New US legal definition of "rape"

[inchoate.livejournal.com]

( Cut for triggering issues )

Feminine Odor

[kymmeebear.livejournal.com]

The past 3 days I have been having some not so very pleasant smelling discharge from down there.  I havent  had sex since september and have NEVER experienced a smell like this before.  I honestly don't know how to describe it. It kinda smells like dirty feet (EW!) I just got off of my period and used scented tampons for the first time(not sure if this could have caused it).  Anyways, I was wondering if any of you have ever had this problem before, how long it lasted, or if its something that I need to worry about.
Please and thank you for all your help. 

Plan B & HBC?

[dozy-winterstar.livejournal.com]

Hi all!

I'm a super worried-type. I'm on ortho tri cyclen and my boyfriend & I always use condoms when we have sex. On Christmas (day 1 of my new pack) a condom spilled a little but not in or too near my vagina. I was good about not missing pills or anything after that.

On the first day of my next placebo week (last sunday) the condom broke. I took plan b immediately after that. I'm at the end of my placebo week & no sign of the fake period. Is it because I took a super dose of hormones? Should I be worried or am I worrying too much?

Painful sex question

[varita9.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone,
I really need some advice. I'm in a relationship where I don't enjoy sex. Because I'm not attracted to my partner at all, sex for me is really painful and distasteful. I'm wondering if you guys can give me any suggestions on how to make it more enjoyable for myself, or at least less painful.
Some solutions I've already thought of:
- Talk to boyfriend about having less or no sex: I could do this, but sex is something he wants and needs, and I want to satisfy that for him.
- Leave the relationship: I don't want to do this because of other reasons (mutual love and respect are nothing to sneeze at). It's a long-term relationship and I'm happy in it except for the sex.
- Use lube: we do, and it helps with the pain somewhat.
- Fantasize: easier said than done. Even if I try to fantasize I can never manage to get my mind off what we're actually doing.
- I'm on birth control, maybe that's affecting my sex drive?

I'm afraid you guys are going to say that I'm not being fair to him, or that having grudging sex is worse than not having it at all, or something like that. That's what I'm afraid of I guess. I want to be fair and good to him, I just don't know the best way to do that. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life having sex I don't enjoy. Anyway, that's why I'm here I guess.
Thank you in advance for any advice.

Reduced Libido and Birth Control Pills: How long did it take for your sex drive to come back?

[shihtzulover.livejournal.com]

Hi Everyone,

I'm really starting to freak out here.  I went on birth control pills right before my 18th birthday, and I'm 25 now.  I never discontinued use, because doctors always swore that there was no reason to, even when I wasn't in a relationship.

Over the seven years that I was on them, my sex drive has continued to decrease, and it eventually barely existed at all.  I tried all different brands and types of pills, but switching didn't seem to help much.

Before I started taking the pills, I had a very high sex drive.  It just seems really ironic and unfair - back in high school, when I had a very high libido, I resisted the urge to have sex.  Then, I got on the Pill, and never really enjoyed having sex, and I've not even been very interested in it anymore.  It really affected my relationships.

Now, I'm engaged, and I only have the desire to have sex about once every two weeks.  Even then, I don't really 'get in the mood' that much, and I could usually really just take it or leave it.  It feels like I'm going through the motions of sex, but that I'm not nearly as into it as I want to be.

A month ago, I finally got a copper IUD (Paragard) and ditched the pills.  The problem is that I haven't really seen an increase in my sex drive at all, except when I was ovulating - and that increase only lasted for about two days.  Now, I'm back to nothing.

Apparently, it used to be said that the birth control pill did not alter the libido in the long term, and that discontinuation would stop all bad effects.  I guess doctors just assumed that if a woman's libido did not return, it was just because she would not have had a high sex drive during that stage of her life anyway, regardless of whether she ever took the Pill or not.

I just read about a research study that shows that the Pill may permanently greatly increase the levels of SBHG, which is produced by the liver and binds free testosterone - neutralizing it and making it unusable.  Free testosterone is essential for a woman's libido, and the increased SBHG really seems to decrease it.  I have been reading that this effect lasts for years after stopping the Pill, and that it may even be permanent.

I am really horrified.  I want to be a sexual being again.  I want to enjoy being intimate with my fiancé, and I am so frustrated and scared that I will never feel normal again.  I have asked on some communities that do not focus on sexual health at all, and many women said that it took years for their sex drive to really return, or that it never did.

I'm really hoping that all of this is wrong, and that my sex drive returns very soon.

What have you all experienced?  Did the Pill reduce your sex drive?  Did it come back after discontinuing the Pill? If so, how long did it take?

I sincerely appreciate all of your responses!

Question about HBC.

[karalianne.livejournal.com]

First, thank you everyone for your advice on my last post about my dry lips and my co-worker's period migraines. I had relief for a few days and now my lips are all dry again, so I've found some of my beeswax lip gloss and I'm using that. As for the other, I try not to make unsolicited suggestions; if she complains, I will ask her if she would like some ideas because I did some reading and asking around, and if she says no I will leave it at that. (I've had lots of unsolicited advice about some of my own problems, and I know how annoying it is!)

So here's the question. It's not something I need to know now, but I am curious about how long it typically takes for a woman to become pregnant after she stops taking HBC. Does it depend on how long she's been on the pill, how perfect her use has been, or maybe even how old she is?

I've been on Yaz for about two years now, and have near-perfect use. We aren't planning to start trying to get pregnant quite yet (definitely not until after my cyst is removed); probably not until late this year at the earliest, and I'll turn 36 in September.

Mostly I'm just curious what the average is. I know that some women get pregnant right away, and others take months, but I don't know what the usual is.

