need advice

[lane4.livejournal.com]

I just found out that I'm pregnant. I want to keep the baby but I don't want to tell the father about it. The reason is that he isn't my boyfriend, he actually is engaged to someone else...I know, it's bad that I slept with him, but that's in the past and I want to make the best of the situation from now on. He does a lot of drugs, he's not a responsible person in my opinion and I don't want him to be involved with my kid. I know he would not be happy to hear I'm pregnant anyway. Can I just refuse to state the father's name? Will there be legal problems or something? Do you think it's ethical to do that or do I have to "give him a chance"?

I don't know, I'm confused right now but my instinct is just to keep him away :(

Comments

[pretzelsalt.livejournal.com]

consequences don't change the fact that he is already proven to be untrustworthy.

Baby or no baby he lies to people who trust him.

My point is the fiance finding out the truth - or knowing the truth - or whatever is NOT the job of the scared pregnant ex girlfriend.

Her only job is to take care of herself and the infant she is choosing to have.

That infant does not "need" to be connected to someone it happens to share some DNA with.

It is not the OP's duty to inform anyone - just to take care of herself and her pregnancy. It sounds to me like her gut is already leading her. Her instinct says - don't involve him.

That's enough for me.

[meleth.livejournal.com]

I wasn't trying to say what the OP should or should not do; I was trying to offer another possible viewpoint that deserved consideration. She's considering what the father does or does not deserve in this situation, and I thought it was just as important to focus on what his fiancee does or does not deserve. That may not change the outcome any, nor am I specifically saying it should, but it's important to consider all the angles when making a decision of this magnitude.

[pretzelsalt.livejournal.com]

"and I thought it was just as important to focus on what his fiancee does or does not deserve."

And he should have done that before cheating on her.

"but it's important to consider all the angles when making a decision of this magnitude. "

again something he really should have done.