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vaginapaginaThis is kind of random, but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who mentioned the DivaCup in this community.. I read about it a couple months ago, ordered it and got it for $25 including s&h from this website: http://www.tendertouchcare.com/product_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=261 (they give 10% off to new members), received it in 3 days and tested it out immediately. My first week had me fumbling with it, begging my poor vagina to take it even though it wasn't a friendly penis, or penis shape.. it was awkward then, but now, it's almost a cinch to put in and take out.. so I really love it and want to thank all of you for bringing it to my attention.
Now, however, I have a question. The women in my family have a history of ovarian cysts and other probs that cause very heavy bleeding during menstruation.. My aunt-aged 42- (whom i'd like to have try the DivaCup out) is a particularly heavy bleeder (soaking through overnights in a couple of hours), and she cannot wear tampons because they're useless for her. Would the DivaCup be a good solution? or is it likely that she'd have to empty and clean it too frequently for it to even be useful for someone like her??
Also, is there a certain minimum age for divacup wearing? Can someone who's just starting their period wear it for example, or is it recommended that it not be worn until someone has experienced sexual intercourse and is at least familiar with that area down there. Inserting the divacup is slightly more complicated than inserting a tampon (cause the damn thing keeps popping open if you don't have a good grip).
Oh, I have one more random question.. I keep reading everywhere that after childbirth, and as women grow older in general, the vaginal muscles grow more lax and stretch so that a woman loses her tightness. If one exercises one's kegals before and after pregnancy, is it possible to return to the tightness one had in one's youth? Also, does having strong kegals make delivery harder because the canal is much tighter requiring you to stretch more? I always figured that when women say that by the time their pushing out their 3rd or so child, it's not painful, I figured that it wasn't because they were used to it, but because their muscles grew more lax and aren't really fighting to stay tight, so they baby just slides forth from these lax muscles.. if there is some validity to that, wouldn't that mean that by keeping those muscles tight and "youthful," one is ensuring painful pregnancies for oneself?
Also, what gratification does a woman get from having tight vaginal muscles? Is the gratification solely for her male partner???
Now, however, I have a question. The women in my family have a history of ovarian cysts and other probs that cause very heavy bleeding during menstruation.. My aunt-aged 42- (whom i'd like to have try the DivaCup out) is a particularly heavy bleeder (soaking through overnights in a couple of hours), and she cannot wear tampons because they're useless for her. Would the DivaCup be a good solution? or is it likely that she'd have to empty and clean it too frequently for it to even be useful for someone like her??
Also, is there a certain minimum age for divacup wearing? Can someone who's just starting their period wear it for example, or is it recommended that it not be worn until someone has experienced sexual intercourse and is at least familiar with that area down there. Inserting the divacup is slightly more complicated than inserting a tampon (cause the damn thing keeps popping open if you don't have a good grip).
Oh, I have one more random question.. I keep reading everywhere that after childbirth, and as women grow older in general, the vaginal muscles grow more lax and stretch so that a woman loses her tightness. If one exercises one's kegals before and after pregnancy, is it possible to return to the tightness one had in one's youth? Also, does having strong kegals make delivery harder because the canal is much tighter requiring you to stretch more? I always figured that when women say that by the time their pushing out their 3rd or so child, it's not painful, I figured that it wasn't because they were used to it, but because their muscles grew more lax and aren't really fighting to stay tight, so they baby just slides forth from these lax muscles.. if there is some validity to that, wouldn't that mean that by keeping those muscles tight and "youthful," one is ensuring painful pregnancies for oneself?
Also, what gratification does a woman get from having tight vaginal muscles? Is the gratification solely for her male partner???
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Date: 2004-07-15 07:25 am (UTC)just that word "tear" brings the most horrific images to mind.. a friend of mine had a child when she was 18 and during delivery, her skin tore from her vagina, right to her anus... an absolutely horrifying thought.. but if she had worked her pc muscles beforehand, would that not have happened???
Sorry this is so long...
