A question about tubals

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

Are there women here who have had their tubes "tied" -- especially women under 30?

If so, did you have difficulty finding a doctor who would perform the operation for you? My sister just had it done last month, and I went with her. She's in her late 30s and didn't run into any obstacles, but I remember when she was in her mid 20s she couldn't find a doctor to agree to do the proceedure.

I just feel it's time. My boyfriend and I have talked about him having a vasectomy. He wants to do it, and it makes more sense since the proceedure is less invasive for men ... but I also know that he's terrified of andy kind of surgery, and I don't feel like waiting any longer.

Any imput on what I should expect or suggestions would be appreciated. [I also plan on posting this at childfree so I apologize in advance for those who may get this multiple times].

Comments

[geminigirl]

I have a friend who had it done when she was in her twenties. Don't know what her story is though about how difficult it was to find a doctor who was willing to do it-I met her after it was done, and didn't know about it until she made a comment about it as we were passing the hospital where it was done.

Honestly, the thought of doing it has never crossed my mind, so beyond that, I'm can't be of much more help than to say "I know someone who had it done."

Good luck.

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

When my mom was 21 she had me. As soon as she could after I was born, she got her tubes tied.
I think she was 22. The doctor did not want to do it, but she was able to convince him that she couldn't afford to have any more children as she was a single mother living on welfare. He did it for her.

Im not sure if it was because of her situation or because the doc was easy going, but she was able to get it done very young.

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

That's very incouraging! Thank you :)

I've known ever since I was young that I did not want to have children. I love children (I wouldn't be a teacher if I didn't), but I have my reasons for not wanting motherhood.

If, one day, I truly feel that I need to have one of my own I want to adopt. There are so many children who need homes; adoption makes more sense to me than making a brand new one ;)

Re:

[garygetsnolove.livejournal.com]

I think thats a wonderful idea. Im lucky enough to be a lesbian so none of this is an issue for me, but I wish you the best of luck in finding a doctor who will do the procedure for you.

:D

I am no longer under 30...

[razzle.livejournal.com]

...but I had a tubal when I was 23. I had it done at a private clinic, but I remember they were advertising tubals in the paper, that's how I found them. I had to have a little talk with the doctor to convince him I knew what I was doing, and he emphasized the fact that tubals should be considered irreversible. But I proved I wasn't going to change my mind. At the time my insurance even covered it - so after signing lots of paperwork, I had the procedure with no delay. I have never regretted it.

If you are certain that you never want to have children (with your boyfriend or anyone else), then you should have the tubal.

If your boyfriend is certain that he never wants to father children (with you or anyone else), then he should have the vasectomy.

This is an issue of personal choice and responsibility, and you two may stay together forever - or not. If there's ANY chance that your views on having children would be different if you were with a different partner, then don't have this surgery.

Re: I am no longer under 30...

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your advice :)

He's definately sure that he doesn't want kids, and so am I. Women always have to bear the brunt of anything to do with sex and procreation ... it has always made more sense to me if a man would do it, since it's a less invasive proceedure. But ultimately, it is something that I want to do.

If, for some reason I were to ever change my mind and want kids, I still have no desire for the pregnancy process. Please note that this is in no way a slight against women who have decided to have their own children, we're all individuals and should do what's best for US, but I've always felt it would be selfish for me to go out of my way to create another life when there are so many children out there who are unwanted. I'm a teacher and I see it everyday. In that case, I would adopt.

Re: I am no longer under 30...

[razzle.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's exactly the way I felt! Good luck!

On the subject of tubals...

[crackofdawn.livejournal.com]

I haven't had one (obviously... I still don't feel positive that anything I believe right now will still be my belief in five year's time), but I've heard of tubals not actually working. My aunt had her tubes tied and then got pregnant. I'm sure this isn't that common or even relevent, but I thought I'd throw it out there :)

Re: On the subject of tubals...

[shadowfae.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) It's definately something for me to keep in mind.

Re: On the subject of tubals...

[ninaf.livejournal.com]

Yep there is a .5% failure rate with tubals and snipsnips on the boys. It can happen.

Re: On the subject of tubals...

[haggis.livejournal.com]

There was a court case about this in Britain a few years ago, although I can't find any details. The man had a vascetomy and then his wife got pregnant. They sued the hospital. however, the final verdict (after several appeals) went against them, as the judge said that a child was always a good thing.

Re: On the subject of tubals...

[perplexxi.livejournal.com]

wow, that's very interesting.

Re: On the subject of tubals...

[haggis.livejournal.com]

I'll see if I can find more info on it.

[melebeth]

I have to warn you that depending on a) where you live and b) your socio-economic class, you may have a _very_ difficult time finding a doctor who is willing to do a tubal on a woman in her 20s. They can be extremely worried about getting sued when (they think) you want kids in 10 years and decide to take it out on them. (Hence the socioeconomic class comment - they're more worried about middle class white women sueing them) Several of my friends have had a great deal of difficulty finding doctors to do tubals on them, and one of the professors I've T.A.d for is a gynecologic surgeon so reluctant that she'll make people come back several times before she'll even consider agreeing. (I also know someone who got pregnant after a tubal... twice, but that was a while ago and they do the procedure differently now)

[perplexxi.livejournal.com]

since you mentioned a vasectomy being less invasive, i was wondering if you've heard of Essure? it's a permanent BC for women where they insert [what looks like] a ball-point pen spring in your tubes and scar tissue forms over them, closing them up. it involves no surgery and is done right in your dr's office. takes a few minutes and there is no "recovery times" since there's nothing to recover from. this is already practiced overseas and Australia (where many BC methods have already been approved, though acceptance tends to lag here in the states). they've submitted their application to the FDA and are expected to be approved by the turn of the year. if you feel like waiting a until it's available here, maybe it's something to consider? or you could always take a nice trip down under and visit the croc hunter on a little sterilization trip -=]

here are some links:
http://www1.mydr.com.au/default.asp?article=3223
http://www.shinesa.org.au/shine/article_detail.stm?ref_id=242&ban_id=2 (have to scroll a bit)

the homepage (http://www.essure.com.au/static/what.html) offers excellent info on all three PBC options, along with a thorough FAQs section (http://www.essure.com.au/static/faq.html).

good luck.

[rupie-zum.livejournal.com]

I had a coworker who had her tubes tied when she was 25. Her doctor said she would do it as long as this woman had a pysch screening first, and talked it over with someone so that she knew for sure that she wanted to make this choice.

[magickalmoon.livejournal.com]

I'm in Australia, and I'm assuming you are in the USA, so it's different here, but I basically begged my doc to do mine after baby number 4. He still tried to talk me out of it.. I got the "talk", what if I want another, what if one dies, etc etc.. I knew what I wanted, and finally he agreed..

[haggis.livejournal.com]

what if one dies !!!

As if you'd want to replace the child who died, like getting a new puppy?

[magickalmoon.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much how I felt too. You could never replace a lost child with another. While you may fill an empty space, it could never be the same..

[mynameistaken.livejournal.com]

Doctors usually will not do a tubal on a patient if she is under 21-get this-without your parents signing for it-even if your married. I'm assuming your over 21, it may take a few doctor consult's to find one who is willing, and yes they will try to talk you out of it, but it's possible.

I had one when I was 26, after three children, and they still tried to talk me out of it. But I was persistant and I after they delivered the baby(via c-section) I popped my head up and asked just to make sure they were doing it.