protection and shaving

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

so i was just reading around on the scarleteen website, and it was saying what sort of protection you need for different sexual acts. like latex GLOVES for manual sex? who does that? i guess my question is, is that kind of stuff really necessary? like i could understand in some circumstances it is. ie. the guy is a manwhore. but if he's not? 

also, wouldn't shaving everything off prevent certain diseases? (i saw something on pubic lice...ew) or it's atleast easier to see and signs of abnormalty. what is your take on this?

i love this community : )

Comments

[xochiquetzl]

IMHO, it's les whether he's a Man-ho and more whether he has any open cuts/bug bites/etc. on his hands. They also cover up his fingernails, which, depending on his nails, might be a good thing.

That said, I've been in a monogamous relationship for 8 years, so...

[3-black-cats.livejournal.com]

Uhm. You don't have to be a Man-ho, or a Female-ho, for that matter, to have contracted an STI. STI's also happen quite commonly to people who have had only a few sexual partners.

Even if your partner has only been sexually intimate with one other person, it's still possible (though less likely) that they may have been exposed to an STI given how common and how easily transmissible STI's can be.

And people who have had many, many sexual partners can also be free of STI's. Especially if they've been responsible about practicing safe sex.

[xochiquetzl]

No, and you're right. I was using "man-ho" ironically, because the OP said "manwhore."

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

sorry that was my first post here! i will watch my words more carefully next time :)

[pinkcoladaxo.livejournal.com]

um, yeah the glove thing is a bit weird and..yeah, i'd never do it lol then again i'd never do anything with a manwhore!! haha
make sure you know that your partner used protection with past people and if he's 'clean' or not and you should be fine without the gloves..ha.

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

haha yes, he actually has nice hands. not extremely soft or anything, but clean, short nails, and in pretty good shape. lol

[lisamaria.livejournal.com]

a friendly note, you should delete this comment, since you can't edit comments.

using the term "clean" is a violation in this community, and its offensive to many people.

[viellen]

Just as an FYI, while you are correct that using the term "clean" in this community to mean STI-free is discouraged (and thank you for pointing that out), we also don't encourage deleting comments. From the FAQ:
"Also in the interests of promoting dialogue, we ask that only members of the VP Team delete comments."

Thanks!
-Rebecca
for the VP Team

[lisamaria.livejournal.com]

fair enough- then what is the appropriate recourse as to not hurt anyone's feelings? are you going to screen the comment,or delete it yourself? it seems to me that in this case, either one of those things will have to happen or one of the rules will be broken- i would think that the "Clean" rule would take precedence, no?

[viellen]

We prefer to leave instances like this up to help educate members of the community of our policies. We generally do not delete any comments, unless they are blatant SPAM, and we try not to screen comments unless there is a pending flame-war or a severe violation of safe-space. If you have any more questions about our policies, please feel free to contact us over at contact_vp so as not to hijack the OP's post. Thank you!
-Rebecca

[violet-tigress1.livejournal.com]

Just the word clean? I'm guessing that it was not in reference to STIs, only "hands that aren't visibly grubby grimy or grubby & are washed ofen,"correct me . if I'm wrongUsed in only the "well tended"sense is it still offensive?

[lisamaria.livejournal.com]

my apologies, it didn't come off (to me anyway) as that way, so i assumed you meant STI-wise.

[viellen]

Hi there. In the future, it's important to avoid comments that use "clean" to mean STI-Free. Using "clean" that way implies that people who have STIs are "dirty," and we prefer not to further that harmful stereotype. We realize you can't edit comments, so we simply ask that you keep this note in mind for the future. Despite what the commenter below said, please do not feel pressured to delete your comment, we prefer that comments are not deleted from threads, thank you.

For more information on this policy, you can read our guidelines here:
http://www.vaginapagina.com/faq.php?#WhyCantIUseClean

-Rebecca
for the VP Team

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

oh well by clean all i meant was recently washed. sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone if i did

[viellen]

Not a problem, and I apologize if I misread your comment.

[viellen]

Just for clarrification, the "clean" warning was addressed to pinkcoladaxo. Your comment was fine.

[zellie-bean.livejournal.com]

Depends on who you're having sex with, if you know someone has tested negative for STDs and has clean hands (not covered in dirt or sugar or something ;p ) then no matter how many partners they've had, they should be fine to have sex without the extreme of gloves ;) but if you're messing around with someone whose history you don't know then you might want to be more careful. I'm not sure exactly how much can be transferred from genital to hand (maybe they're worried about genital to hand to genital?) but I know genital to oral is something to watch out for (found that one out AFTER I'd already done it without protection though :P ).

[evr1bugsme.livejournal.com]

The thing about that though is that the two big skin to skin contact STDs, herpes and HPV, are also two STDs that you either cannot reliably test for or are not usually tested for, especially with guys. So someone could get "STD testing," be negative, and still transmit those diseases (as I understand it).

The gloves do seem a little extreme, but skin is skin and you never know. It seems most people are willing to take their chances, but I did see the pictures in health class of herpes/wart encrusted hands!

I'm pretty frustrated by the fact that the inability/uncommoness of testing for this stuff is not more widely known and that you can never really be sure or even remotely certain that someone is completely disease free if they have ever had sexual contact with a non-virgin. Ugh.

[zellie-bean.livejournal.com]

I've heard it that they're often asymptomatic but that they're transferred via sores/open areas (when symptoms do pop up) so if you/your partner is free of those at the time of sex then you should be fine. But then, how does the asymptomatic stuff get transferred? Or is it only asymptomatic depending or person? or, is it always asymptomatic and then how do you EVER know if you have it and if you do have it, does it matter if there aren't even any effects?

