GYN Trauma

[pamsfriends.livejournal.com]

Yesterday, I went to the gynecologist for the first time.

Never having been sexually active, I was determined not to be at risk for HPV and the pap smear was deemed unnecessary. Yay, right?

Not so fast.

They still had to do a pelvic exam with the finger...a digital exam, right?

Is it normal to feel totally and completely physically and emotionally violated by the experience?

Nothing, and I mean nothing, had ever been, you know, "up there" before that point. I have an irrational fear of cotton balls, so shoving tampons up there was out of the question, and I have never masturbated (I'm not morally against it or anything, I've just never felt the urge).

It was all like "questions, questions, questions," and I'm like "I can handle this, I will just answer her questions," and then HELLO FINGER REALLY FAR UP MY COOTER. I have a problem with my right foot and every three weeks I have to go in and have a procedure done without any anesthesia, and it hurts less than this.

She was all like "OK, this is your cervix." I felt like saying "Hey, it's awesome that I have one, now can you let go? It's not a bottle cap, it's not going to come off!"

I was in pain for the rest of the day. I am still in pain now. There is no physical reason why I should be in pain.

How can I get over this? I feel like I have been violated. I'm not one of those people who's afraid she's "not a virgin" because something's been up there now. I know I'm still a virgin.

Also, my GYN thought maybe I should seek counseling because I freaked out so much and that she worries for my future relationships. Right now all four relationships I've had have been long-distance, that is, I longed for someone and he kept his distance. I didn't know how to communicate to her that it would be very different when I am with someone I love, someone I hope knows my body, something I'm ready for, and not a clinical exam with Dr. Periscopes-For-Fingers.

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[evr1bugsme.livejournal.com]

EDIT! (I deleted my post because of a major miswording)

As far as I know you do NOT need any sexual contact to get cervical cancer. I actually remember hearing on the news about how nuns needed to be educated more about pap smears since (they and apparently many other people) assumed no sex, no cancer.

From the first google hit for "cervical cancer causes" http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/cervical_cancer.html:
What causes cervical cancer?

The exact cause of cervical cancer is not known, but certain things appear to increase the risk.
Human papilloma virus (HPV)

Specific types of the human papilloma virus (the same virus that causes genital warts) are linked with 95% of cases of cervical cancer. HPV is passed on through sex and usually causes no symptoms at all.


Worrying about that 5% is what motivated me to get into the doctor. I was quite surprised that my mom the former ob/gyn nurse didn't have me see a doctor until -I- brought it up at 20 (virgin). Ha, and then the first exam I had the lady didn't even finish the pelvic cause I was in too much pain and apparently that 5% didn't concern her!

Anyway, I can definitely understand being taken aback by the whole process, but maybe try to see it as a way to feel as close to 100% sure as possible that you are reproductively healthy?