Betty Dodson Explains (and Demonstrates) How To Have An Orgasm

[dkwgdk.livejournal.com]

Dear VP Peeps--

I was looking around on the Dodson/Ross website and came across this TV show from the Netherlands:

http://p3.no/trekant/trekant-sesong-2-episode-2/

In it, starting around 33:35, Dodson explains how to have an orgasm while her website partner, Carlin Ross, actually does it. She emphasizes rhythmic muscle contraction and deep breathing.  People have orgasms in lots of different ways (and they are all good!), but I thought this one might be of interest to the VP community. I found the video itself to be extremely tastefully done while also being very clear.  You do, in fact, see Carlin's vulva and vagina as she brings herself to orgasm.  It's like a very calm yoga class or massage instruction, actually. I realized, too, that this is pretty much what I do when I masturbate (sorry if that's TMI) but I could try a couple of variations suggested in the video.

I like this because, again, it's a very clear explanation of something to try, and because Carlin is masturbating -- she's doing it for herself. Sometimes sex instructional videos where other people touch the person having an orgasm make me really uncomfortable.

CAVEAT: This is a video of a woman having an orgasm.  Straight up.  It's not safe for [most] work.

Long term relationship, less and less sex.

[justforapicture.livejournal.com]

Hi Superstars!
It's been a while since I've posted. I guess that's a good thing!

I'm looking for some advice on sex...
I am going on my third year in a relationship with a man I love very, very much. He's 25, I'm 21. We've been dating since college. I'm satisfied with how everything is going, regardless of our rough times. He's definitely the person I want to be with for the rest of my life!
So, there's been some sex issues. The first year of sex was wonderful, frequent (4-5 x a week), but the standalone issue was...he can't finish in front of me. He can with masturbation, and we've played the whole "let's both masturbate with eachother" thing, and he finished then, but he cant when we have sex. He says it's not a case of the "death grip" (or that it's nothing I'm doing wrong), it's just not happening. I, too, have had issues finishing, but I'm on anti depressants and have an extensive issue with depression and anxiety, so my mind NEVER stops going...but I always have fun and enjoy the time I have with him, regardless if there's a big shabang at the end.

So, the sex slowed down once I reached a point where I had a period for 3 months. I was so stressed and just disgusted with myself, and it just stopped for a while. After that, I had pain during sex, and after that I had an D&C and IUD put in. So, for the last two years, we've been having sex once a month at best.

Now we're back in the swing of normal life, except that I work 50-60 hours a week and we're both EXHAUSTED. I have a hard time getting turned on by anything other than the occasional gorgeous british musician or cute guy walking by. I'm not interested in these people, but the "new" feeling is the only thing I ever had that REALLY turned me on. I always ended relationships because that feeling faded, and I'm finally sticking it out. I'm realizing there's a whole other level once you've gotten to this point, and I'm very happy where I am, but I'm scared that it's a bad thing we don't have sex often. We have so much fun, and I love him to death, and he loves me, and I want him to be happy, but sex isn't our top priority and it feels so forced and routine to me when we do it. I just can't get excited about it. It's stressful.

Any ideas? I don't want to give up on this!

What to do after completing an 18 month term on Dianette

[vinylmai.livejournal.com]

Within the next month or so i will have completed an 18 month course of the HBC Dianette. I was originally prescribed Dianette because of my acne problem (now i also use it as contraception) and it has really helped my skin although not cleared it up completely but certainly made it bearable.
I am a 19 year old who has normal blood pressure, doesn't smoke and has no history of Coronary disease in the family however i'm pretty certain my GP will not continue to let me take Dianette for any longer (fair enough).
My big concern, however, is that my hormones are still all over the place and my acne will come back with a vengeance as soon as i stop taking a HBC that is designed to block Testosterone production. 
Before being prescribed Dianette i took Yasmin for 9 months and it affected my moods so badly that i lost friends and even my family didn't want to be around me so, naturally, i want to avoid going back to it even though it helped my skin.

So here's my main questions:
- Do you know of any other HBCs (available in the UK) that help with acne that i could ask to be put on to ( i dont want to go straight to my doctor without doing my research and end up on a pill that doesn't help me at all so i thought asking here would be a good start)
- If i do switch to another pill that supposedly helps with acne will there be a period of adjusting where my acne will flare up?
- And i'm sorry if this question goes against the rules but i'm slightly curious as to whether anyone else who has been on Dianette noticed a serious decrease in the quality of their nails? Mine have become easy to chip and bits just flake off daily but it only occurred to me recently that before i started taking Dianette they were very healthy and in the past 18 months or so they've gone "down hill".

Sorry for the long text post!

PCOS

[thalionhiril.livejournal.com]

My midwife is pretty sure that I have pcos.  We're awaiting blood results to see if my testosterone levels have gone down within the past 2 months (just went off hormonal birth control last September), but the transvaginal ultrasound showed that my ovaries are consistent with a PCOS diagnosis.  

What I'm really wondering is, for those of you with pcos, have you been able to use less invasive methods to improve your symptoms? I want to exhaust all non-prescription methods first, so leaning more toward dietary modifications, exercise, herbal supplements, acupuncture, etc.  Within the past month I've increased the amount I exercise and typically try to eat a healthy diet, but could definitely eat more fruits and vegetables. I had a physical in December and my blood sugars, cholesterol and blood pressure are all within normal limits. 

This is definitely something I'll be discussing with my midwife at my next appointment but right now I'm feeling a little defeated  My partner and I are hoping to conceive soon and this is just gigantically, scary news for us.  I know that women with pcos can and have conceived, but I'm also finding information that there is an increased risk of miscarriage and breastfeeding issues.  Definitely could use a little "I have pcos and lovely baby(ies) that I breastfed forever..." talk right about now, if there are any of you out there.