1. The vast majority of women all over the world DO NOT orgasm vaginally/from piv sex. It is a minority that can and do. For the most part, many women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm - either direct via manual stimulation or indirect through friction or body contact. I personally use a small butterfly vibrator on my clitoris during sex, as I need direct stimulation. You just need to find what works for you personally, and don't worry about what society thinks 'should' happen in the bedroom!
2. That's a tough one. Going very very slow to start, only allowing him in when YOU are good and ready, stopping if you feel any pain, trying again later, plenty of lube, ensuring your bowels are empty - all of these can help make it feel less uncomfortable and more pleasurable. It may be that he is too big for you, and you may never feel entirely comfortable. I personally find that keeping a small-ish dildo strictly for this purpose, and using it before anal can be very helpful. But you should never feel pressured to continue with something that is too uncomfortable for you.
3. It is entirely possible that your man could be a little on the 'large' side. From my own past experiences, and from what I have read over the years, excessive stretching from a too-large partner can cause the stinging you refer to. Perhaps having a leisurely bath together before sex might help relax and loosen you up a tad? Starting off with a toy, and/or fingers and plenty of lube, then moving up to himself when you feel ready can help. More frequent sex can help keep you 'stretched' - I know if I go too long in between, I get tight and it stings a bit when the hubby and I get around to it again...also the comment about condom and spermicide allergies is quite possible too. I am lucky, no latex or spermicide allergies - but I AM allergic to hubby's semen, off all things!!!
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Date: 2006-06-18 04:28 am (UTC)2. That's a tough one. Going very very slow to start, only allowing him in when YOU are good and ready, stopping if you feel any pain, trying again later, plenty of lube, ensuring your bowels are empty - all of these can help make it feel less uncomfortable and more pleasurable. It may be that he is too big for you, and you may never feel entirely comfortable. I personally find that keeping a small-ish dildo strictly for this purpose, and using it before anal can be very helpful. But you should never feel pressured to continue with something that is too uncomfortable for you.
3. It is entirely possible that your man could be a little on the 'large' side. From my own past experiences, and from what I have read over the years, excessive stretching from a too-large partner can cause the stinging you refer to. Perhaps having a leisurely bath together before sex might help relax and loosen you up a tad? Starting off with a toy, and/or fingers and plenty of lube, then moving up to himself when you feel ready can help. More frequent sex can help keep you 'stretched' - I know if I go too long in between, I get tight and it stings a bit when the hubby and I get around to it again...also the comment about condom and spermicide allergies is quite possible too. I am lucky, no latex or spermicide allergies - but I AM allergic to hubby's semen, off all things!!!
I hope you find something that works for you! ^_^