Too much sex? Not enough? Whaa?

[alistaere.livejournal.com]

Just a simple question...

How often do you have sex say, per week? My boyfriend and I live about an hour away from each other and with our differing schedules we only see each other about once a week. When we do and are able to get some time alone we usually have sex, so for me it's about once a week, maybe twice. I'm fairly new to relationships (this is my first real boyfriend) so I'm really not sure how often is normal, although I know it has a lot to do with libido and other factors like that so I'm sure every couple is different.

I looked pretty much everywhere I could for just general sex statistics but I couldn't find anything so I figured I might get some answers here. : /

Oh, I'm new here, hey everybody~

Comments

[kfitzpatrick.livejournal.com]

once or twice a week.
we see each other pretty often.
but we barely have any opportunities to have sex.

[lunarcapricorn.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry but why does it matter? If both of you are happy, who cares what anyone else is doing? We average about twice a week, and if everyone else was doing it once a month or once a day, I wouldn't change because of them. Do what's right for you.

[silentxsarecool.livejournal.com]

She probably just wanted to know for the comfort value. If she has sex four times a week and thinks it might be odd, hearing that other people have sex four times a week can be comforting. It's also nice to see the healthy variety out there.

Stuff like this matters a lot to a lot of people. It's nice to have the reassurance that you're not the only one out there doing something you might otherwise perceive as strange/weird/wrong. It's nice to see that you're normal and fine, like everyone else.

[mrar.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm in an FB thing right now, but we have to keep it on the down-low, so only about once a week. Actually, right now I'm going to have to wait TWO weeks and it's really pissing me off.

It drastically depends on the relationship. I personally like to be in relationships where I have enough time, energy, and attraction to the person to have sex everyday. That rarely happens though, so I just settle for whatever's possible.

[grace-is-gone.livejournal.com]

I'm probably going to be the exception, rather than the rule, but right now, it's at least 7-8 times a week... sometimes more. The boy and I have pretty high libidos. :)

[ex-leopardp.livejournal.com]

We have pretty high libidos, too. Josh (35) and I (39) "do it" on average, about 10X a week. Sometimes more, depending on the time we have.

[lucidtheory.livejournal.com]

When relationships are new the sex is usually more frequent, and then once you get to the stage of comfort with each other the sex kind of drops off a little into a pattern that works for both of you - that's been my experience anyway. I'm engaged and we've been living together for 2+ years, and our sex frequency varies with our health/stress/libido levels. It probably averages 1-2 times a week. There really is no 'normal', it just depends on the sexual habits the couple works out together. As long as both sides are happy then it's all good.

[jsahmrieew.livejournal.com]

me & my boyfrfiend live about two and a half hours away from each other, so sometimes we don't get to see each other for 1.5 to 2 weeks. But when we finally do, we usually have at least 1-3 days with each other, and in that time frame, we do it as much as possible.. ha.

[hkitsune.livejournal.com]

When I see my boyfriend, which is almost every day during the regular school year, he and I have sex between two and four times a day. We both have really high sex drives.

I don't know what's considered "normal" but as long as you and your partner are comfortable with the frequency, it really doesn't matter, does it?

[loonylupinlover.livejournal.com]

When my boyfriend and I were at the same school, we had sex anywhere from twice a week to 7 or 8 times a week. Now that we're an hour apart and can only see each other on the weekends, it's more like 2-4 times a week but all in one weekend. This past week we spent together and had sex maybe 5 or 6 times. Our libidos have dropped since a) coming out of the honeymoon phase and b) my being on the NuvaRing, so while mentally I'd prefer sex two or three times a day, physically it just doesn't happen, even if we are together.

But as another poster said, why does it matter? As long as you both feel you're being intimate often enough, considering the distance, why would you worry?

[xx-keeprockin.livejournal.com]

two maybe three times a week, if we get lucky.
he lives like 5 minutes away, but we're both cramped for time since we're always studying for something....

[onewithbriteyes.livejournal.com]

I'm about an hour from my boyfriend too, and I generally see him on the weekends. So, over a 3 day period, we probably have sex between 2 and 5 times. 2 if we're busy/tired/stressed, etc. 5 if we spend the weekend in together, just focusing on "us" time.

[mypoorfriendme.livejournal.com]

We live together for the most part during the school year and see each other every day; we used to have sex several times a day but now it's less due to health reasons. If we had sex as often as we *want* to, it would be at least twice a day, every day.

[my-neighborhood.livejournal.com]

Nothing is normal, statistics/what other people do is irrelevent. What's normal is whatever you are most comfortable with :)

[duck-doesnt-do.livejournal.com]

well im not sure if i count because i just started having sex on new years, but we had it 3 times this week

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

Honestly, it varies constantly. For my spouse and I, it depends on whether we're both feeling good emotionally and physically, how much free time we have, what else is going on in our lives, and sometimes it's just an ebb and flow kind of thing. Right now, and for the past couple of months, we've probably been having PIV sex 1-2 times a week. There have been times when it's much more than that, and some times when it has been a little less.

There is no standard for "normal" here - it varies from day to day, couple to couple.