Date: 2004-07-15 08:07 am (UTC)In case you don't know: An episiotomy is a small cut made with a knife or (more common) scissors. The cut is made at the bottom of the vagina, on the perineum. The (flawed) theory is that it prevents tearing and speeds labor and heals better. What it acually does is speeds about by just a few minutes (which sometimes *do* count, rarely), causes unnecessary pain to the mother during birth and afterwards during stiching, makes tears more likely, damages muscle and nerve, and opens another way for infection.
Have you ever tried to rip a sheet, or a towel, or some denim? It's hard, right? Until you make a small snip with some scissors... Then the fabric rips easily. Same with episiotomies. That little snip the doctor gives makes it dramatically easier for the perineum to rip dramatically, sometimes requiring reconstructive surgery.
Lots of doctors like to give episiotomies because a straight smooth cut is easier to stitch than a more ragged tear. (Many people, including me, believe that doctors also have another, subconscious, motivation. Uncomplicated birth isn't really a medical thing. It'll progress just fine without a doctor. There really isn't anything for him to do besides moniter for problems and catch the baby. Doctors are trained to doctor, so he creates a situation that needs his particular skills, medicalizing the birth. I don't think this is a deliberate thing, rather a subconscious drive inherent in medical training.)
A natural tear will just tear the skin. Yeah, it hurts like a bitch, but I'd equate the pain level with stubbing my toe or banging my shin on the table. Not a really big deal. Felt like a bruise.
An episiotomy cuts through muscle, in a straight line, and torn/cut muscles hurt more and take much longer to heal than skin. The scar tissue is usually greater, and scarred muscle doesn't function as well.
In your friend's case, strong PC muscles *might* have helped. The stronger the muscles, the less likely it would tear. However, if she had an episiotomy, there might not been a whole lot she could have done to prevent the severe tear.
I'd also be willing to bet she was induced, or was given pitocin during labor to "speed things up". Pitocin makes contractions tremendously stronger, out of control strong, and it could have forced her to birth the baby before her perineum had time to stretch properly. Pitocin + episiotomy = a bad tear. And if you add something like an epidural, your body can't feel when you should chill on the pushing for a moment, which also increases your risk for a tear. Interventions during labor almost always multiply, and that can be a very bad thing. (Not always. I know women who've had very medicalized births and loved them, but those women are rare.)
To help prevent tearing during labor: Stay very well hydrated throughout your pregnancy. Hydrated tissue is stronger and stretchier. Give yourself (or have your partner do it) perineal massages, to help make your perineum stretchy. Use a midwife for your delivery. She'll do everything in her power to keep you from tearing, including supporting and massaging (with olive oil, usually) your perineum during labor. Avoid pitocin and numbing drugs if at all possible. Don't let anyone cut you, unless those few minutes could make the difference between a very bad outcome and a good one. (Situations like that are actually very very rare.) Walk around and relax your pelvic floor during labor. Gravity helps the baby to come down and stretch your perineum. Stretching is good. Tearing is bad. Getting cut is the worst.
Re: Sorry this is so long... Part two
Date: 2004-07-15 08:07 am (UTC)And to help put your mind at ease: I tore with both my deliveries, what they call a second degree tear (which is about half an inch). I felt myself tear while pushing out my second son, and it was really really weird, but not terribly painful. I have hurt myself much more badly working out, to tell you the honest truth. And you *do* feel like you've earned this pain. laugh Trust me! It's the hardest workout! Afterwards, while I was healing, my vagina felt badly bruised. That pain faded in a few days, and I was completely healed in a week or so. I was tender for several weeks, but not so much that I winced when I sat down. :)
Really severe tears like your friend's are rare and are vitually always the result of interventions snowballing.
A young mom goes to a hospital. She's scared of the birth and the doctor, the procedures, and her labor slows down. They give her an IV, which keeps her in bed, and give her pitocin. Her contractions hurt much more, so they give her an epidural. She can't feel it, but her contractions are speeding up and getting harder. As she's pushing (hen she's told to, instead of when her body pushes naturally) the doctor snips her, and boom, she tears. Bad mojo.
Feel free to ask me specific questions if you've got them. :) I don't know if this is the appropriate place or not, so you can email me at quantumsarah (at) yahoo (dot) com.
Re: Sorry this is so long... Part two
Date: 2004-07-15 10:53 am (UTC)