explaining the nuvaring to men.

[tasse-de-the.livejournal.com]

Hi! Not sure if anyone's encountered this issue around here, but here goes! So I probably should have mentioned something about my being on the nuvaring before my new partner accidentally "found" it inside of me with his fingers last night. He kind of did a double-take and went "whoa - ho - ho! what's that?!?" and it was a bit of a mood-killer to say the least! Even after explaining it to him and answering many many questions, he's still a little weirded out by it, I think. I guess I'm wondering if there are any other girls out here who are dating guys who are just a little creeped out by the whole idea of the ring, and if so - how long did it take for them to become more comfortable with this? It's a pretty new relationship, and he is a bit younger and less *experienced* sexually than I am.

I absolutely love the ring, and it works incredibly well for me and my body, and I would never consider switching methods *only* because someone else is disgusted by the idea of the ring - though a part of me is a bit angry for feeling a need to justify my choosing this method over the pill to him - though that's seperate from the need to explain the practicalities of the ring to him, of course.

I've only had one other serious partner before, an ex-boyfriend of six years - who was completely comfortable with my using the ring - so this is definitely something I had never thought of before. Maybe that's why I completely forgot to mention it last night! Thoughts, girls?

Comments

[i-bleed-magenta.livejournal.com]

you could always take it out when you're engaged in sexual endeavours. you can take it out for up to three hours, so as long as you put it right back in you should be fine.

[no1spromqueen.livejournal.com]

or she could just explain that its her birth cotnrol. no big deal.

[lisamaria.livejournal.com]

my bf and i laugh about it- he'll occasionally yell " i win a prize!" during sexual stuff if it happens to come off onto his penis.

almost everyone i've been with with it has known about it before hand. i don't say "in case we have sex, there's a friendship bracelet in my vagina that makes me not make babies!" but, in one situation, i was telling the girl, a friend of mine, that she should look into getting one. then she knew what she was feeling when she felt it. her boyfriend, who was also a part of the equation, knew about it through her.

i can see him being like "whoa, what is this? " but there's no reason for him to be squicked!

[lucypevensie.livejournal.com]

he'll occasionally yell " i win a prize!" during sexual stuff if it happens to come off onto his penis.

::rofl:: The NuvaRing just got about 135988 times cooler. :D

[sandtigeress.livejournal.com]

*ROTFLMAO* That? Is frikkin' AWESOME and FUNNY! FTW!

[sexxyful.livejournal.com]

I'd say just let him be weirded out by it. If you like, just stick with it.

[areawoman.livejournal.com]

I can see it being a shocking surprise if he wasn't expecting to find anything up there, but once you told him what it was, I can't see any reason for him to be freaked out by it. I say, once he knows about it, ignore how he feels about it -- it's your birth control, not his.

[cbackson.livejournal.com]

I've not had experience with the ring, but my fiancee was very skeptical of the IUD. It was mostly a lack of understanding--once he knew what it was and how it worked, he was comfortable with it. I think, frankly, that talking about it made him nervous at first because we really had to contemplate what an unplanned pregnancy would mean for us, and that can make a lot of men very nervous.

[auraesque.livejournal.com]

Similarly, a boy almost discovered my Divacup on his own, but I warned him when his hands headed down south. He was intrigued, but it didn't kill the mood. It was more like, "Oh, neat...um, boobies!"

[tasse-de-the.livejournal.com]

haha, so easily distracted, aren't they! :)

[littlesillymoo.livejournal.com]

Haha! Mine was sooooo weirded out by the Divacup at first, he was all worried about TSS and other potential health issues, and then once I explained it, he was all, "That is so much better!" Now when we pass by the tampon aisle at Target, he'll say loudly enough that everyone can hear, "Do we need to buy some dioxins today, babe?"

[jananaphone.livejournal.com]

The Ring never bothered my boyfriend, but I did make him feel my Divacup when I first got it and had it in because I was so excited about it. That freaked him out a little, but I think he's used to plastic-y stuff in my vag so he wasn't traumatized or anything.

[cherrycherimoya.livejournal.com]

My husband went on and on to his ex-girlfriend and his mother about how cool my Mooncup is. It was really funny and awesome.

[asscollection.livejournal.com]

I can understand that he was surprised about it when he found it, 'cause you didn't let him know, but him being "creeped out" about it afterward is, frankly, dumb. There's nothing creepy about it. Maybe if he found a voodoo doll up there, that would be a little scary.

My boyfriend (whom I started seeing when he was 17, although we didn't have sex until he was a few months past 18) had no sexual experience when we got together, and sometimes I leave my Nuvaring in, sometimes I take it out (only up to 3 hrs though), and he's fine with it. It's just birth control.

[otakuastra.livejournal.com]

A voodoo doll... BWAHAHAH!!

Sorry, I seem to be leaving a lot of useless comments like this today.. but that was a great mental scenario.

[asscollection.livejournal.com]

"How'd that get there?! I've been looking all over for it!"

