About birth control... sort of

[silverthief.livejournal.com]

Cut for length and x-posted in sextips.



Ok, me and my boyfriend have been sexually active for a while. We used condoms at first because I would have had to explain to my parents that we had started having sex to get on birth control and I wasn’t ready for that. (I don’t really get along with my mom and she’s really nosey so I couldn’t ever get a time to just tell my dad and not her) So, me and my boyfriend used condoms for a while. Eventually my parents found out that we were having sex and I was able to get on birth control, but me and my boyfriend continued to use condoms for several reasons. For one I was on depo, and I had constant breakthrough bleeding and he has a bit of phobia about blood, plus condoms made clean up easier sense I was bleeding. Also I was nervous anyway because I’m in high school and am in no position to be having a child, and it wasn’t like he had any trouble getting off. So because of all of that there was no reason to stop using condoms. After about 4 hellish months of depo I switched to seasonel which I am currently on and have been for about a month and a half. My boyfriend never asked to stop using condoms out of respect for me, plus he’s never had sex without a condom. So he saw no benefit for him. I have never had sex without a condom either. I know the pill can be used as the sole contraceptive, but is that truly safe to do? I’m going to college next year away from my boyfriend (we don’t plan on splitting up though) but because well be apart and both in school (both of us are in no position to be able to quit) it would be impossible to raise a child. So, with all of that said what are the chances of me getting pregnant on seasonel? Also, what are some benefits or downsides to sex without a condom? Any tips or words of wisdom would be helpful too. I haven’t brought up to my boyfriend about sex without a condom yet. I wanted to go to him well informed, and I’m doing my own research too besides just asking yall. Thank you!

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/defenestrator_/]

Well, this is just a personal opinion, obviously...it can only be a personal choice.

From this page:
http://www.wdxcyber.com/m2contra.htm#m06
"From scientific studies where individuals have been highly motivated to comply, the pregnancy rate for the pills is 0.1% or 1 per 1000. Overall, however, the pregnancy rate in actual use is 3% or 30 per 1000."
Source for these numbers is Speroff et al, Clinical Gynecologic Endocrinology and Infertility, 5th edition, 1994, p. 689.

The reason there is such a difference between the .1% and the acutal pregnancy rate is mostly due to the fact that we don't always take pills the way they're supposed to be taken - some people might forget a pill, or not take it at the same time every day, for example.

As for personal experience:
When I was with my first boyfriend and we were strictly monogamous and had both been virgins with no needle drug use, we didn't use condoms once I was on the pill. And I couldn't really imagine using them.

Now 15 years later, I can't really imagine having sex without a condom. For a whole lot of reasons...because I am not 100% about taking my birth control at the same time every day...sometimes because I am not in a monogamous relationship with someone who has already been checked out medically...and mostly because I really really don't want to get pregnant. I would not have a baby and I do not want to go through having an abortion.

In my last relationship, which was wonderful and lasted several years, I started thinking about finally ditching the condoms. And then I found out that he had cheated on me. It was just once and he was really really sorry, but that doesn't change the fact that, had we not been using condoms, I could have been exposed to STDs. And my ex is not a scumbag, he NEVER thought he would sleep with someone else and he desperately wishes he hadn't. But it happened, and now I feel like I really can't rely on anyone else to make sure that I don't get an STD.
It's in my hands. That's why I use condoms.

But that's just where *I* am. You sound like you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders, so I'm sure you'll figure out what's right for you.

Good luck!

[silverthief.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot! Youre real life account helped. I hadnt thought much about the possibility of him cheating on me or me cheating on him (yeah, i never would and he never would, but you know...) and thats definatly something i should address to him along with this.

[siriel.livejournal.com]

I personally didn't think that birth control pills alone were enough to satisfy my paranoia, which was one of the reasons I got an IUD (I was also sick of the BCP side effects). Now that I have my IUD I happily have sex without condoms -- I'm not worried about STIs from my partner and the IUD failure rate is low enough on its own.

Sex without a condom feels different. It doesn't make a huge phenomenal difference, but there is *a* difference.

I'd say use both Seasonale and condoms -- you'll have a better time if you're confident in your contraception.

[benthicblue.livejournal.com]

Personally, I always used two forms of birth control, the Pill and a condom. I didn't want kids, so I made sure it wasn't going to happen. Some people seem to really hate using condoms. I didn't and neither did my partner so it just wasn't a big deal. I'd say if it makes you less paranoid, continue using two forms.

[athena-marz.livejournal.com]

i've been on the pill for 5 or 6 months now (i lost track) and my husband and i never use condoms while i'm on the pill. he doesn't mind blood either so we don't even use them on my placebo week. anyways...i'm not pregnant but i am also very careful about taking my pills on time.

[dokuya.livejournal.com]

i use the pill as sole form of contraception.
but note:
i have my cell phone alarm to remind me to take it, and even if i'm not near the phone, i think of it within a safe range of time (max. 30 min).
if i'm on any medication that either interferes with bc or it's not clear whether it does, we use back-up for the whole month.
if i experienced vomitting or diarrhea (over several days), i'd do the same.
my partner and me are both clean and in a monogamous relationship.

i'm not worried.

[bohica-susfu.livejournal.com]

I've always heard it is best to use two forms of contraception. It's just wise to be doubly prepaired if you really really really don't want/can't have kids right now.

I personally haven't used them in a while because my last partner had a latex allergy and polyurithane condoms are SO expensive. Just my personal opinion among many.