My health classes were lacking, they didn't tell us oral was possible let alone that anything could be transferred that way and sexual orientation? Not even mentioned. I didn't know you could get herpes anywhere other than oral/genital o_o

For me and my partner...we don't orgasm while using condoms, so it's either... trust that we have no symptoms and have tested negative and have orgasms every time, or never do >_>

[evr1bugsme.livejournal.com]

Hopefully someone else will have more info about this, because those are questions I would like to know the answers to as well.

My health class was actually pretty progressive, but there was still a decent amount I didn't understand. For example, we saw the "scary slide show" of pictures of all kinds of STDs on hands and eyes and...well, I closed my eyes for the rest, ha. But didn't get a good explanation as to why/how that happened and how to prevent it.

I mean, when 80% of people get HPV at some point there is only so much you can do, I just crave the INFO! So I can be more informed about the level of risk. This community is very helpful with that though :o)

[zellie-bean.livejournal.com]

Exactly, there is only so much we can do -_- but if health classes had more information in the first place instead of scare tactics and abstinence -only we'd be better prepared and more aware of the ACTUAL risks. I mean, you can show people dying in a million car crashes, but there ARE ways to avoid those and sure none is perfect, but knowing the chances would be so much more helpful.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

No; both HSV (herpes) and HPV (warts/dysplasia) can be transmitted even without visible symptoms, because both are contagious during the "shedding" phase, which often occurs prior to physical symptoms being present.

[hopingforrain.livejournal.com]

Actually, herpes is most easily spread right BEFORE an outbreak. The person who is going to get the outbreak can often tell-- they might feel pain or tingling or something in the area-- but even if they can tell will they tell you? is the quuestion.

I wish more people knew this fact. BEFORE the outbreak.

[zellie-bean.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I definitely didn't know that! I could've sworn I'd heard that it was during and only during. Sex education needs to be more wide-reaching in general, there are so many things I wish I'd known because I always thought I WAS taking all the precautions.

[br0ken_dolly]

an exgf and i used to use gloves for manual sex when one of us was menstruating. it was neater :)

i think that some of it is in case you're involved in fisting, too. basically if there's going to be any insertion (particularly with the potential for tearing and whatnot) it's better to be safe than not safe.

but i do agree. some of the "safer sex" suggestions make me shake my head in wonder.

[neko-san.livejournal.com]

quote: ...use gloves for manual sex when one of us was menstruating. it was neater

ditto that! also, dental dams for oral sex during menstruation. =)

[mollydwyer.livejournal.com]

As far as shaving..

My friend went to PP to get an exam and the gynocologist asked her why she shaved her pubic hair. Sorta awkward... She then said that she doesn't recommend it because it can help spread disease (because of little cuts.)

I don't know about the pubic lice, but I think I read somewhere that shaving does in fact give them nowhere to live? I could be wrong.

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

well yes, cuz there's no hair for them to live. and that does make sense about the cuts as far as spreading diseases. hmm something to think about lol thanks!

[geminigirl]

Any time there might be cuts or scrapes on the hand, it may be worth pulling out the gloves. If there's a risk of exposure to blood, you could, conceivably be putting your partner at risk for things. Anal play, as well, since the anus is more prone to tearing than the vagina. Hangnails, or nails that aren't well filed can cause irritation or scratches in the vagina or anus. It can make it easier to go back and forth between vaginal and anal play, too.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

Safer sex includes latex barriers, yes. Many people do use barriers, although I'm not sure how comfortable they'll be replying, as your question seems skeptical and as if you can't beleive anyone would do such a thing.

I'd also discourage you from calling someone a "whore", regardless of gender. A person can have 2 lifetime partners and have put themselves in many risky and unhealthy situations, or have 35 partners and have been extraordinarily cautious about the health risks involved in such actions.

[3-black-cats.livejournal.com]

Well said. :)

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

thanks. i will choose my words better next time!

[3-black-cats.livejournal.com]

I want to point out that shaving/removing all of your pubic hair can also lead to cuts/knicks or small breaks (in the case of waxing or depilatories) in the skin (sometimes so small you don't see or feel them) and that this can create an easy entry-way for bacteria and/or STI's.

So if you want to shave/remove all hair in the pubic region and are concered about STI's, your best bet is to wait a while before having intimate contact, or make sure you and your partner have tested negative for STI's, or use condoms and other barrier methods to prevent the spread of STI's.

That said, above all, have fun and enjoy.

[angel-eyes224.livejournal.com]

Shaving causes cuts and stuff and all that has been said. However, you likely have hair around your anus. If the pube lice don't find hair on the genitals they will "head for the hills" and that's even more ew. But I am almost all the way shaved anyway. Just make sure the guy doesn't have any bugs.

[cialynia.livejournal.com]

Scarleteen isn't the best website to go to for advice, as I've heard from other comments before.

[shmeho.livejournal.com]

yeaa, like some of the stuff and stories it had were pretty good, but like, it kinda made me want to only have one partner in my life. which might not be bad, and it might even happen, but i'd like to make that decision on my own, and not be scared away.

i use gloves

[jbberish.livejournal.com]

When I engage in manual sex with anyone that I'm not fluid bonded to, on the giving or receiving end.

I prefer nitrile gloves (plus they come in pretty colors) to latex.

[xochiquetzl]

Just an addendum to my answer...

In addition to the comments below about herpes being spread asymptomatically, you can spread HIV/AIDS from an open cut on a hand to the vagina, or vice versa. Speaking of cuts on hands, if he has an infected cut (not a sexually transmitted infection, an "I cut myself and forgot to wash it out" infection), he could get bacteria inside your vagina, which could lead to BV. If he has an uninfected cut, your natural juices might feel stingy in the cut because they're acidic.