After so long...I get this?!?!!?

[red-rogue.livejournal.com]

Ok, short view into my "sex life"...I was seeing this drummer of a band for like a year or so, and we were strictly friends with benefits. The sex was SO incredible and always lasted at least 30 minutes...even when we were short on time! *laughs*

Sadly, he moved away to another state to join another band, and for about a month...I was sexless. *poo* :o(

NOW!!!! I met this WONDERFUL guy who may even be cool enough to be "boyfriend" material. After both of us realizing we had the "hots" for each other, one night we decided to go to the next level and have sex (protected of course). He hadn't had sex in like 10 months (so he says) and well. I was terribly disappointed. The entire sex session had to of lasted about 3-4 minutes total...and for someone like me who is a SEX MANIAC that was one of the biggest let downs.

So...I decided to give him another shot the next day...he MAYBE lasted 5 minutes. He kind of stopped in the middle and goes "I need your cock ring". *sighs* I didn't want to risk getting up and finding it and him losing his erection so I was like "bite your tongue or something..." too late....game over.

Anyone got ANY advice on how I can make this man last longer?!?!? I mean I wanna wake up the next day and STILL be sore...HELP ME PLEASE!!!! this sexaholic can't do 5 minute sex sessions!!!

 

P.S. It's ok to laugh...I find this post kind of funny myself. *cries* :op

Comments

[meaningrequired.livejournal.com]

More foreplay for you? Toys! :D

[amazing-x.livejournal.com]

Haha. Try sextips :-)

[mercurysmile.livejournal.com]

awkward positions!

[mypoorfriendme.livejournal.com]

I had a boyfriend like that once... Eek. The only thing that ever worked was to do something to make him cum first (oral or a handjob, whatever) and then have sex... However, that could seriously backfire if he's a guy who has trouble getting horny again soon.

I'm trying to remember- are you the one who's getting her wisdom teeth out and was worried about dry socket?

[mercurysmile.livejournal.com]

oh oh and keep stopping. like, if he gets a good rhythmn, he'll be off in 20 seconds, you know? but if you keep changing the pace, and pausing, and even pulling him out for a second (this is nice because you get the pleasure of having him penetrate again) it'll drag it out longer. Sometimes it's fun to have sex for a few minutes, stop and just play around, and then go back at it.

It sucks adjusting to a new partner who doesn't necessarily perform in the same way the last one did. I can't remember ever having sex with a new person and not thinking "oh, interesting, that was different." It takes a while to figure out what you need to do with eachother to have great sex that's satisfying for both of you, and sometimes as you get comfortable with one another it just falls into place anyway. Don't give up on the poor guy, he'll pull through :)

[naomi-log.livejournal.com]

here's a relationship tip: never ever EVER let him see this post :P

[mandapants74.livejournal.com]

I have a question for you. You mention cock rings...know any tutorial sites or anything explaining what sizes to get?

And P.S. I totally thought this was a post in bad sex, hahahaha! It's just a jokey community where people complain about having bad sex for fun. If I'd known it was vagpag...nah, I probaby still would have said, "fucking."

[rachelish.livejournal.com]

this isn't any good advice, but your situation reminds me of an episode of sex and the city. do you watch that? carrie had just started dating a guy, and they were great in all other aspects of their relationship, but the first few times they had sex it was really bad. but basically, after a few times they kind of worked things out and adjusted to each other and things were good. it was a funny episode. so, i think you guys should just keep trying, and i agree with what others have said about it having been so long since he's had sex. maybe he just has to get used to it again and he'll be able to last longer.

[rawbery79.livejournal.com]

There is a chapter in The Guide To Getting It On! that goes over just this issue. I'm planning on doing it with the guy I'm fucking--he's older and says he has always had issues with lasting.

[rockstarbob.livejournal.com]

How about keeping the cock rings and other such items closer to the bed (or wherever you're likely to get it on)?

[indistinctive.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend used to have this problem when we first started dating, but now he can last for a really, really long time and the sex is incredible. So I have lots of advice I can give about what worked for us.

Starting and stopping really works. It takes patience, and you both have to be aware of what's going on with him. Have him pull out when he needs to. It helps if you are on top and can control the starting and stopping. Be patient. It'll probably take at least few months, and definitely for the first little while there will be times where he tries to stop and it's just a little too late, but it'll get a little better each time, and there are worse things to practice getting better at. ;)

Honestly, I think (and my partner does too) that this problem often stems from how most guys masturbate. (Really quickly!) My partner made a point of lengthening his masturbation sessions, and that made a huge difference too. "Edging" I guess it's called. (Get close to an orgasm, stop, let the feeling fade, get close to orgasm again, then let it fade...repeat as necessary!) You could also use this technique on him during a hand-job or blow-job, which is nice.

I think the other thing is that my partner does some kind of exercise with his penis. When he's hard, he flexes it to strengthen the muscles. Kind of like kegels for the penis? I'm sure there is a technical name, but I don't know what it is. Anyway, that also helped him with control.

Basically, it's just a matter of building up his endurance. I've read a lot of things that just suggest letting him come quickly, and then having him do something else for you until he's ready to go again, but I never liked that method. It doesn't really address the problem, IMO.

Anyway, I'm am extremely satisfied with our sex life now, so it was definitely worth the effort. (We've been together 4 years now.) My partner also says his orgasms are so much better now compared to how they used to be when he could only last a few minutes. So it's a win-win situation!

Good luck!

[robynchick.livejournal.com]

Practice makes perfect *grin*

No really, let him masturbate an hour or so (or less!) beforehand. Over time he will desensitize.

[roaring-woman.livejournal.com]

My husband can last as long as he choses. In fact, sometimes he purposely keeps going and I have too tell him to get on with it already!

He just pauses a lot. Our sex is usually slower and quite sensual - we hardly ever bang each other - so it is very easy for me too tell when he is getting too worked up - and it is very easy for him to stop for a moment. I love it actually - it builds the intensity to huge proportions. Sometimes, it gets so intense that he and I hardly even move at all - until I begin to climax and then we go long and hard.

So tell him that he needs to start pausing the second he feels he is getting too close. I don't know how my husband learned this - too bad he doesn't us LJ. He could give some good tips.

I hate disappointing sex - especially when it is with someone you really like. I've had that experience several times in my life.