[free2bmevt.livejournal.com]

For us it's anywhere from three to five times per week depending on work schedules, general mood, etc....

[dolmadez.livejournal.com]

There's really no "norm" for how frequently someone has sex. It depends on the people involved.

I just moved in with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and we have sex probably twice a week. We both work full-time, Monday through Friday (and I have another job, just on Sundays), so we're pretty tired and often busy during the week.

[super-bitch06.livejournal.com]

Right now I'm single, but when I was with my first/only serious boyfriend we lived an hour away and only saw each other once a week, also. Twice if it was an incredably lucky week. We had sex maybe twice a month... every other time we saw each other, if we could get some quiet time together. That was plenty for us, it just made each time a little more special because of the waiting.

I don't think there is any set amount of times that you should have sex. Whatever fits into your schedual and keeps you guys happy. Don't try and make your sex life live up to anyone elses expectations but your own.

[foureyeddarlin.livejournal.com]

From http://cloud9.norc.uchicago.edu/dlib/t-25.htm (http://cloud9.norc.uchicago.edu/dlib/t-25.htm) (scroll down to "Frequency of Sexual Intercourse":

On average adults engage in sex about 60 times per year, a little over once a week Table 10A).


The overall adult average is relatively uninformative however since the frequency of sexual intercourse varies notably across socio-demographic groups (Table 10B). The factor making the biggest difference is age. Among those 18-29 frequency averages about 84 times per year. This then falls off steadily from 64 times per year for those in their 40s to 9.8 times per year for those 70 and older. Among the married the decline is even more striking, dropping from 112 times per annum for those under 30 to 16 times per annum for those 70 and older. This age related pattern is nearly identical to one shown in the 1988 National Survey of Families and Households....

[foureyeddarlin.livejournal.com]

Note: broad statistics aren't worth much when applied to any particular individual or relationship, especially if the statistics weren't culled from data about people like that particu;ar individual (i.e. frequency of intercourse limited by distance). What works for any given person right now is what works for that person.

[naugthy-pucca.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the dynamics of the relationship.
I'm in a long distance relationship =( I see my boyfriend probably around one week per month. When we are together we do it around 2-3 times per day =P I think if we lived together we would do it less often. We think it would be like once per day =)

[kuni-bob.livejournal.com]

We live together, so it's easy to have sex often (6-9 times a week, depending on stress level). We both get really antsy if we go more than 24 hours without, so we're a good match. ;)

[justjess.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend and I live together and have been dating for almost 11 months now, and we have sex probably 2-3 times a week. I mean, things happen and it varies... we almost never have sex when I'm on my period because he's just not into it, but I'll usually give him a hand job or oral sex during that time because I enjoy making him happy. I had my tonsils out this past Tuesday, so with recovery time and antibiotics (I'm very prone to YIs, and we don't like using condoms, so even though I don't have a YI yet, we're playing it safe for now) and being separated (he's at our apartment, I'm at my parents' house), plus with my period being due this coming Wednesday, we probably won't have sex until next Sunday or so, and we haven't had it since last Saturday.
It really all depends. When things are normal, it's probably 2-3 times a week, like I said, but we're both very busy and tired all the time, and we tend to not have sex when we have people over, et cetera...
What I'm trying to get at is that there's no "normal" number of times to have sex, and there probably aren't many statistics because there are so many variants from couple to couple. Whatever you have time for and whatever makes you happy is what you should aim for. When we first started sleeping together, we had sex pretty much every night, but we don't seem to need to do it as often anymore - and we're all right with it. Whatever suits your needs as a couple is just right. =) How often you have sex isn't something you should worry about unless you find that you have different opinions regarding how much is too much or too little or different libidos - and that's when it can get tricky. So don't over-think a good sex life. =)

[justjess.livejournal.com]

And just so that I'm not pointing out all of the "bad" things - the last time we had sex, we had it twice in one night and it was INCREDIBLE. Sometimes the old adage about quality over quantity is valid too. =)

[nettabie.livejournal.com]

So you have sex every time you see each other? Sounds like you're doing great, I'd be totally unconcerned -- unless you really really want more, in which case I guess I'd change those schedules :)

[gemfyre.livejournal.com]

Once we started having sex (about 6 months into the relationship), my b/f and I would do it 2/3 times a week. At least once (Friday or Saturday night, when I'd stay over at his place).

Now we've been together 8 years and it happens every few months. Neither of us are really fussed with it much, we'd rather just snuggle up together and forgo the messiness.

[arseaboutface.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend and I live together, and generally have sex at least one day a week, though we tend to do it twice on the days we do have sex (usually Sunday, as it's our mutual day off).

[queensugar.livejournal.com]

At this point, I usually have sex with my partner about once every two weeks. We more or less live together, and have been together for a long time -- for us, that's really impacted the level of passion in our relationship.

Ultimately, I don't think there's any "normal" or "not normal" amount to have sex with a partner. Logistics and lifestyle are going to play a huge part -- if you guys can only see each other about once a week, then obviously it's impossible to have sex much more than that.

The important thing is that both partners are happy with the amount of sex they are having when they are able to be together, and doing their best to make time for sex in a way that's right for both of them.