[h0rsegurrrl.livejournal.com]

It's kind of too late for this now, but I would have recommended telling him about it before anything like this happened, hehe. I do understand that the concept of the Ring is kind of hard for some people to wrap their heads around, for both guys and girls. Just tell him that it's your birth control, just like The Pill, but instead of swallowing a pill you just put the Ring in 'there,' and it may take him a little while to get used to it, but it's good for both of you to know that it's in there and it's working. It didn't take my boyfriend too long to get used to it, but like someone mentioned above, you are allowed to take it out for up to three hours during sexual activity.

[my-neighborhood.livejournal.com]

I had to do like three takes on your icon to understand.

[h0rsegurrrl.livejournal.com]

Lol, I'm not even sure what it is; I think it's a clit inside an apple core. I'm not sure I get it, but I like it.

[tasse-de-the.livejournal.com]

thank you guys so much for the comments - i'm feeling much better and less awkward about the whole thing. i'm happy with it, it's just a piece of plastic anyway, so sooner or later he'll have to get used to it :) and in a way, it's kind of cool that i've finally stumbled on a HBC method that I literally "forget" about! i can definitely see how it caught him off guard, and how it could take him a bit of time to get used to the idea. and the taking it out for less than 3 hours - brilliantly obvious, why didn't I think of that! thanks! :)

[aechei.livejournal.com]

just remember to put it back in... and don't be doing that every day. it is NOT CLEAR from the ring's instructions or any of the research just how often it is safe to take it out for 3 hours.

and yeah...i'd be freaked out if i put my fingers in and suddnely felt unexpected foreign object. tell people beforehand!

[arseaboutface.livejournal.com]

My boy knows I'm on the ring, and has no problem with it.

[alatrop.livejournal.com]

As far as I know, my boyfriend isn't bothered by it. I was on the Patch before and then when I thought about switching, I even explained to him the situation. I'm not sure if he really GETS it (I mean he gets nuva ring =/= babies) but it doesn't bug him and I guess that's all that matters.

It might have just weirded him out if he had never heard of it before and had no clue that it could even be lurking up there :P

[littlesillymoo.livejournal.com]

My boy just gets freaked out by the idea of anything up my vag in general. He grew up very aware of tampons, and tells me that he was creeped out both by the idea of sticking a wad of cotton anywhere, and by the possibility of TSS, and his view of menstrual cups and the ring were in that same general direction: "How do you KNOW it's safe for you?" After a while though, he got used to the idea of the cup and now loves it for me, though I haven't tried the ring out. He's equally concerned with potential health risks of the pill, but since he wants no babies right now, he deals with the worry from my "no baby" pills.

[mikhail-tal.livejournal.com]

My guy is weirded out by things in my vagina too (whether it be tampons, a diva cup, or an IUD). He'd really rather not think about those things. I think some guys are just like that...

[scien.livejournal.com]

Haha! I think it's more the way in which he got introduced to it. If he hadn't heard of it before, that's not really the ideal way to find out.

I suggest you just explain, in a non sexual situation, how it works and why it's particularly great for you. If he then requires you to 'justify' this, then he's a silly person who gets a slap from me personally. But I think being angry is getting a little bit ahead of yourself at this point :)

[tintinabulitis.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend knew I was going to go to the doctor to get birthcontol, and when I came back I told him there would be a new friend inside there to get used to. To my surprise he said, "oh, youre going on the ring?" I was like "how did you know!" haha

I just thought it was really silly that he even knew what I was talking about. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. :) I didn't give my boyshape nearly enough credit.

Anyway-- long rambly comment, but I guess my advice would be to just explain to him why you are on the ring (the advantages for you) and that it's the best option for you. There is really no need for you to change BC just because he's wierded out at first! :) He'll probably come around and get over it.

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

I can see being weirded out because he had no reason to expect something to be up there, but after that, it's just silly. My boyfriend was totally fine with it, and is amused by my insistence on trying Insteads so that we'll be able to theoretically have sex on my period if we really want to, even though we're in a LDR and I'm on BC so my period never comes when I actually see him, lol, and that will probably remain the case for several more years... anyway, he thinks it's cute of me.

I've had female friends who were weirded out by the idea of the Ring... we were watching a commercial for it, I was drunk, and I said, "That's what's in my vagina right now!" and everyone was like, "BZUH?" They were like, "But can't you feel it?" or "I dunno, that's kinda weird," and because I was drunk and belligerent I was like, "Excuse me, it is TEH AWESOME and I barely notice it at all. So there!" ...yeah, probably could've defended it better, haha, but oh well.

[spiffychicky.livejournal.com]

haha I had a similar thing with Instead Cups. I didn't tell the boy before hand because I had NO idea how to explain it, so he's doing his thing up there, very obviously feels it, pauses, then slowly pulls out and starts doing something different as though it had never happened. I burst out laughing and had to explain it on the spot. He didn't really get it, but he was quite alright with it, and probably felt a hell of a lot better being able to identify the big plastic thing in my vag.