Planned Parenthood policy?

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

So I'm curious if this woman is just a jerk but telling the truth, or a jerk and lying to me. You tell me.

Now just keep in mind that everything this woman said was in a completely flat, exasperated tone like she was wasting her time, and she glared at each person she spoke to.


So I went to Planned Parenthood for the first time this morning and these two girls who looked like they might have been sisters were also waiting. At some point a woman (in a tangerine colored velour tracksuit, which is the only reason I noticed this in the first place-- I was looking at her back wondering why she was wearing that to work, and wishing I worked somewhere I could wear sweats) came out and called a name. The two girls stood up, and the lady gave them a look for a minute before saying sharply "I'm only seeing one person, which one of you has the appointment?"

One of the girls says, "Oh it's her appointment, but she wanted me to come with her to hold her hand."

Lady eyes them.

The girl laughs, "Oh I don't mean literally hold her hand, but she was nervous so she wanted me to come with her to the exam."

The lady tells her she is not going to let the friend come back. Now at this point I know this is NONE of my business and I shouldn't be listening in at all, but I'm thinking that's unfair to the girl. I've always heard that you can always bring someone with you if you want, and this girl wants her friend there because she's scared. What more, if my boyfriend was in town, I'd have brought him with me, and I'm curious to know that isn't allowed. So I pipe up, "You're not allowed to bring a friend back with you at all?"

Lady turns and looks at me sideways and says "No."

I pause because I'm thinking that there must be some more coming, but she doesn't say anything else. So to prompt an explanation, I say "That's kind of strange..."

She says "No it isn't." More silence.

And again, trying to get some further explanation, "Well I just mean, I've always been told that you can always take someone back with you if you're uncomfortable."

One again: "No." And glaring.

I give up and go back to my magazine and I hear her as she leaves with the girl she's going to see, saying loudly enough that myself and the girl's friend can hear, "It's just has to do with patient confidentiality and all, we're just not allowed."

Okay, I can see it being their policy not to let people back, but it seems like for something as sensitive as this they really SHOULD. I mean, my boyfriend can go back with me to get my physical, and something like this is just a wee bit more personal and nerve-wracking than a physical. But I know that there is absolutely nothing in any patient confidentiality laws that say that a patient can't bring back a friend of their own free will, that's just ridiculous. So. You guys tell me: Lying to me, or just generally rude?

I feel so bad for that girl, though. She was scared enough to bring a friend and then she got stuck with that woman. :/

I'm also feeling guilty about this because I feel like I got in to something that wasn't my business in a place I shouldn't have. I hope the girl who was in for the exam knows I was trying to stand up for her and not just be nosy. Please don't get mad at me for this one-- I know it was probably a bad idea.

I love that PP, though. With the exception of Tangerine Tracksuit Lady, everyone was super friendly and made me feel really comfortable. The exam was really fast and not uncomfortable at all, the doctor was nice, and they gave me the student copay of $16 for my OTC-Lo instead of my insurance's ridiculous copay of $35. Overall they were fantastic.

Comments

[uglybracelets.livejournal.com]

love the icon. yay for bebop!

[shyshutterbug.livejournal.com]

That's...odd, to put it mildly.

My office - which does full gyn services as well as abortions - permits female escorts in the back office at any point, including in the procedure/exam rooms. We don't permit male escorts in the exam rooms due to security issues (we've been there 30+ years, and when we did permit males in the back we had repeated problems with threats to physicians and staff), but they're welcome at any other part in the process.

I can understand why the Crazy Lady Du Jour would want her back on her own first - it's always necessary to speak to a patient alone first (say she's had an abortion in the past and doesn't want anyone to know, or has an embarrassing issue she needs to have checked that she doesn't want her escort privy to) - but I see no reason why her friend should be barred from coming in after that time.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

Yikes. You got boyfriends/husbands/male relatives threatening the staff? That's pretty special, in an incredibly backwards way. I'm guessing you got both "You hurt her! Be careful!" and "I don't want any men anywhere near her in here!" and the like?
I'm glad in retrospect that my boyfriend wasn't there because the doctor was a man and I didn't know until he walked in to the exam room. He wouldn't have said anything, but I know that would have made him pretty uncomfortable.

Oh oh oh-- Crazy Tangerine Tracksuit Lady Du Jour? :D (I've been on Customers_Suck too much, I'm giving everyone names).

