passing genital herpes

[staffwriter.livejournal.com]

I have a quick question.

Does anyone on this community have genital herpes (either type1 or type2) and have condomless sex with their partner anyway? If so, has your partner been tested and has he/she gotten it?

I've been reading and it seems that "everyone" who has the herpes virus, either type on either location (oral or genital) can spread it to anyone at any time. But i've been reading stuff online about people who have type1 genital herpes and still have condomless sex and for some reason, their partner hasn't gotten it. (even after years of sex) ...Seems odd? So some people are more contagious than others i guess?

I saw a gyno last week because i was told i had gential herpes, type1. I went there to ask her questions and have her explain to me how i got it. She kinda dismissed it and told me herpes was a "can of worms." She told me she doesn't know if i'll pass it to someone or not. However, she didn't preach safer sex or anything like that. She made it seem like it wasn't too much of a big deal. Which made me feel better...but everything i read online makes it seem like it's a huge deal.

If you have it, or know someone who has it, how much of a deal is it to you?

(It's weird. People who get herpes type1 on their mouths aren't told they can never kiss anyone again. But people who have type1 on their genitals are told (via the web) to never have condomless sex again.)

Comments

[sarahwilder.livejournal.com]

There is always a chance of spreading herpes, period. Valtrex did a study which showed that, with supressive drug therapy AND condoms, they had reduced spreading to partners.

If you're having an outbreak, you should avoid genital and/or mouth contact. You *can* spread herpes 2 to genitals and herpes 1 to the mouth. Even when you are *not* having an outbreak, however, your skin cells are still shedding the virus, hence the ability to spread.

I know two people who have gotten herpes from a partner who was not having an outbreak at the time. Being protected, and protecting the people you care about, is the most important thing- all the time.

[staffwriter.livejournal.com]

i understand all of that. What i don't understand is where my shedding is. Is it in my saliva bc its' type 1? Or is it on my vagain bc i had an outbreak there? You know what i mean jelly bean?

[mightyj.livejournal.com]

I got type 1 genital herpes from my partner because I ignorantly believed that I couldn't get it if he didn't have an active outbreak. We'd been having condomless sex for over a year. I believe that I contracted it because I had an open wound on my labia because my gyno had burned off some skin she suspected had HPV -- that's just a guess on my part but the timing fits.

Funny, my doctor never said anything about safe sex either. I continue to have condomless sex with the same partner. With others in the future, I inted to always use a condom.

As for your final comment, my partner believes that he got his case of type 1 herpes because a previous partner gave him oral sex while she had a cold sore on her lips.

[staffwriter.livejournal.com]

The gyno told me that lots of people are getting type1 on their genitals because people are shaving more now than ever, which causes little itty cuts that love to grab hold of herpes. It makes sense.

The only person i could have gotten it from was my partner - with whom i don't intend on having condom sex with because, well, i don't see the point if we both have it. He has never had an outbreak of any kind anywhere, and he might not have type1 on his genitals but he's got it somewhere. I guess it woudl suck if i gave it to him on his wenier, but if he hasn't had an outbreak anywhere yet maybe he never will. Maybe he's jsut one of those lucky people that have it (and didn't/don't know) and never show any signs.

I too would be more carefull if i was gonig to get with a new partner.

[stenodork.livejournal.com]

hehe weiner.

[rockstarbob.livejournal.com]

Here is an excerpt from a new resource the VP Team is compiling. Perhaps something here will answer your question:

Who is at risk for herpes? How do you get it?
HSV is transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact via the exchange of saliva, semen, cervical fluid, or vesicle fluid from active lesions. The virus generally does not infect the dead, keratinized cells in the epidermis. It must come in contact with mucosal cells or abraded skin to begin replication and infection (source (http://dermatology.about.com/cs/genitalherpes/a/genherp_women.htm)).

You can also contract herpes when no sores are present during times when the virus is "shedding."

Are women more at risk for contracting herpes?
Yes. Studies have shown that women are approximately four times more likely to contract HSV-2 than men. Women may be more susceptible to genital herpes infections because the genital area has a greater surface area of cells moist with body fluids (mucosal cells) than men. What's more, hormone changes during a woman’s menstrual cycle may affect the immune system making it easier for the herpes simplex virus to cause an infection (source (http://dermatology.about.com/cs/genitalherpes/a/genherp_women.htm)).

[princess-kessie.livejournal.com]

You might want to add that oral herpes can also be spread by sharing eating/drinking utensils and anything else that comes into contact with the sufferer's mouth, including towels, facewashers, sponges and toothbrushes.. As a long-term oral herpes sufferer, it was determined (by my doctor) that I caught mine from my grandfather, who NEVER ONCE kissed me on the mouth or anywhere near my mouth. Sure the risk is lower than direct contact, but it CAN and DOES happen.

[rockstarbob.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks! That's actually elsewhere in the "article." :)

It'll be unveiled along with the rest of the new site later this summer.

[staffwriter.livejournal.com]

Your story and mine are almost the same, except i've had my bf for 5 years and he freaked the fuck out instead of accepting that i got it from him, or he was already exposed to it. This was 2 week ago..he hasn't touched me since. He's having a real hard time with this, making it harder on me.

and yeah, it's so not fair at all. I mean, it's "okay" to assume that people have a need to kiss ... but people don't have a need to have sex? My long-time friend, Kiara, has herpes type1 on her mouth. she gets horrible outbreaks monthly right before her period. I was talking to her about it, and told her that she and i both have the same type. And she was like, no way. I'm ONLY contagious when i have an outbreak. And i wanted to punch her in the face and say, "uh no! that's jsut what society allows you to think. Because ppl with it on their mouths aren't whores."

People think that if you have genital herpes you sleep around. and that's just not true. and not fair.

[lindsey-nichole.livejournal.com]

Stigma is a sad sad thing. I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time with all of this :(

If it means anything - I don't think this makes you "slutty" in the least, no matter what type of Herpes you have, or how it was contracted - or anyone else with any type of STI. And it isn't true or fair for people to look at herpes or any STI for that matter, they way they do. Hopefully one day we can all be thoroughly educated on the matter - and the risks and prevention.

*hugs*

[angel-eyes224.livejournal.com]

People with mouth herpes are told they shouldn't kiss when they have a sore. I'm not trying to be judgemental here, at all. Just make sure you tell all of your partners that you have it, even if you aren't having an out break. Then if they want to risk it and go without a condom, that's on them.

I realize this is an old post...

[mercurial-mind.livejournal.com]

I have been married for over 2 years, have stopped using condoms pretty much right away, and he is fine. Also, had a previous relationship where it never got passed on after years of sporadic condom-less sex.

The issue is likely the stigma attached to STD's. Herpes Type 1 isn't really all that bad on the genitals, my doc says it's because it's not it's "natural" home. So it breaks out less often and less intense. So, if your partner knows, and decides the risk is worth it, then condomless sex with type 1 isn't really that bad (in my opinion).