far anymore when we have sex, which takes my pain from about a 7 on the pain scale to about a 2-none at all.

The problem is, I still can't have an orgasm from penetrative sex. The only time I have had one is because I was stimulating myself while he was almost barely in me :/

Does anyone have any advice as to what we could possibly do to remedy this? I have a theory that after I have a baby, my pelvis will shift so that I can have deep penetration, but since that's not an option for at least a number of years, I'd like to know what I could possibly do to have more pleasure during penetrative sex, and not just from masturbation and oral sex.

Sorry this turned out to be so rambly.

Any advice would be appreciated! :D

Comments

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

The majority of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex alone! Don't feel bad that it hasn't happened for you because it doesn't happen for most women, and you should keep that in mind. There's nothing wrong with stimulating yourself while you're having sex, either with your hand or a sex toy, and your boyfriend can always give your clitoris a hand during sex as well. And there's nothing wrong with you if you just don't orgasm during penetrative sex, period. If it's enjoyable and you and your boyfriend have fun during it, then that's great! and there's other things you can do to finish.

I believe it's something like 70% of women never orgasm from intercourse alone. I'm one who can but it doesn't make my sex life any more valid than someone who comes from masturbation or oral only, you know?

[atalanta0jess.livejournal.com]

The only thing you can do is keep experimenting, and like loonylupinlover said, don't put pressure on yourself. It may never happen, and that's OK!!! There are lots of positions that allow him to stimulate your clit. :)

[starzysky.livejournal.com]

OT -

But just so you know, lots of women are told they can't give birth vaginally b/c they have a small pelvis. Most of the time that is a load of CRAP because the pelvis expands @ 3 different places during labor--so the only time someone can diagnose a truly "too small" pelvis is after a trial of labor. So in the future, if you have kids, don't let yourself be comandeered into a C-section without at least looking into it a little more. (Unless you want one anyway, as long as it's YOUR choice!)

Honestly I am still kind of skeptical of a Dr. telling you that your pelvis is too small to get pleasure from sex. It seems like...it's kind of a hopeless diagnosis :/ so maybe if you don't believe it, having pleasure from penetration will be easier for you! (And manyyyyyyy women don't have pleasure from this at all, so... its not abnormal!). Maybe your vagina is on the short side & your man is on the long side... that could be causing the pain, too...not necessarily some kind of skeletal issue.

But anyway, what do I know, I'm just throwing things out there. Have fun & experiment!

We've found that a pillow under my hips helps a lot w/ allowing deeper penetration w/ less pain.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

agreed -- pelvimetry is an outdated and archaic practice which tells us approximately nothing.

[pretty492.livejournal.com]

My mothers mother was given that inhibitor drug during her pregnancy, I think it was supposed to help prevent miscarriages but ended up causing a wide variety of birth defects, including, but not limited to malformed reproduction organs in girls especially. They didn't realize my mothers pelvis was malformed until AFTER she'd been in early labor with me for three weeks and she was exhausted from it. Her doctor was not great at all, my mother kept saying there's something wrong, he kept threatening to have her knocked out. The last thing she heard before losing consiousness was "We're losing the mother."
Because of her malformed pelvis she couldn't even give birth to a lemon, let alone an eight pound, six ounce baby. I've read a few articles that claim there is a link between Grandma taking the drug, my mother having the malformation and me having endometriosis.
The point of my rambling is that it could very well be genetic and it could very well be able to be treated.

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

diethylstilbestrol? (I don't mean to dredge up something painful, but if you're doing research, that sounds like the drug you're talking about.)

[pretty492.livejournal.com]

Six years ago when I was first diagnosed it would have been painful(thanks for the concern!). My mother ended up having three of us via ceserean and continues to this day to use the story of my birth when she's trying to "cajole" me into doing favors for her. I do harbor some resentment towards the endo and the maybe I wouldn't have it now had medical professionals been more responsible then.

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

I second everyone - not everyone's going to come from just vaginal stimulation. If you and your boy are into toys, try babeland.com, as they have some that are made just for the purpose of stimulating the clit with or w/o intercourse. And totally do keep enjoying what works for you, and yay for sex not hurting!

[archangelbeth]

Only way I get orgasms from penetrative sex is by rubbing my clit on his pelvic bone, with a certain hip-rocking movement. Only other time I managed was probably a combination of g-spot, a lot of prior clitoral stimulation, and a huge toy. Huge. And frankly, it wasn't as good an orgasm as if I'd gotten to the clitoral stimulation part...

I'd suggest trying other positions to see if there are any which allow deeper penetration -- partly because... the pelvic opening not being large enough for a penis is a really weird thing to me. A tipped uterus might do some odd stuff, though -- it pulls the cervix around in odd ways, and might "shorten" even an aroused vaginal canal, meaning that he hits your cervix or "bottoms out" easily. However, when I try to google on "Small pelvis" and "pain" and "intercourse/sex"... I'm not getting any hits at all. You might want to get a second opinion at some time in the future?

Anyway, other positions, whether they allow deeper penetration or not, can also allow better access to the clitoral area by you, him, or both. If he can reach around from behind and just put a finger where it'll rub with his movements, that could have some nice effects, say.

[ever-abstract.livejournal.com]

These are the only way I get orgasms from penetrative sex as well.

[adorable1.livejournal.com]

When I was born, my mom wasn't able to deliver me vaginally. The doctors had to do an emergency C-section, apparently because my head was abnormally large. I still have a pink spot on the back of my head where it rubbed against my mothers pelvis.

I have a small pelvis too, it's something my gyno likes to remind me about everytime she checks it out XD