[ennazusmiranda.livejournal.com]

Personally I'd say that it sounds like bullshit to me. Though I don't know the exact wording of the law or PP's policy. If I were in the situation I would simply ask to speak to a manager or ask the doctor myself directly. Kudos to you for standing up and saying something. Don't feel bad about butting in for someone who was clearly nervous and may have been too scared to stand up for herself.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you think it was right for me to say something. My inner STAND UP FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLE person was going nuts. I go back and forth from thinking I should have said more or stayed on entirely. I'm afraid now that she might have been more nervous that I heard what they were saying... :(

If it had been me in her place, I would have demanded an explanation and if I had to press for more than a few minutes to see someone accommodating, I would know I didn't want to go there. A place like that where the people don't respect your wishes and your comfort is not a good one. But I think it was really just that one rude lady, because like I said everyone else was fantastic.

[pinkdramon.livejournal.com]

I dragged my boyfriend in with me to a vulvar specialist exam (only the talky part though.)
And my mom into the exam room.

There is no way I can handle a specialist visit otherwise, so I'd have had to walk right out in that situation.
After raising a giant shit-fest probably.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

If I had been in her place I would not have let that slide, either. But I'm not about to start a big stink on behalf of someone I don't know when I'm sure she'd rather just get it over with. If she had seemed upset by not being able to bring her friend back, though, you can bet I would have gotten more involved.

[skits.livejournal.com]

I've had a similliar experience at planned parenthood.Minus the woman being so harsh about it.Plus I didnt push the issue.I'm not sure if its some planned parent hood policy or what.I dont think my regular ob/gyn would care that I go to now.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

Yeah-- if she'd been apologetic about it I probably wouldn't have thought about it too much. But the way she did it was what really made me think she was just BSing because she's a jerk.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

I've never worked for PP, but do work in women's health (formerly in a clinic setting, now in a private office) and I will never take anyone other than the patient back. After we're in a room, privately, and I can ask the person if they do indeed want the guest with them, they're comfortable discussing their health history in front of that person, etc., then I will retrieve their guest from the waiting room.

I'm very, very cautious about this. Alot of people want hand-holding, but aren't able/willing to discuss their past abortions, infections, etc. Or the person with them is an abusive partner. There are alot of variables, and I err on the side of protecting my patient, at least at first. After we're in the room and I can get a health history and consent for their guest to come back, it's a different situation.

(Unless of course the person is in for a procedure. I personally strongly prefer to not have a guest in-room during a procedure, because guests have a strong tendency to see blood or their friend/loved one in pain and have less-than-desirable reactions. Like passing out. It's a big problem when we're in the middle of a medical procedure and a guest passes out on the floor, or vomits. Bad juju, that).

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

That makes perfect sense, hence why I didn't push it. It was really the lady's attitude that made me think she was just being a bitch, rather than it being an actual policy she had to follow with no exceptions. If she had been apologetic and said she really needed to speak the patient in private, okay. But she was really cross from the start, and I know patient confidentiality has nothing to do with it, so to me it kind of points to a case of her BSing.

I'm glad you're so careful about this, though. It's difficult to do a catch-all policy because some people can speak openly with others around and some can't even do it when alone. You really have to do it case-by-case (like you said, there are a lot of variables) and I think it's great that you treat it that way :)

[aineemae.livejournal.com]

Geez... I think that lady was just being a bitch. I almost always bring someone back with me.

[strand3d.livejournal.com]

It just depends on the place and the people. In my office (which isn't a PP or a OBGYN doctors office) we let anyone back with the patient that wants to come, as long as the patient wants the people to go with them. There are privacy polices to be concerned with, but as long as the patient is okay with it i don't see why it should matter.

[taterbug160.livejournal.com]

How strange. The last time I was at a PP I saw a girl take her friend back with her. I'd be so pissed if someone treated me like that - much less NOT wanting them near my lady parts. Harsh much!

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, no joke. If you're a jerk now I certainly don't want you dealing with my sexual history, and DEFINITELY not my girlbits.

