dry all the damn time

[number18.livejournal.com]

This is more of a "who else has this" question than anything.

When I was younger, I used to get wet. Wet during certain times in my cycle, wetter when I was turned on, naturally wet whenever. Maybe when I was 16, I started birth control. And I started having fairly regular sex. I had the same partner for this regular sex, and in fact, I ended up being in a relationship with this partner for five years, until I was 22.

At the start of our relationship, I would get wet. Like wet panies wet. Then... I just started getting lots of yeast infections. Bacterial vaginosis... UTIs. Both at the same time, one after the other, irritation all the damn time. I'll blame this on stress from trouble with my family and a drastically changing lifestyle. And also that my partner always just stuck it in with no foreplay, no romance, nothing. I always had something wrong with me. I forgot what my normal vaginal odor was like. It sucked, obviously. And then, probably when I was 19 or 20, I realized that I just wasn't wet anymore. Not like I used to be. Even when I would be turned on, even when I'd be really into sex... I was dry. I had to use lube all the time or risk terrible irritation.

I dumped that partner last year. I started having sex with a new partner. He is great in bed. He makes me feel sexy. He goes down on me all the time. And yet...I'm still dry, all the time. My natural vaginal state is bone-dry. I jokingly call myself a barren witch. I take OTC-lo, a calcium supp, a cranberry supp, and an acidophillus supp every day. I haven't had a YI or BV or a UTI since I stopped having sex with my old partner more than a year ago.

I'm 23. I lead an active lifestyle. I drink lots of water and eat lots of veggies. I drink 0-1 caffinated beverages a day. I am not under a terrible amount of conscious stress. I have regular, fufilling sex. I wear cotton underwear when I wear any, wash my vag with just water, and don't use anything perfumed or scented on it.

I miss my wet vagina. Greatly. Luckily, my partner makes sure I'm well lubed enough before sex that I don't need to rely on a lubricant, but for once (again) in my goddamn life, I'd like to just be hot and sexy WET on my own!

I would say, oh it's just my birth control. But I've been on two seperate kinds of BC (OTC, then alesse), then off for two years and I never ragained my former moist vagina. My pimples came back, sure, but that was it. The only thing I can think it is, is some sort of intense mental block created by my ex-boyfriend, who was mentally abusive to me. I refuse to believe this just happened to me by chance, or that I'm going to be this way forever now. I asked several clinic docs if I had some sort of condition, but I am always just told to use lube. Maybe I'd be fine with this if I'd always had a dry vag, but I haven't!!

I'm a very mental/logical person, and lately I've been trying to become more in tune with my body and my urges/feelings, to somehow get over any mental block. So far though, there has been little improvement, or at least with the dryness. But I have hope. So I'm just really curious to see if anyone has experienced anything like this.

Thank you.

Comments

[dead-corvette.livejournal.com]

I have been on Monofeme for about 3 years and have found I dont/cant(shrug) get as wet as I used to before I started HBC, however I've never been off it, so I dont know if i woul return to normal after stopping taking it...
I feels your pains!

[violet-tigress1.livejournal.com]

I am really dry most of the time too. Maybe a little sticky, or moist internally. I do get wet, but not that often...not like I used to. I get chafing alot, unless I massage in some vitaminE oil. Iwas on BC for a long time & that made it worse. Like I'd get scratches from sittting in the wrong spot, or from scratchy toilet paperve never been diagnosed with BV but I've always gotten lots of yeast infections

[hardspacecore.livejournal.com]

That's my problem as well- I get wet on the inside (or just kind of sticky wet, as you said), after a bit, but I'm always completely dry on the outside, so it's really aggravating trying to get him in...

I also get recurrent BV (every time I have my period, for some reason) and UTIs as well, and I'm on Yasmin (continuous).

I think it's the BC, but if you were mentally abused, and if you're depressed at all, that might have a great deal to do with it as well.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help :(

[number18.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll definitely chalk it up a bit to the BC. I get the "sticky" wetness too... it's like, a pathetic lack of actual wetness, I like to think. But as for depression... consciously, I'm not depressed. But at the same time, I focus on things too often, mentally. It's weird.

Man, good to know a few other ladies out there like me, tho.

[souvenir.livejournal.com]

I, too, used to have the problem of the "sticky" internal wetness, combined with external dryness that made penis insertion rather difficult. This phenomenon only occurred when I was on the pill (Yasmin for a couple of months, then Estrostep for 8 mos. or so) several years ago. After going off the pill (for insurance-related reasons; we switched to condoms only), I got my wetness back for several years! It was grand. Of course, when I went back on the pill a few months back, I had the intense fear that I would have the lack of wetness again. I don't know if it's because I'm older now and my body is reacting differently, or because the stresses in my life have changed (my life is NOT less stressful now - I'm now a medical student), but I haven't had the wetness problems at all for the few months I've been back on Estrostep.

It sounds like you're doing everything right, so I can understand how frustrating this must be. Of course, there's no way to tell if this is a purely physiological problem or whether it's tied to some emotional issues you might be dealing with. Perhaps you can delve into your emotional issues while simultaneously treating this as a physical problem?

My advice to you: first and foremost, find a lube that you really like. For me, this was Slippery Stuff gel. It felt the most like my natural lubrication, and we could incorporate it into foreplay in a sexy way. If you're still dissatisfied with these results and your wetness level doesn't increase after you've worked on some of your emotional issues, then maybe try changing pills? Or take a few months off the pill and see if that helps? I don't know if you're on the pill for health reasons or just for birth control or if you hate condoms, but if you don't absolutely *need* to be on the pill and this problem is frustrating enough for you, I'd try being without the pill for a bit.

Good luck!

[lovesantino.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad there's someone else with the same situation as me! I feel so much better. I tried to explain this to the nurse who did my pap smear, but she said I seemed normal. I actually got so depressed about it I cried the other day. I used to be able to have sex almost any time I wanted, and now I get pain/irritation and pinkish discharge even with lube.
Well I guess if I find a solution, I'll definitely post it here. Good luck.

[scien.livejournal.com]

It could be just an age thing. Anyone here feel they were wetter as a teen? I can't really say because I went on the pill around then.

Either way, I wouldn't take it as a reflection of, well, pretty much anything. I used to be bitter too, but I found a lube which makes me a very happy bunny.

[number18.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's crossed my mind that I just might be a dry kitty nowadays. My taste buds have changed and all that other age stuff... But how sad.

I should find a lube I like, but what kills me is that every blue moon, when I'm super mentally turned on, I actually get wet. Booo

[scien.livejournal.com]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think probably more women are like that instead of dripping wet all the time.

I do really recommend going to a sex shop and trying all the testers there, until you find something you actually like the touch of. It makes a great difference.