It Hurts When My Sister Pees+Discharge+Stomach Pain

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

Hey lovely ladies (and lurking gents),

I'm posting to try and help my sister. It's likely to get a little long so I'll put it behind a cut. But basically here's the issue: she's needed to go to the doctor for abnormal discharge and probably a yeast infection (and/or BV) since November, when we moved back into our parents' house (we lived with close friends from her church for six months because of family issues), she's seventeen, not currently sexually active, and engaged to be married. Right now it hurts her to pee, yesterday when she peed, her unine was almost orange, she says she has "a lot" -- I asked her and she said it gushes and her underware is almost always wet and she's thought she's started her period before just because of how much there was) of discharge that smells weird, she says it's slightly yellow in colour, and she says she sometimes gets stomach pains whenever she eats or drinks anything, no matter how long it's been since she ate.

I just basically explained the whole thing but I'll go into more depth here:

My parents -- it's just my father and step-mother -- have been slightly neglectful for her health since they got married in 2000. It's always concerned me but lately it's gotten worse and worse so I've decided to anonymously call Social Services on them when they're on their motorcycle trip to Georga (which they can't really afford since the phone has been turned off and they "can't" get it turned back on) if they won't do something about what's wrong before they leave, or give her money and her insuance card to take care of it while they're gone.

Since November she has had odd dischage that's changed in consistancy throughout this period of time. It's fairly watery and slimy and a faint yellowish colour now, though, and it randomly rushes out. There's so much of it that it makes her underware wet and she's thought she's started her period before because of it. I think that this is either BV or a yeast infection but I'm not sure how to tell which so I can tell her what she can do to keep comfortable until I either call Social Services or she gets to a doctor. Any ideas?

And now she's telling me that it hurts when she pees, and that her urine was almost orange yesterday, she says she's almost sure she has a bladder infection (and I know she needs antibiotics, so I'm doing all I can to work on it). But I was wondering if perhaps her vagina issues may have something to do with this as well? And what can I tell her to do to keep comfortable?

This really concerns me: she told me that it hurts her stomach to drink water sometimes, even if her stomach isn't empty, and that it just plain hurts to eat sometimes too. I'm wondering if perhaps it might be an ulcer but she said she hasn't noticed it being tied to any foods or stress or anything. Could her other problems be affecting this as well?

Do any of you wonderful people have any ideas? Anything I can tell her to help her keep comfortable? I'm trying to get my parents to take her to a doctor and I'm willing to call social services on them if I have to, but I'd like to know what to tell her to do in the mean time.

Thank you for any advice or help.

Comments

[crw008.livejournal.com]

Why is your 17 year old sister engaged? I hope that it isn't just a way for her to get out of a horrible family living situation.

I agree that you should most definitely call Social Services. Her parents are neglecting her health by refusing to have her treated. Is she in school? The school nurse should be able to help her. She would also call Social Services, if you were afraid of causing even more conflict.

It does sound like a YI or BV. If it IS some type of bacterial or yeast infection, and she's had it since November, that would explain her stomach pain. Something left untreated for so long will just grow and spread. She needs to see a doctor immediately. I say take her to the E.R., tell them that her parents are neglecting her, and Social Services can hand them the bill.

[hardspacecore.livejournal.com]

I completely agree. Especially since she's underage, your parents would be responsible for the bill, not her. But also since she's underaged, she wouldn't be able to see a doctor without a parent present, so going to the ER is probably your best bet. As for the burning urination, it could be a bladder/UTI, though she wouldn't have that much urine, it would probably be more that she feels like she really has to go but only a little comes out. Sometimes when I have a YI/BV it burns just because it's so irritated down there, and with all of the bacteria, it could have spread a bit.

Also, they might even call Social Services at the ER for you as well.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

Our doctor would let us in without our parents being there. I have a feeling our doctor knows, to some extent, what is going on but she's good friends with my stepmother so I think that's why she hasn't done anything about it yet.

