gyno troubles, and discharge

[https://users.livejournal.com/-out-of-tune/]

well i have 2 questions. one is kind of hard to explain thuogh but i will try my best.

1. so im a virgin (soon to be 20) and i'm kind of conflicted. a lot of my friends who are sexually active have gone to a gyno. some have suggested that i dont have to go to a gyno since i'm not sexually active, but then i heard a few people said that i should just to make sure everythings is good down there. do i really have to go to a gyno or no? i'm not sexually active and i don't plan on it for a long time.

edit:!! my problem with this is. if i ask to go to gyno, my mom will flip out on me, worrying that im being sexual active. is there a free way of getting checked up without my parents knowing about it?

2. there is a discharge, not even a discharge but it seems to be caught between the lips (i dont know the correct term). it's brownish, and i thought it was just caught up skin but i just want to make sure. its only in the lips, should i have to worry about it, or just clean it up everytime i see it?

thanks to those who answer!

Comments

[nadyezhda.livejournal.com]

You should go once a year or so. It's good practice- just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you aren't at risk for the big scaries that can affect anyone.

Good to get a baseline, anyway. It's not a whole lot of fun, but your friends will all sympathize. See if you can get one to go with you and wait for you... and the doc/nurse should explain everything they're doing. If they don't, ask them.

[https://users.livejournal.com/-out-of-tune/]

is there a way where you can get checked up without my parents knowing about it?

[citizengwen.livejournal.com]

maybe you could tell your mom about it. Assure her that you aren't having sex and don't plan to, but that you want to make sure you aren't at risk for anything in particular.

[scraatch.livejournal.com]

It seems strange your mom would care about her 20 year old daughter having sex.. but if for some reason she does, I agree, explain you want to make sure everything is ok anyway.

[nephron.livejournal.com]

Different parents have different beliefs.

I know my mother would freak out if she found out I was having sex- now, or really any time that I wasn't married.

[ncsu-lady.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Over 18 you are more than past the age of confidentiality though hopefully your parents would understand wanting to be healthy. A yearly exam is just an expected thing for health just as a general checkup is.

However you can go to Planned Parenthood or your college health facilities or talk to your general practitionar if you sincerly think that going to a gyn would be a sincere issue with your parents.

Most women find though that if they explain upfront that particularly over 18 they are at an age where they need to begin regular checkups for things like cervical cancer and breast exams by a doctor to just ensure that they stay healthy they will find *most* parents are ok with this. They will also find insurance covers the exams.

[himeykitty.livejournal.com]

Are you in school? I usually go to my college's health center.

[nadyezhda.livejournal.com]

Your doctor may be able to do the basics for you without requiring a special trip to an Gyn. Alternatively, planned parenthood can help for a reduced fee.

It may be difficult to get your mom to go along even if you tell her you're not having sex. Some people are not as comfortable with the idea at all. You might try to tell her what I told you- cancer, etc., doesn't occur just in non-virgins- if you feel comfortable trying. Otherwise, just call your doctor's office and ask if you can get a yearly gynocological check-up there without a referral elsewhere, and then just tell your mom you have to go to the doctor.

[ncsu-lady.livejournal.com]

The general recommendations for when to start seening a gyn are beginning to change for non-sexually active women. It was 18, now it is becoming 21. However it is up to you.
If you feel like your cycles are not a problem and you are generally healthy then you can wait. However if you have questions and would like to get checked out, you are certainly at an age where you are more than ready to begin seeing someone. If you have painful menstral cycles, long breaks between cycles or other concerns then you may seriously consider seeing someone.

As for your vagina, the outer lips are the vulva. Normal discharge can vary in color though anything with a distint unpleasant smell should get checked out.

[himeykitty.livejournal.com]

From what I've seen/read/heard, the usual standard for your first gyno visit is when you turn 18 or become sexually active, whichever happens first.

[myfoot-yourass.livejournal.com]

I would go and get checked out just in case. You can always go to Planned Parenthood and the services are confidential. I was in the same situation when I was younger and I was afraid my parents would find out. I ended up not using my own health insurance (under their names) and I went to PP.

[pvalov-rings.livejournal.com]

the guidelines have recently changed - it used to be that a woman should see a gyno when she turned 18, now the age is 21, unless she is sexually active, then she should go at that time. since you seem to have questions about your body (ex. discharge) even though you're not sexually active it's a great idea for you to go and just get acclimated to the gyno appointment since there may be times later where it's an emergency, and it's nice to be used to such situations before you're upset, you know?

if you're under 18, you need parental permission to see a doctor (something i find ridiculous). BUT you don't if it's a gyno. since you are over 18, you dont need parental permission for anything, and you havent needed it for the gyno for a long, long time. there's no reason your mom should find out, and while you probably have to pay a copay, your insurance should cover it.

good luck!

[shes--atiger.livejournal.com]

I called the gyno's out here before I went and asked if my parent had to go in with me if I was going to pay cash, etc, and they said yes. I don't remember my dad even signing anything, but yeah they told me he had to go :\

[swiggett.livejournal.com]

I often have brownish discharge a little at the beginning and then again at the end of my period. If you don't wear underwear, then it's not odd for discharge to stay on your body.

I didn't start seeing a gyno till I was sexually active, but I was 18 then. I think that if you feel the need to see a gyno, then you should. A pap smear is good for catching anything that could be off. It could tell you that everything is normal, or that you need something else.

Planned Parenthood is great: sliding scale pay, and confidentiality. My parents had insurance, but I didnt' use it for confidential reasons.

[caldoria.livejournal.com]

I think people exaggerate. Yes! You have less of a reason to see a gyno when you're still a virgin. I hear in some (civilized!) places in the world they don't push you to go until you're about 25. I'm glad to hear here it's about 21 now. But it's not a bad idea to go...it's never stupid. Especially if you have concerns.

You situation may not be too serious...not to be gruesome, but if the odor is really unusual and if you have discomfort, you may want to see a doctor. But I don't think the color of your discharge alone is too serious sounding.

I understand about your parents. Some of us just have different sorts of families. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think my parents need to know about my sexuality and sexual organs. Confidential doctor visits can be arranged. I think try Planned Parenthood.

I get bad responses a lot. Readers, please don't get on me about my opinion. I have mine and you have yours. I truly think checkups are wise. I've spent a lot of time for the last five or so years in serious research to come to my conclusions. A person should educate themselves and know their risks if they decide to be stubborn or are still too hesitant to see a doctor. And even if you go to a doctor, you should learn more about your body. Don't just depend on them.

To get on topic, what do we actually think about her condition? Any similar experiences?

[lintilla.livejournal.com]

In fact, last time I went to the doctor for a Pap smear, she told me I only have to go every two years because I am sexually active with a woman. My girlfriend got the same response from another doctor, so I think it's probably a safe suggestion. ;)

[ex-moksha367.livejournal.com]

I'm 23 and I'm seeing the gyno for the first time ever this month - but I also have painful menstrual cycles and probably would not be getting checked out otherwise. I am also inactive sexually so I never felt it was necessary to get checked out prior to the problems I'm experiencing now.
However, I am probably a very bad example! But it's up to you really. If the women in your family have had very good health when it comes to the girlie bits, and you take good care of yourself, it probably isn't as much of an issue as it would be if there was some sort of medical history that would be of concern. And your mother should really understand that you're being a mature, educated adult in wanting to make sure you are healthy. And you are 20 after all, so if you don't want her to know, she doesn't have to.
Good luck!