[identity profile] x-she.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] vaginapagina

If your 16, going to the gynecologist for the first time.. does your mother have to go in the room with you, My mom says she has to and I say she doesn't.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comeonandvogue7.livejournal.com
She doesn't have to. Many doctors will ask if you want her there for the pelvic exam. It's probably a good idea to have her there at the beginning, though.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] borghalrantipol.livejournal.com
Random icon love. That's probably one of my favorite NN2S strips to date.

Also, I'd just like to point out to the original poster that you are absolutely correct, Mom is not required to be in the actual exam room with you.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jilicious.livejournal.com
Icon love to YOU.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mein-liebe.livejournal.com
No, mom doesn't need to be in there with you, and I'm sure you can ask your doctor to have her removed from the room during your examination if you're more comfortable that way.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mein-liebe.livejournal.com
My mom came in at the beginning for the interview and medical history, but it was sayonara as soon as the stirrups came out.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comeonandvogue7.livejournal.com
Same. I don't really need my mom seeing what's going on with my girly bits.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:14 pm (UTC)
br0ken_dolly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] br0ken_dolly
she does not have to go in there with you. i think some doc's prefer she doesn't, too, since many girls don't want to tell the whole truth about their sexuality and bodies in front of their mothers. (i know i didnt.)

my knowledge is rusty, but i think that your mother may however be entitled to copies of your medical record until you're 18? hopefully someone else knows more about this.

but you're absolutely entitled to privacy!

Date: 2006-09-07 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] binaryprecision.livejournal.com
Yep, she can have access to medical records until you're 18, possibly later if you're still on her insurance.

Date: 2006-09-08 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennifer0246.livejournal.com
negative. HIPAA in the US says otherwise.

Date: 2006-09-08 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] -younglust.livejournal.com
very untrue. HIPPA protects you!

Date: 2006-09-08 07:06 am (UTC)

Date: 2006-09-08 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkgatorgirl06.livejournal.com
Are you aure about that? With the new HIPPA laws, I thought that everyone was entitled to medical privacy, regardless of your age. Of course, this could be a Florida thing. Here, when I worked at Blue Cross, I had to take a short HIPPA class and take a test to ensure what I was keying into the system would remain private, since I had access to medical records. Here, even if your spouse calls and wants into, we cannt give you any information unless that person specifically calls and requests it.

Date: 2006-09-08 04:13 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-09-08 05:17 pm (UTC)
br0ken_dolly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] br0ken_dolly
i'm almost positive it's different for minors, unless they are emancipated. but yes, even if two adults are on the same insurance policy, once isn't entitled to any information about the other that isn't on an insurance statement.

not 100% positive about the rules for minors but i know when i was a minor (almost 11 yrs ago!), i had zero privacy.

Date: 2006-09-08 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkgatorgirl06.livejournal.com
Even if you are on the same policy here in FL you cant get a spouses information

Date: 2006-09-08 05:34 pm (UTC)
br0ken_dolly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] br0ken_dolly
that's pretty much what i (tried to) say. heh.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quiltingdragon.livejournal.com
NO, she doesn't, unless it is a doctor's office policy or something weird like that. And unless it is a> life threatening or b>requres surgery/treatment/insurance coverage, the doctor MAY NOT discuss your care with her without your permission. I had my mom stay in the waiting room for the exam/talk, and then "called" her - asked her about family histories of things, etc.That way I had privacy and she still got to ask what she felt she needed to. If you can't tell her no, get the doctor to.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quiltingdragon.livejournal.com
Mine is like that, i'm 24 and she still feels that way. It's been strange recently with me having to care for her (she's getting fitted for a compression brace for her arm, and she can't use it or get the bandage wet, and thus can do nothing). Hopefully she will loosen up. Tell her now, politely but firmly, because the longer you let her try to hold your hand, the harder it will be for her to let go later. I wish you the best with your appointment.

Date: 2006-09-07 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beachbanshee.livejournal.com
Being a Mom of a 16 yo myself. I would want to "hold her hand" to be supportive not intrusive. But only if she wanted me there as I believe in privacy. Be gentle with your Mom it is hard for us to have our "little" girls grow up it, seems so fast. Good Luck!

Date: 2006-09-07 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghoti-e.livejournal.com
If you're not sure how to let her know you'd rather she not join you, you might try thanking her for wanting to support you and be by your side, and tell her that you would be more comfortable with fewer people in the exam room (i.e. just you, doc, and nurse/assistant/intern if there is one). Just be open and honest about being comfortable on your own. Good luck!

Date: 2006-09-07 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beachbanshee.livejournal.com
I agree! Be honest with her.