I'd have someone else call but we've tried that in the past and third parties don't know enough to warn the social worker that our father will be completely unco-operative, it's why calling when my parental figures aren't home to stop her getting help is essentual.

[ghoti-e.livejournal.com]

If your doctor is aware of the neglect and isn't reporting it, she can get in trouble for that. The next time you talk with a social worker, you might want to mention that you believe the doctor is ignoring the signs of neglect. She shouldn't be doing that.
I'm sorry you're going through all this. I hope things work out for you and your sister soon.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

She's engaged because she's found a guy she really cares about. I'm unsure of her choice, personally, but they're waiting until sometime in 2010 to get married, so I figure that gives them enough time to grow a little and figure out if it's really for them.

Yes, she's in school. Her counselor at school has called Social Services on our parents before -- back when I was a minor and they could have helped me as well -- and my father refused them access to the house and he refused to talk to the social worker at all. It's why I was going to call them when they're out of town. I figure since I'm over 18 and I live here I can grant access to the house and let my sister talk to them, and my parental figures won't be here to stop us. We've been struggling with their neglect for years, and trying to get help but not being able to, and I think much of it's my stepmother's doing but I don't know for sure.

I'll figure something out for her. Be it the ER, Planned Parenthood, or our GP (she'd let us see her without our parents being there, she's the one we went to that half year we lived with that other family). I'll get my sister health care somehow because I know she needs it and I didn't know she hadn't gotten the care she needed (and I didn't know how bad it had gotten). But one way or another I'll figure out how to get her some help.

Thank you for your reply.

[roseyposey01.livejournal.com]

I agree with the above posters, but the dark urine and hurting when she eats and drinks really concerns me. It almost sounds like a UTI is progressing to her kidneys. She needs to see a doctor ASAP.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

That's what I was afraid of as soon as she told me about her stomach hurting, too. I've told her to talk to our father and tell him about it and tell him to either get her in before they leave on that stupid motorcycle trip or get money and her insurance card. I figure that way I'm giving them a little bit of a chance before I call the parent police on them.

[meghan-lj.livejournal.com]

It could be a bladder infection. Is there a local Planned Parenthood or other clinic she could get to? Could her fiance take her to the ER? She NEEDS to see a doctor.

Just to let you know, I've had an experience with Social Services. (Not with my being neglected, but a friend.) It's not all it's cracked up to be. Let me know if you'd like a little more info on my experience with SS.

Good luck to your sister! Send her hugs.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

That's what she thinks she has. I'm not sure if Planned Parenthood would be much cheaper than our GP. Her fiance could take her there but he'd want at least a little financal help from our parental figures because they already owe him $80 they promised to pay him back for but never did.

What do you mean it's not all it's cracked up to be? I'm not expecting them to yank her out of the house or anything... I figure they'd try to get counseling or some sort going or make them take some sort of class. I don't want her to be taken out of the house but if that's the only way for her to get the care she needs, then it's the only thing that can happen. I'm tired of watching them neglect her and ignore her health needs.

Thank you. I'll give her a hug for you.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

She told me she won't go to Planned Parenthood and wants to go to the Alpha Center (a local Christian run, anti-choice place, which I don't like because they give false statisticis on birth control and how it works). But I figure whatever, she can go where she wants if she can't talk to my dad. She didn't get a chance to today. I've re-stressed that it's urgent and she needs to go, I'd talk to him myself but he wouldn't listen to me if I tried to tell him what was wrong.

Love your icon by the way.

[meghan-lj.livejournal.com]

I believe most PP's have a sliding scale. Call and check it out, it could be pretty cheap!

When SS was called on my friend's parents, they basically did nothing.
They walked in, met with the parents, but my friend wouldn't admit to the abuse because she was scared. If the child/teenager/person being abused or neglected doesn't say they are, there's nothing SS can do. At least that's what we were told. The home was nice, they're a middle income family, and she had no obvious scars or bruising. So when they left, she got beat up pretty good because they came. (I know your parents aren't physically abusive--but that's what happened in this case.) They were called another time by neighbors and the same thing happened. I believe SS was called 3 or 4 times before anything was done. They were taken out of the house for about a month and now they've been put back living back with their alcoholic mother and the physically abusive father is still there quite often.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

My sister wants to go to the Alpha Center but she lcaims they're like Planned Parenthood (though I don't think so because they give false information about brith control, but it's her choice to go somewhere that's like that). I won't call that place for her but she has the number if she wants to go.