[lizzelizzel.livejournal.com]

Sounds normal, except the part about the woman being rude about it.
When I was at Planned Parenthood no one was allowed to bring anyone with thm past the waiting room because of patient confidentiality. Imagine you were having an abortion, waiting in the pre procedure waiting room, and some guy you know is there with his girlfriend. Embarrassing for all. I think it's also about creating a safe space for women. As much as I wanted my boyfriend with me, I didn't want to have to be around a bunch of men I didn't know(besides the doctor) potentially trying to talk their lady friend out of something, complaining about how long it was taking, eyeing everyone there, perhaps hitting on us! I think the less people involved, the better for all.
Luckily all the staff was very kind. Sounds like that lady needs a career change.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

When I was at Planned Parenthood no one was allowed to bring anyone with thm past the waiting room because of patient confidentiality. Imagine you were having an abortion, waiting in the pre procedure waiting room, and some guy you know is there with his girlfriend. Embarrassing for all.

That doesn't make sense to me. How could a friend coming back change whether or not you saw someone in the waiting room or hallway? It's not like you can just stroll in to an exam or consultation room.


As much as I wanted my boyfriend with me, I didn't want to have to be around a bunch of men I didn't know(besides the doctor) potentially trying to talk their lady friend out of something, complaining about how long it was taking, eyeing everyone there, perhaps hitting on us!

Now I'm more confused. Random men aren't going to follow you back to the exam room just because you brought a friend back. I think I'm missing what you're trying to tell me.

[rachelish.livejournal.com]

I think at the Planned Parenthood that I go to they discourage guests in the room, but the reason I've heard is because of space issues. It's in a small former house that was probably built in the 40s. Some of the exam rooms are very tiny.

I think the patient privacy reason doesn't really make sense because if the patient says they want the guest in the room, then that should make it ok. However, I do think it might be a good idea to bring just the patient back first and then ask if they want the guest. Like someone else said, if the patient came with an abusive partner who insisted on being in the room, it would be safer for them to talk to the patient privately first.

[imnotyourstarx.livejournal.com]

ive been to lots of doctors, and ive never been allowed to take another person in with me at any of them, ever.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

You mean just for gyno exams, or at all? My boyfriend drove me to the doctor for a routine physical once and they invited him back even though he was already in the waiting room with a book when I signed in.

[tigergir11333.livejournal.com]

I think this may be a PP thing. My mother (who took me to my first appt) was NOT allowed back period. My boyfriend who has taken me since, sat outside and after they had taken me back and whatnot, asked if I wanted him to come back. I didn't since he'd hear about it all afterwards anyway and I wasn't nervous about any exam or anything.

I think PP just is trying to absolutely keep confidentiality since that's one of their most notable things. Regardless of who it is. Like a poster above said they may be also trying to make sure the patient wants someone back there.

[laurenis.livejournal.com]

I had that same thing happen with my friend and I. She wanted me to come back with her for her appt. and they wouldn't let me in. I tried to fight against it but they refused.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_norma_jeane_/]

When M and I visited PP for HIV tests, they took each of us back alone to ask questions and whatnot, but for the actual test, we were in the same room. We took the tests at the same time.

[sullen-criminal.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't really understand that b/c I've been to a PP (one that didn't offer abortions, I was there to get the Morning After pill before it was available over the counter) and my (male) friend came in with me to the consultation. It was no big deal, except the lady from PP was trying to lecture my friend on condom use...he certainly was not the reason I was there! :)

[https://users.livejournal.com/-poeticmotion-/]

I had the exact same experience. I was mortified and my friend was stoked because he scored free condoms, lol.

[pocochina.livejournal.com]

It's also possible that she called and *asked* them not to let anyone in with her, especially if it was a family member and she would be asking about/disclosing an abortion. It's got to be easier for someone else to say "no, you can't come in" than to have to explain it to your sister in front of your mom.

[buzzboomsplat.livejournal.com]

Once I made a friend come to a doctors appointment with me. As soon as we got into the room and sat down I said, "I made her come!"
And the doctor said, "Oh, it's good that you said that. She can stay."

So unless you specifically request to have someone come with you, I think doctors generally say that you can't have a friend there (I think sometimes boyfriends or family members come along and can make it difficult for the woman to talk openly about why she's there, her medical history etc).

[beatrixie.livejournal.com]

About six months ago I brought my boyfriend with me to the gyno, when I was getting checked out for a UTI. The nurse practitioner ended up kicking him out of the room before the pap smear, which was kind of a bummer. Apparently, she wanted to ask me questions about my sex life or whatever, and didn't want to get me into trouble with my boyfriend. (He and I share everything, so it wouldn't have made a difference.)
She said that generally she likes to have men (with consent by both him and the ladyfriend) in the room to watch a pap smear because it can be an "educational experience."
So I guess that was a semi-relevant experience of a similar situation. They are concerned about patient privacy, because it's really the patient that they're responsible for.


