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[nagyk.livejournal.com]

I feel like this could be such an obvious and silly question, but: does it make sense for a virgin to go to the gyno if her family history is clean and she's never had any sexual contact with anyone? My mother knows absolutely nothing about my sexual history and I'd like to keep it that way for a while. I'm eighteen, so I'm not worried about my doctor telling her anything. However, she's convinced that it's pointless.

Comments

[greenigma21.livejournal.com]

once you turn 18 you should get a full pelvic exam. it's like getting a regular checkup- probably nothing is wrong but you should get your vitals checked. most likely you have finished developing by now and you should just get an exam to 1. see what it feels like for the future when you really need it and 2. just make sure everything is ok.

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

1. see what it feels like for the future when you really need it and 2. just make sure everything is ok.

I don't understand the logic of this. Why do we think women need to be examined to "make sure they're ok" when they've finished developing, but we don't think men do? It seems completely sexist to me, like women can't develop without a doctor's help, yet men can.

Also, the point of any medical test is to get a useful answer. It doesn't make sense to test people before they need to be tested, just to get them used to the idea! That's a waste of time and money that could be used to treat people who are actually sick.

[indis-earfalas.livejournal.com]

I knew a 22 year old woman, a virgin, who died of cervical cancer.

Rare, totally - but still possible.

Also, I've heard may male and female doctors complain about the lack of young men coming in for check-ups.

Its got nothing to do with who can and can't develop without the "help" of a doctor.

[persephani.livejournal.com]

men should get regular checkups!
women should too!

[suicidekitty911.livejournal.com]

um well, on a male you can see everything because it's on the outside of the body. You could physically SEE a lump on a penis. Not so with a female as the organs are on the INSIDE of the body.
that's not sexist. it's fact.

[praeclarus.livejournal.com]

i'm in the same boat. i've suggested it to her many times buy she shrugs it off, arguing that it's pointless. little does she know, it's anything but pointless!

[chaeri.livejournal.com]

*nod* i had a hard time convincing mom that vaginal healthcare is NOT just for sex or pregnancy.

[majellen.livejournal.com]

I believe it's recommended for women to get their first checkup at around age 18, but I could be wrong.

Do a little research, maybe call a gyno yourself and make the appointment (if you can get yourself there.) Tell your mom that you've heard that it's a good idea, and you want to make sure that you can have children one day, etc. Parents have a hard time saying no when you're protecting their future grandparent-hood.

[eatmyveggies.livejournal.com]

yes i agree, it's recommended either after first sexual contact or at age 18. i mean, hpv isn't the only cause of cervical cancer-- you just don't know. an exam is a good way to keep things in check.

[nebulosity.livejournal.com]

When you say "her family history is clean," do you mean STD/STI-free?

[suicidekitty911.livejournal.com]

she probably just means health-wise. Like maybe she should have said "my family history is clear of any illnesses" or something. Why would her family's history of STD's make any difference?
Unless she was worried about her mom having hpv or something when she was born?

[katydidnt98.livejournal.com]

I've read that it's not necessary before age 21 if you're not sexually active, have regular periods that don't cause a lot of physical or mental distress, and have no other reason to suspect gynecological problems, but it certainly couldn't hurt to get a check-up anyway.

[betterbebalboa.livejournal.com]

Advice varies on when women should first see the gynecologist--an obvious benchmark is when they become sexually active, but if they are still virgins, some say 18, some say 21, some say you can wait.
I would strongly recommend going, just to make sure everything is normal. If you have a tilted uterus or an unusually thick hymen or something along those lines, it would be nice to find out now, so it won't become a (painful) issue later on.
If you feel like you can't openly reason with your mother about this, you can always tell her that you think you have a yeast infection and you would like to visit the gyno for that reason. It's quite possible and common to get a yeast infection without being sexually active.
But in any case, you're an adult and she has no control over your medical records. As long as you can find your own transportation and the means to pay, you can always make a gyno appointment on your own if you want. Planned Parenthood often has a sliding-scale payment system if you're low on money. Call them and discuss what they think is best.

[ant86.livejournal.com]

you should absolutely go. an annual visit isn't just about cervical cancer. you could have a number of conditions that could only be detected through a pelvic exam.

[frkyjenn.livejournal.com]

If you are 18 your mother doesn't have any say on your medical care.