Yeah. That's how it was the first time they got called on us, Social Services got called -- we didn't admit to it so they couldn't do anything. I think my sister'll fess up this time though. Thank you for your warning and your support.

[redhawknflight.livejournal.com]

Okay, I grew up in a very similar mess, so I can feel where you are coming from here. She is really sick, she needs to be seen asap by a doctor. If you cant get her parents to do anything, you are going to have to. It really does sound like it's going into her kidneys, and kidney failure is nothing to take lightly. I can't think of anything you can do to make her more comfortable that doesn't first involve medical treatment. *hugs* You can leave a note on my Lj if you want to talk, I know this is hard to go through.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for the supportive reply. It's hard to tell people about it because most people don't understand and think we're seeking attention. I feared it may be going to her kidneys when she told me about it and that's why I decided to post here, because I know everyone here is really supportive and helpful.

If something doesn't change before they leave for their silly trip, I'll call social services while their gone and allow the social worker into the house. They can't help me because I'm 19, but they can help her.

[redhawknflight.livejournal.com]

How much longer before they go?

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

They leave on Sunday.

[redhawknflight.livejournal.com]

I think that might be a dangerous wait...is your sister running a fever?

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

I think it might be, too, which is why I'm hoping she can talk to him tomorrow. I don't think she has a fever but I'm really worried about her. I'm urging her strongly to talk to our father.

[redhawknflight.livejournal.com]

If she won't talk to him and wants to go to the Christian place, I'd try that, but most Christian rproductie health centers (and I cringe writing those words) are really only set up for pre-natal care, still they may be able to convince her to see someone else. Truthfully, at this point taking her anywhere is better than nowhere. Is it an issue at all that she might feel uncomfortable discussing gynocological issues with your Father? I know from what you've said your amil is rather clueless when it comes to aring for her. Is getting the people you stayed with before to help you get her to medical care an option?

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I tried to tell her that I didn't think that they'd be set up to take care of her, that they're mostly for pregnant women but she didn't listen to me and insisted that she knew that this one does. We'll see. I'm bugging her about it over her cell phone. I think with her the reason why she doesn't want to talk to him is that they've told her so many times in the past that she's over reacting when something's wrong -- like the time she had a raging ear infection, they told her she was imagining her pain, and then woke up in the middle of the night about a week later with a punctured ear drum because the pus just built up so much that it burst through. I'm going to talk to them while I'm at my boyfriend's family's house watching their dog (my parent's phone got turned off and they said they're not turning it back on until they get back so I have to borrow people's phones if I need to make a call) and see what Denise says. She might be able to get help or something.

It's one big mess and I feel like I'm her parent more than they are because I listen to her health concerns and don't just blow her off when she says something hurts.

[redhawknflight.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if your parents leave on a weekend, is the Clinic going to be open? I'd just go right to the ER after they leave. This is so serious of a problem I don't know that I would wait for clinic hours. I hope you can get her help before permanent damage is done.

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

My sister talked to my dad. He told her that our doctor should have the insurance on record and to have them bill him. She's going to have her fiance loan her the money and have our parents pay her back for any prescriptions she needs. Our doctor has special office hours on Saturdays for urgent cases and I think they'd count her's as urgent, and she might even be able to get in later today. I've told her to go ASAP and that I'll go with her if she wants me to, but I don't know if she wants me to.

[redhawknflight.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you were able to get help! *ugs*

[nightchild01.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for all your support and everything. I'm glad that she was able to get him to take her. I'd really rather not call social services on my parents but I was fully prepared to do that. *hugs back*