It sounds like that woman was especially rude, though.

[mercurygrrl.livejournal.com]

After reading some of the comments here I just have to say my 2 cents. Here, in Norway, it's perfectly ok to bring someone with you. I think it's even encouraged so that you have someone there to prevent the health care professional of doing something /bad/ and/or that you have a witness. It seems very strange to me that PP don't allow it - not even female supporters/friends/relatives.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

Reading all the medical stores on bad_service makes me want to take a lawyer in with me when I go, hahaha.

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

I'd have walked out. If I take someone with me to the doctor's, it's because I need them there for disability reasons (e.g. poor memory causing me to forget half the stuff I need to tell the doctor, even if I write notes beforehand) and also because I have a phobia of doctors.

[ariagirl2010.livejournal.com]

I would have walked out as well if I was that girl. That is unacceptable--I understand making a private talk mandatory in the beginning, but after that, anyone should be allowed in if expressly asked for. And the rudeness sounds just...horrible.

I asked for my bf to come with me into my LEEP procedure (not at PP), and they seemed hesitant. I pushed for it though, and it was allowed.

[ehlasandra.livejournal.com]

My mini-rant about PP : every fucking PP is fucking different. No, I don't mean how each state/group of states is different (for example, funding is way different in IA than MN so prices are different). I mean each individual employee at each clinic seems to have something different in their head about how things are supposed to work. And it fucking sucks. Yeah, I've had a few bad experiences. I love the organization in general and contributed some $ to the Aurora, IL clinic thing, but seriously, there is some major internal organizational problems. So maybe it really is a policy about guests/friends etc. Or maybe this woman is just a bitch. Regardless, she didn't handle the situation well and you did. Maybe try to ask the clinic director directly about the issue?
Disclaimer- my negative impression of how PPs are run is based on my experiences in Ames, IA and the Minneapolis, MN area.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

I've heard tons or horror stories and also tons of great stories. I personally am a big fan of PP because when my mom was pregnant with me and when I was little that was the only health care she had at all, and she says they were great in my town. And the people at the PP here in Morristown (with the exception of this crazy lady) were all great and even though I worked with four different people (two counselors, one doctor and one nurse/MA) they were all on the same page at all times. More so than the doctor and the MAs at my PCP back home, even. But if you go to bad_service and read some of the stories on there, you'd be terrified of ever going to a PP.

It's an unfortunate symptom of the medical industry-- it's completely random whether you'll be working with someone who's very good at their job or someone who should be locked up for endangering people. I'm in training to get my RD right now and I'm always amazed by the women I work with who were already in the medical industry. One has been a nurse for 30 years and even I know more about health than she does. Last week the lectured me for drinking bottled tea (ingredients: tea made with filtered water, sugar, apple extract, citric acid) and claiming that it would give me diabetes because it was "fake" and that you should never, ever, EVER eat anything containing ANY amount of sugar because it will give me "diseases" later. It's really a toss-up on whether you'll get an idiot like that or someone who's good at their job, no matter what part of the medical field you're in.

I'm sorry that you've had such bad experiences. I hope you have better luck in the future :(

[uglybracelets.livejournal.com]

I would make a point to call into the office without saying who you are and state that this is the first time you are having a gyno appointment, and that you want to bring a female friend for support.

See what they say, and if they say No, and explain that its about patient confidentiality, I would ask if you are giving permission for that person to be in the room, then it would be understood the confidentiality would be waved.

I would try to get to the bottom of this. I go to the docs and while Im pregnant, and its slightly different I am allowed to bring anyone with me. My partner, my mother, my sister... anyone.

[reijigin.livejournal.com]

I was thinking to write to PPGNNJ (the group that runs the PPs in this area) and tell them what I saw and ask for clarification in to this policy. That way I'm not making any accusations but if this woman handled this situation badly, they'll hear about it.

[rearrangedfaith.livejournal.com]

if she was talking about hipaa, yeah, there's confidentiality.

but you can consent to other people being privy to your information (or appointments, for that matter).

it'd be one thing if the friend insisted on going, but the one with the appointment didn't seem like she wanted it..

although i'm not informed of any pp policies since i've never been to one.