Make the appointment and go. If she questions it tell her that you felt it was best. You are, after all, an adult. One of the cool things about being an adult is you get to make your own decisions.

OT- but kinda related

[jadziads9.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of when I had the flu a couple of months ago. I asked my mom to please call my doctor for an appt (a Dr. I've seen since I was 14) even though I'm 28 and moved out of my mom's when I was 21. She called back saying that they told her I had to call to make my own appt. They told her she couldn't since I was over the age of consent. I mean, really, she doesn't have any say! Haha. I thought it was silly and it makes little sense. I mean I was dying (over-dramatizing a bit), but I had to pick up the phone.

[shakidaisy.livejournal.com]

I'd just like to add more reasons why it's worth going before you "need" to. Even if you don't see any reason to go on hormonal birth control, it would be a good to get informed about it. You could also look into getting the HPV vaccine, Gardasil.

A good way to convince your mom that it's time for you to go (as in your mature enough to make your own health decisions), is if you book the appointment yourself. Tell her the day before, "Mom, I've made an appointment to get a check up with Dr. Smith. I'm feeling fine, but I just want to learn about birth control or the HPV vaccine. I'm 18 now and I think it's a good idea that I go."

[marionravenwood.livejournal.com]

does it make sense for a virgin to go to the gyno if her family history is clean and she's never had any sexual contact with anyone?

No, it doesn't make any sense for an 18-year-old virgin to see a gynecologist, unless you have a problem such as painful periods that needs to be investigated. The recommendation in the US is three years after vaginal intercourse or age 21, whichever comes first. Your mom is right: if you're not having problems, it's pointless. In most countries other than the US, women never see a gynecologist unless they have a major problem their regular doctor can't handle.

That said, if you want to go, go. Eighteen year olds are allowed to make their own medical decisions.

[suicidekitty911.livejournal.com]

The recommendation in the US is three years after vaginal intercourse or age 21, whichever comes first.

I would like to see where you got this info, as I have never heard it before. A three year wait AFTER beginning to have sex? that can't be right, can it?
I don't see how you can say a visit would be pointless. She might be having problems, but not every problem is something you can see. It's best to get checked out, too, before any problems get worse. Not to mention the education about sex and birth control she could get from the doctor.

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, in my area (Manitoba) it's not particularly common to start getting pelvic exams or pap smears before one is sexually active. I didn't have my first pelvic exam until about age 23.

Additionally, those exams are generally performed by our general practitioners, are gynecologists are considered specialists in Canada and are not seen unless a patient has a specific reproductive health problem that cannot be handled by a GP.

The current US guidelines (http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pap.htm#pap02) recommend starting pelvic exams and pap smears if you've been sexually active for three years or more, or are 21 years old, whichever comes first.

As we can see from this comment thread, many, many people have more commonly heard the older "age 18 or when becoming sexually active" guidelines. While it's always wonderful to access more care if you are in a position to do so, current medical guidelines in the US indicate that it's not totally necessary.

[ppeaches.livejournal.com]

i am 16 and not sexually active but i have been to the gyno. its really up to you, but i wanted to get the HPV shot so i decided to get an exam as well. everything was normal as i expected but you can never bee too safe.

[rose2006.livejournal.com]

i think its important to have regular examinations regardless of sexual activity.

[meamcat.livejournal.com]

It's not like the vagina doesn't exist before age 21 or sexual intercourse. I haven't had a doctor look at my nethers since infanthood. Nobody's ever looked at your vagina before, I'm guessing, except for you and your parents, so why not get a checkup? It is an important part of your body, after all. It's your medical choice; go do what you want.

[chaton-de-neige.livejournal.com]

Welcome to VP!

I ended up starting birth control at 15 (my periods were completely ridiculous) and have had an annual exam since... well before I was sexually active. So yeah, there are plenty of reasons for non-sexually active girls to go.

If you feel like you should get checked out, you absolutely should. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If it'll make you feel better, knowing that everything is OK, then go for it!

[amigone.livejournal.com]

You should get a yearly done. I work on a gyne oncology unit and we get a lot of women in with cervical cancer or cancer of the vulva, the latter of which has nothing to do with sex, and the previous either can have to do with having had sex, or not.

Be safe. Get checked up.