Date: 2006-09-08 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roseyposey01.livejournal.com
Especially since this isn't a control issue but a support issue. She's probably just worried about you being uncomfortable and scared, but if you let her know her feelings are appreciated but you'd rather be alone, she sounds as if she'll respect your wishes.

Date: 2006-09-08 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kimberkid.livejournal.com
OT: I love your icon soooooo much!

I wonder if they actually make fish like that......

Date: 2006-09-08 05:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghoti-e.livejournal.com
Thanks. I like to use that icon when I want to feel smarter ;)

Date: 2006-09-07 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasminelily.livejournal.com
Not only does she not have to, but many doctors will ask a parent/guardian specifically to leave the room for at least a part of the examination, so that a teen will be able to ask questions and be honest without the parent around.

Date: 2006-09-07 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkdramon.livejournal.com
Your mom is lying to you!
You can kick her out. She doesn't HAVE to be in there unless you want her to be.

Date: 2006-09-07 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beachbanshee.livejournal.com
Ask your Mom to leave the room. Do not "kick" her out, it will cause a whole heap of problems. You are 16 and still have to live with her. Good luck!

Date: 2006-09-08 04:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fightsactualfoo.livejournal.com
or better still, ask the doc to "kick her out". (S)He can mumble something about patient privacy policy (which will be true!), and Mom can't argue. Well, she can, but then they can call the police. That's what my mom does when her patient's parents get rowdy at Planned Parenthood.

Date: 2006-09-07 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bronwe.livejournal.com
She certainly doesn't have to go into the room with her. And if she insists upon going in with you, I'm sure the doctor will ask her to leave, as what goes on in there really isn't her business unless you want it to be.

Date: 2006-09-08 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] letsdisappear.livejournal.com
No, I went when I was 15 (a few months ago) and my mother was not in the room. I know she had to sign a form promising confidentiality as well, that my doctor couldn't tell her things if I didn't want her to. I don't know if this is for all states though.

Date: 2006-09-08 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fightsactualfoo.livejournal.com
Not that this needs to be said again, but your mom is either fibbing to you or is misinformed herself. If you want my personal opinion, I would ask her to leave the room even if I was okay with her being in there because I would want to start distancing her from my medical decisions. She cannot be in the room if you don't want her to (for any of it, not just the exam), and she cannot get any information from the doctors; she'll have to get it from you.

I would also recommend you ask her to let you fly solo because, as others have pointed out, you will probably be more honest about your history and your questions without your mom with you. I lied on my patient history form just because my mom was sitting next to me in the waiting room when I was 15. The first thing I said to the nurse when I got into the exam room was "I lied on my form!"

Date: 2006-09-08 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] piink-flirt.livejournal.com
i was sixteen when i went the first time [[just last year]] my mom wanted to go in but i told her i didnt want her to. the dr didnt make her or even wince at it

Date: 2006-09-08 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bungalow10.livejournal.com
Most doctors prefer that parents aren't present. If you are even the tinsiest bit uncomfortable being alone with your doctor, you can always ask that a nurse be present. Many male doctors insist on it for a woman's first exam.

Date: 2006-09-08 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chendamoni.livejournal.com
No, she doesn't.

But I didn't know this, so I let my mom come with me on my first (and so far, only) time to the gyn, and I'm sad that I did because I wasn't completely honest with my sexual history with my mom in the room.

If she keeps being pushy, ask her not to come in front of the doctors. They'll have your back.

Date: 2006-09-08 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodyraine.livejournal.com
Just throwing it out there because I didnt see it mentioned by anyone else, it also may vary from location to location. I live in NY (and am 17) and for any sort of doctor exam they asked me if I wanted my parent there or not.

Date: 2006-09-09 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sawyerlove.livejournal.com
16 means you have the say. (I loved it when I found out. I was at my GP and didn't want my dad in the room when I talked about anti-depressants w/my doc-not a physical exam, just talking.)

Date: 2006-09-09 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-insanity.livejournal.com
My mom ALWAYS tries to go into the exam with me, even though I'm 18. I've never once let her, but she always asks. She has to come to the appointment with me to show her insurance card and sign something, or I would have just started leaving her at home when I was old enough to drive. And up until this year, she's always pulled my medical records immediately after my appointment, to make sure I wasn't "hiding anything." Thank god that's not legal anymore. (We're supposed to fill out the number of sexual partners we've had of each gender, but my parents can't find out I'm bi.)

She doesn't let me go back to the regular doctor alone, because he's a male. I feel like I don't have any privacy, but the only way I can prevent her from going back there is to switch to a female doctor. Since she has the insurance, she could always make me switch doctors if I insisted that she stay in the waiting room. Ugh.

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